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marmar

(79,396 posts)
Thu Jan 29, 2026, 08:52 AM 8 hrs ago

Man caught in 'sexual performance' with vacuum, deputies say




OSCEOLA COUNTY, Fla. – An Oviedo man was arrested this week after he was caught engaging in a “sexual performance” with a vacuum cleaner, according to the Osceola County Sheriff’s Office.

In a release, deputies said they responded to Grassendale Street in Kissimmee’s Windsor Hills Resort on Jan. 22 after receiving reports of a man “exposing his sexual organs in front of a residence.”

“The victims that observed this behavior provided a statement and a cell phone recording of a male, partially clothed, in front of a residence, engaged in a sexual performance with a vacuum cleaner,” the release reads.

However, deputies said the suspect had already left the area before a deputy could arrive.

Further investigation revealed that the suspect and his wife were listed as the hosts of an Airbnb and a home in the Windsor Hills Resort, deputies added. ...................(more)

https://www.clickorlando.com/news/local/2026/01/28/central-florida-man-caught-in-sexual-performance-with-vacuum-deputies-say/




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Man caught in 'sexual performance' with vacuum, deputies say (Original Post) marmar 8 hrs ago OP
Well, that sucks PJMcK 8 hrs ago #1
😆 Walleye 8 hrs ago #3
Rim Shot FalloutShelter 8 hrs ago #4
I'm not going to say it. NT mahatmakanejeeves 8 hrs ago #2
He picked her up on the curb mercuryblues 8 hrs ago #5
That's beautiful😂🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 Ray Bruns 7 hrs ago #10
Florida man..... ABC123Easy 8 hrs ago #6
He sings "Fifty Ways to Leave Your Hoover" as they take him away... Ocelot II 7 hrs ago #7
LOL! Ritabert 7 hrs ago #9
Just empty the canister, Bannister... Harker 5 hrs ago #12
Turn off the juice, Bruce... rubbersole 5 hrs ago #13
I'm still working on "Electrolux." Harker 5 hrs ago #14
Gonna have to drop a syllable or two on that one. rubbersole 4 hrs ago #15
That's a good approach! Harker 3 hrs ago #16
Or switch to Paul Simon's "Cecilia". rubbersole 3 hrs ago #17
Ooh, and good ones, too! Harker 3 hrs ago #18
Take Off The Tux,... ColoringFool 3 hrs ago #19
That's it! Harker 3 hrs ago #20
JD Vance likes the upholstery attachment Blue Owl 7 hrs ago #8
No doubt the vacuum seduced him rurallib 6 hrs ago #11

mercuryblues

(16,214 posts)
5. He picked her up on the curb
Thu Jan 29, 2026, 09:05 AM
8 hrs ago

Last edited Thu Jan 29, 2026, 09:52 AM - Edit history (1)

And swept her off her feet. Now he treats her like dirt.

rubbersole

(11,072 posts)
13. Turn off the juice, Bruce...
Thu Jan 29, 2026, 11:55 AM
5 hrs ago

..oh, god. I'll be doing this for an hour.
Must. Get. A. Job.

😖

Harker

(17,519 posts)
16. That's a good approach!
Thu Jan 29, 2026, 01:42 PM
3 hrs ago

Oddly enough, the late Lux Interior of The Cramps popped up briefly while I was working it.

Another angle would be to include it as a substitute in the "don't need to discuss much" line.

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