Newly discovered ancient texts refer to Jesus as a shape shifter

[Initech]

Shape-Shifting Jesus Described in Ancient Egyptian Text

A newly deciphered Egyptian text, dating back almost 1,200 years, tells part of the crucifixion story of Jesus with apocryphal plot twists, some of which have never been seen before.

Written in the Coptic language, the ancient text tells of Pontius Pilate, the judge who authorized Jesus' crucifixion, having dinner with Jesus before his crucifixion and offering to sacrifice his own son in the place of Jesus. It also explains why Judas used a kiss, specifically, to betray Jesus — because Jesus had the ability to change shape, according to the text — and it puts the day of the arrest of Jesus on Tuesday evening rather than Thursday evening, something that contravenes the Easter timeline.

http://www.livescience.com/27840-shape-shifting-jesus-ancient-text.html

Please tell me "Shape Shifting Jesus" is on the bill at Coachella this year!

[Smilo]

1. And why not

makes as much sense as anything else in the Good Book.

[Dr. Strange]

2. Every other franchise is being rebooted.

Why not Jesus?

[MADem]

3. Sounds like he had a blood pressure regulation issue!

Sometimes he is ruddy, sometimes he is white, sometimes he is red, sometimes he is wheat coloured, sometimes he is pallid like ascetics, sometimes he is a youth, sometimes an old man ..." This leads Judas to suggest using a kiss as a means to identify him. If Judas had given the arresters a description of Jesus he could have changed shape. By kissing Jesus Judas tells the people exactly who he is.