Dumb Criminals: Woman Hid Stolen $5000 Cash In Rectum

[Initech]

AUGUST 30--A Tennessee woman is hospitalized and facing a criminal charge for allegedly stealing $5000 from her boyfriend, cash she hid in her rectum and unsuccessfully sought to retrieve with a toilet brush and tongs when confronted by the theft victim, police report.

Christie Black, 43, swiped the money at the residence she shared with Bobby Gulley, according to a Hawkins County Sheriff’s Office report.

Gulley told deputies early Tuesday that the cash--in $100 denominations--had been in two envelopes inside a medicine bag that he placed atop a foosball table. Gulley further explained he did this to “set a trap” for Black, whom he suspected had been stealing from him.

http://www.thesmokinggun.com/documents/woman-hides-money-in-butt-685432

[TexasTowelie]

1. That's nothing, Initech!

I posted a much shittier article at the end of June:

(Bryan) Police: Driver fled from police, had (nearly a QP of) marijuana in rectum
http://www.democraticunderground.com/107810188

[d_r]

2. rectum!??

damn near killed um!

[Maraya1969]

3. She used a toilet brush to try and get it out???

First I hope to God that it was brand new and clean and second, WTF?

I wonder if the boyfriend was the one with the brush. She was in the hospital for at least two days and I expect it is hard to do that type of damage to your own rectum. Well then again I have heard stories.

[meow2u3]

4. She should have used an enema to get the money out

This way, she wouldn't have gotten caught.

[Ilsa]

5. The victim needs to launder the money.

Well, I would.

[47of74]

6. No shit.