Teens and suicide

[lumberjack_jeff]

This month in my son's small school (the 2012 graduating class will be 110 people) there were two suicides. 14 and 15 year old boys.

Boys are roughly 6x more likely to commit suicide than girls.

http://news.harvard.edu/gazette/1998/08.06/BoysStruggleToB.html

Boys will be boys, and that's now a big problem, according to Harvard psychologist William Pollack. He just completed a three-year study of healthy, middle-class boys and concluded that many of them are depressed, confused, isolated, and vulnerable.

Far from the stereotype of unfeeling "snips and snails and puppy dogs' tails," boys in the study voiced profound feelings of sadness, fear, and uncertainty about the prospect of becoming men. "Boys are caught in the impossible bind of living up to society's conception of the new male, who is caring, sensitive, and believes in female equality, while subscribing to traditional ideas about needing to be tough and macho," says Pollack.

The frustration of trying to live with a split psychology can lead to depression and repression of feelings, he concludes. It can also foster anger and violence. In extreme cases, it might contribute to suicide and murder.

Why? What can be done?

[Broderick]

1. I think bullying was far worse decades ago.

It's not that. There have been studies done and I find them all interesting, concerning social networking, gaming, and social requirements based on TV. We never had much for TV growing up. School was hard if you were a bit odd, and even fights were handled with a fist or two but now it's a gun. Depression from social interaction or lack thereof in the new social mediums like facebook and twitter can be devastating.

[tech_smythe]

3. It's not TV, it's not stereo types... it's real bullying

I considered suicide in HS, and many times since.
Part of it is depression, but I got that depression because I was different, and boys are taught from a V E R Y young age, that anyone who isn't macho enough is to be tormented.

I didn't know I was bi for a very long time, so that didn't factor into it.

I was raised to be respectful to girls, and people in general.

That meant that I missed out on alot of the typical "boys stuff". I missed the Balance (but I rant about that on another thread)

People, fathers who are assholes in general, teach their sons to be brutal to anyone who doesn't conform even a little, and as hellish as my pre-pubescant years were, my adolescence could have been worse.

For assorted reasons I had grown a thicker hide (not as thick as now, but that's age and cynicism) and avoided people. I also had three very good friends and BBSes (pre-internet) to hide in.

I can only imagine the living hell, and how much it's gotten WORSE in these last 20 years.

These boys are victims of being boys.
Much as I hate to use the term, they are victims of the patriarchy the feminists are constantly banging on about. They are victims of this stupid, macho culture we live in where boys must all submit to the pack alpha, become alpha or die.

Some of that is pure lizard brain stuff. With so much testosterone and hormones flooding the pubescent system it's not surprising we tend to resort to type.

The message these boys here everywhere, not as importantly on TV from from other men and boys, is "If you can't be a man, don't be!"

As twisted as it sounds, women and girls have more options.
Girls are utterly vicious to each other, but girls grow up learning how to be emotionally manipulative. Boys don't. They aren't prepared for the kind of vicious assaults they can receive from other small-minded males. Men have rules for fighting, and when those rules are broken, the results can be devastating to those unprepared.

How many of these poor boys who kill themselves every year were heart broken, or christian and told being teh gay is a mortal sin?

this won't ever stop until we change what we tell our young boys, and support them, and love them unconditionally, and make sure they understand that. They can be whoever they want without hurting others, or killing themselves.

but that's just me, waht do I know.