I Was a Secretly Gay Jehovah's Witness: How I Tried to Pray the Gay Away

[xchrom]

http://www.alternet.org/i-was-secretly-gay-jehovahs-witness-how-i-tried-pray-gay-away



I learned what it meant to be a homo from a fellow sixth grader. Michael was the most “grown up” kid I knew. He had blond hair that was so blond it was white and I always wanted to ask why he had white hair but that wouldn’t have been nice, so I never asked. I liked him enough to want to spend private time with him, making him my friend, which wasn’t going to happen. I admired his independence, and his confidence. His mom was a psychologist which I assumed was the obvious reason for his being so grown up. He stole a page out of his father’s Playboy magazine and brought it to school.

He unfolded the centerfold in front of friends, and three boys huddled around the image, totally absorbed by the female nudity. Bobby Prescott giggled uncontrollably. I watched them, starkly aware of the disparity between my boredom and the spell my classmates seemed to be under.

Michael’s older brother showed up at Piru Elementary every now and then. He was in high school, and he thought his own muscles were impressive enough to show off. He pulled up his pant legs, displaying his muscular calves to sixth graders, flexing them into a knot, and I felt an instant attraction.

Michael had a crush on Monica, another sixth grader. They chased each other around the playground and called each other ‘retard’ while throwing out accusations of being infected with cooties, and when she called him a ‘homo’ he laughed hysterically and explained to her what a homo was…and that if he liked her, he certainly wasn’t a homo.

[Bohunk68]

1. I am friends on fb with

a Gay Former Jehovah's Witness who is now an artist. His name is Jess Black and he would welcome friends. And the fact that he is just sooooooo cute. He is also a big-time animal activist. Also has a page of his art that has to do with winning his freedom from the JW's.

[Heather MC]

2. I was Raised a JW,

I never took the plunge to being a baptized Witness. I knew at 9 years old I would never do that. by 17 I walked out a back door and never returned. One of my brothers struggled with being transgendered but he had no one to confide in. My mother was so emersed in the faith we were not allowed to have friends who were not JWs.
Trust me it's difficult to find friends in a group you fundamentally disagree with. It would be like one DUer attending a freeper mixer 3 days a week for 17 years.

My brother never really learned how to accept himself. Even to this day he is 45 now. He feels there is something wrong with him because, he enjoys the company of a man, and identifies as woman. He is very tortured

[xchrom]

3. oy. so sad - the best to you and your family. nt

[girlfisher53]

5. Former JW

My earliest memory is at four yrs old going out knocking on doors. That was 50 yrs ago and I still remember that. At the age of 33 after going back and forth to the JW I wrote the letter stating I no longer wanted to be a member of their church. All hell broke loose. Lost my family for yrs even tho none of my brothers and sisters were in the 'truth' they just did not want to rock the boat so to speak. Long story short I'm glad I am out of that crazy cult. I feel for the young people in the JW cult. It is such a lonely and depressing life. I'm sorry your brother has not learned to love who he is. Hopefully one day he will.

[Control-Z]

6. I'm glad you found your way

to a comfortable place.

Welcome to DU, girlfisher53!

[Heather MC]

7. I asked my mother

would she still talk to me if I had gotten baptized and then "fell away"
she said, "Weeeelllllll, let's just be glad that didn't happen"

Imagine knowing if you do one thing wrong, you lose your entire family well you know. I met a little boy once who told me he didn't want to be a witness, but he was afraid his grandmother would Disown him if he didn't become a witness. he was 10.

What the witness don't get is knowing Christ and giving your life to him, is a personal choice. one that can't be made by children.
Even Christ didn't get baptized until he was 30. and yet they "Heavily incourage" children to make a life long committ long before they fully understand what happens to them if they get older and decide to change their mind.

I was lucky the year I snuck away the Jdubs changed the rules, they said if you are not baptized you are not a witness so I got to safely sneak away without the backlash. But I was doing the door to door stuff at 4 years old. And Adults have no reservations about slamming the door in the face of a four year old. And I was good to, I had my door knocking sermon fully memorized. I wrote a poem about my experience, I will have to dig up and Post it. It's called "Pimping for Jesus"

The title was born from a conversation with another Former JDUB friend, we were joking about have to do street work for the Lord and then I said yeah they had us pimping for Jesus LOL

[Fearless]

8. I'm very sorry for your losses

But I hope you can find some solace in the end.



And welcome to DU! See you around the boards!

[William769]

4. Kick & recommended.

[Fearless]

9. A beautiful ending.

Made my evening.