Appropo of nothing, did you ever have an 'aha' moment of your own

[closeupready]

in which you, quite suddenly, realized some aspect of your life that, from a very young age, you had developed and nurtured, building on it ... that basically, you had it ALL WRONG. Period. ?? I didn't just have that moment, but I'm getting glimpses of things. lol, is this called a 'mid-life crisis'?

I suppose in some ways, it's kind of like someone gay who pursued a conventional heterosexual life. At some point, some of them realize, the life you have is likely the only life you'll ever have (i.e., probably there isn't an afterlife), and if you let life pass you by without at LEAST trying to live with integrity, then you'll die a sad person, and nobody will care except you.

Whereas, if YOU follow the leads from people like Jane Goodall or Mother Teresa (flawed though she was) or Noam Chomsky or MLK, Jr., you might not achieve what you wanted and you might not live to see your dreams realized, but you will have made a DIFFERENCE, and people will remember you (and the life you led) with love and respect.

Sorry if this is too morose for this forum, and I apologize if so. Just kind of looking for thoughts from my GLBT brothers and sisters here. thanks.

[teenagebambam]

1. Have had a couple of periods like that

And in fact, may be starting one now. But I'm comforted by my belief that, absent some psychological disorder, none of us makes an intentionally bad decision, we make the best choices we can based on the information in front if us. The information, or our perception of it, is constant changing, though...so we may feel the need occasionally revise our paths.

I would submit, though, that if you're the type of person who wants to make a difference, you've probably been doing so all along, whether you knew it or not.

[closeupready]

2. Thanks for the response. "Everything happens for a reason"

is an old axiom, which is very true when you think about periods of your life which you think were wastes - well, no, they weren't - things happened that way because you were of limited means, or your head was in a different place, or whatever.

[teenagebambam]

3. Yeah, I really try

to avoid magical thinking - i.e. "everything happens for a reason" - but in hindsight, I can always see that circumstances, no matter how crappy at the time, have always contributed to getting me to a new place, and/or putting me in a position where I was helpful to others, even if my own personal circumstances were crappy for a while.