The Story of a Suicide Two college roommates, a webcam, and a tragedy

[xchrom]

http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/02/06/120206fa_fact_parker


Tyler Clementi, a gay Rutgers student, was electronically spied on by his roommate, Dharun Ravi, and Ravi’s friend Molly Wei.

Dharun Ravi grew up in Plainsboro, New Jersey, in a large, modern house with wide expanses of wood flooring and a swimming pool out back. Assertive and athletic, he used “DHARUNISAWESOME” as a computer password and played on an Ultimate Frisbee team. At the time of his high-school graduation, in 2010, his parents bought space in the West Windsor and Plainsboro High School North yearbook. “Dear Dharun, It has been a pleasure watching you grow into a caring and responsible person,” the announcement said. “You are a wonderful son and brother. . . . Keep up your good work. Hold on to your dreams and always strive to achieve your goals. We know that you will succeed.”

One day this fall, Ravi was in a courthouse in New Brunswick, fifteen miles to the north, awaiting a pre-trial hearing. In a windowless room, he sat between two lawyers, wearing a black suit and a gray striped tie. His eyes were red. Although he is only nineteen, he has a peculiarly large-featured, fully adult face, and vaguely resembles Sacha Baron Cohen. When Ravi is seen in high-school photographs with a five-o’clock shadow, he looks like an impostor.

His father, Ravi Pazhani, a slight man with metal-frame glasses, sat behind him. Some way to the right of Pazhani were Joseph and Jane Clementi. Jane Clementi, who has very straight bangs, wore a gold crucifix. She and her husband form a tall, pale, and formidable-looking couple. Their youngest son, Tyler, had died a year earlier, and the family’s tragedy was the silent focus of everyone in the room. That September, Tyler Clementi and Ravi were freshman roommates at Rutgers University, in a dormitory three miles from the courtroom. A few weeks into the semester, Ravi and another new student, Molly Wei, used a webcam to secretly watch Clementi in an embrace with a young man. Ravi gossiped about him on Twitter: “I saw him making out with a dude. Yay.” Two days later, Ravi tried to set up another viewing. The day after that, Clementi committed suicide by jumping from the George Washington Bridge.

Read more http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2012/02/06/120206fa_fact_parker#ixzz1l3bo09gf

[Happyhippychick]

1. As well as I know this story, I cannot help but cry every time I read it again.

And I will read it again and again and again.

[xchrom]

3. +1

[William769]

6. +1.

[Ecumenist]

2. Oh my God, I remember reading about this tragedy. Bless Tyler's soul now that he's in the arms of

God and bless his family and the family of the young man who was so misguided in his intrusion into Tyler's personal space .

[MarkCharles]

4. Quite an exhaustive study of the people and events, and so

rudely awakening as to how certain straight young folks treat their LGBT acquaintances, even under the guise of "acceptance" and "tolerance".

[Fearless]

5. Another dark, shameful day for humanity.

When will this nation understand the impact that conservative memes have on us all?

[closeupready]

7. In the article, Ravi Dharun uses the word "gay" 50 bazillion times. "Faggot" at least once, IIRC.

I know that this is a claim that is disputed here by many, but as a long-time GLBT member here, I do feel that this indicates latent, repressed homosexual ideas and fantasies.

I'm not sure how else one can explain such obsession - almost fascination - with gay sex and gay people. It isn't as though Ravi had an obsession with Tyler's musical interests; in fact, it doesn't appear he had any interest in Tyler AT ALL - he didn't speak with Tyler, he had to pushed by his father to introduce himself to Tyler during their first meeting. It seems to me that Ravi's fascination with Tyler pertained to Tyler's sexual activities.

Separately, while I feel badly for Clementi's family, I found myself angered by Tyler's mother when she goes, "I don't know why Tyler just didn't come out to us earlier." I understand she's a grieving mother, and in pain; at the same time, looking at what the article tells us from a dispassionate stand, it's clear to me that their church had EVERYTHING to do with Tyler's shame and suppression of his homosexuality.

That she now claims his homosexuality shouldn't have been a big deal kind of seems to me like she seeks to minimize culpability of her church in Tyler's mental state. I completely reject that argument. Obviously as his mother, she's better informed than I am, but I'm just commenting from what the article says. (And the entire article is gripping; must read material for everyone here.)

[xchrom]

8. +1