How Not to be Defensive When Accused of Transphobia (A Guide For Cis People)

[Zenlitened]

By Lisa Harney
QuestioningTransphobia.com

3) Take the criticism seriously. Do not dismiss it out of hand, especially if the criticism comes from a trans person. Trans people tend to be more aware of transphobia than most cis people are. This is because transphobic attitudes are often a matter of life and death – the ability to find a job, get housing, not get murdered, that sort of thing. ...

5) Don’t Make It About Your Accuser. ...Don’t tell them they’re trying to silence you – they’re not, they’re trying to tell you how your words and actions hurt them. Don’t tell them they’re driving you away. Don’t make the accusation that “any disagreement with a trans person is labeled as transphobia.” None of these things are true, and trying to claim they are is simply an attempt to stop others from pointing out your transphobic behavior. ...

6) Don’t "Hate the Sin, Not the Sinner." Don’t try to justify your actions by claiming you’re opposed to transgender politics. Just don’t. You’re rationalizing your transphobia and imposing your worldview on trans people, by assigning motives and politics to them that they may not themselves have. ...You’re not dealing with theory, you’re dealing with human beings, and their lives. To you, the question as to whether trans people have valid identities may be a matter of theory. For trans people, it’s a matter of life and death.

Link:
http://www.questioningtransphobia.com/?p=2632

[maddezmom]

1. wish I was computer savvy so I could make this my sig line

bookmarked.

[Zenlitened]

14. Yes, I really like the way the author summed it up:

You’re not dealing with theory, you’re dealing with human beings, and their lives.

I'm going to try to remember that when thinking about or addressing all subjects, not solely TG issues.

[xchrom]

2. Du rec. Have you X-posted this else where?

I think that would be good.

[Zenlitened]

7. Hmm... thought about it, decided not to.

Honestly, I can see where some might see the article as confrontational, and would tend to react... well, defensively.

Then I would feel compelled to... um, defend the piece from criticism I considered unnecessarily defensive.

Don't wanna go there tonight.

I certainly wouldn't object (and, really, would have no right to!) if you'd like to re-post elsewhere, though.

[NMDemDist2]

3. I'm sorry, but what is Cis?

I probably am one and don't even know it

[TheWraith]

5. Standard gendered, non-trans people. nt

[Jim Lane]

6. Cis = cisgendered, meaning still being of the gender you were born into, and being fine with that

IOW, opposite of transgendered.

You'll sometimes see the term "gender-normative" for the same thing, but "cisgendered" avoids the implication that this status is a norm (although obviously it is more common than trans).

More information: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cisgender

[Zenlitened]

15. Good link, and a good, concise definition in your subject line.

Cis = cisgendered, meaning still being of the gender you were born into, and being fine with that

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cisgender

Must confess, I don't find the word rolls easily off the tongue, and I haven't tended to use it often, myself.

But here's (another) case where having a wider vocabulary makes it easier to just plain think about a topic, let alone discuss it.

Thanks.

[William769]

4. Recommended.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

8. this line stood out to me and i will try to be more aware of when i use it

..."Finally, I concluded by suggesting that whatever “card” claims of racism may prove to be for the black and brown, the denial card is far and away the trump, and whites play it regularly: a subject to which we will return"

[La Lioness Priyanka]

9. i posted this in women's rights, hope thats ok with you

[Zenlitened]

12. Certainly, of course that's OK.

I had contemplated cross-posting in General Discussion, but felt that the potential for skirmishing was too great.

Or just more than I wanted to manage right now, at least.

Hopefully the discussion can be a bit more focused in a small group.

And I really like the way you phrased it:

...not all women are cis-gendered and if we claim to support women's rights, then we need to seriously support transgendered women and their rights. not just the rights of cis gender women.

Emphasis added, 'cause I think that's a real aha! moment way of thinking about it.

[La Lioness Priyanka]

13. thanks

[La Lioness Priyanka]

18. to me this applies not just to MTF but also to FTM and gender queer people

in my opinion, all of this involves supporting women's rights. right to no longer be seen as a women and the right to be seen as a woman and the right to be seen as more/less of a woman.

[Initech]

10. "Hate the sin, not the sinner".

God, if I had a dollar every time I heard a Christian conservative utter those words I'd be fucking rich.

[Zenlitened]

11. Yeah, I find that phrase galling. Like, here's a fact:

I'm not a sinner.

And I'd go a step further: There's no such thing as "sin."

Only cruelty, so reflexive and habitual, so casual in its contempt and so satisfied amid the harm it causes, that it rises to the level of Evil.

Real evil.

Which is an entirely human attribute or artifact, no god or gods required.

[marginlized]

16. That was nice

Only cruelty, so reflexive and habitual, so casual in its contempt and so satisfied amid the harm it causes, that it rises to the level of Evil.

I'll remember that.

[Zenlitened]

19. Thnx :)

[Initech]

17. What I find funny and quite ironic is that the people quickest to point out the sin...

Are the ones most likely to get caught doing it. It is cruel. I would like to think that at some point in our evolution we will put this crap aside and take things like this seriously but I doubt it will happen at least in my lifetime.