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I want to apply to be on the Republican Sex Panel ...
From what it looks like, if the Republicans regain total power, there will be Republican Sex Panels, like the mythical "Death Panels" of Republican lies.
I want to be on the "Republican Death Panel", where you get to decide who is allowed to have sex.
Then again, I think that I would not qualify. Given the makeup of the Republican panel on women's issues, I would be disqualified, because I have had sex with a woman (my wife).