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bif

(25,882 posts)
Mon Apr 7, 2025, 11:12 AM Apr 2025

Rough night last evening

Some old friends are in town and they're spending a couple nights with us. Last night they and my wife were really hooking into the booze and it drove me crazy. I managed not to drink, but it sure brought back memories of getting drunk together. I ended up heading upstairs to my lair about 10 to watch a movie and treat myself to a bowl of ice cream. Yikes! One more evening and I'll be out of the woods!

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Rough night last evening (Original Post) bif Apr 2025 OP
I am amazed by your strength! cilla4progress Apr 2025 #1
Hang in there! You can do it! SheltieLover Apr 2025 #2
Oh wow, that was hard! Hope22 Apr 2025 #3
I applaud your strength and abhor the behavior of your 'friends'... Moostache Apr 2025 #4
Is your wife not supportive of your sobriety? rzemanfl Apr 2025 #5
That's a hard part...congrats to you... MiHale Apr 2025 #6
Gods that must be hard. MuseRider Apr 2025 #7
Being haunted by their temptations is just not very fair. magicarpet Apr 2025 #8
They're really dear old friends. bif Apr 2025 #9
Best Wishes to You on this tough road. There are great things ahead on that road.-n/t marked50 Apr 2025 #10
You'll be fine Figarosmom Apr 2025 #11
You can do this cate94 Apr 2025 #12
Stay strong. LoisB Apr 2025 #13
Good for you! 24 hours at a time... RainCaster Apr 2025 #14
Way to go bif 👍🏼 Clouds Passing Apr 2025 #15
You did good. applegrove Apr 2025 #16
A repeat last night bif Apr 2025 #17
Been there. Maninacan Apr 2025 #18
My reward is bif Apr 2025 #19
That must have been hard. LizVerite Apr 21 #20

Hope22

(4,053 posts)
3. Oh wow, that was hard!
Mon Apr 7, 2025, 11:21 AM
Apr 2025

I’m sorry you had to deal with it! Hope you were able to out wait them on the cleanup detail! May tonight be easier but either way hang tough! It’s so not worth the pain. Love to you!💗🙏🏼

Moostache

(10,664 posts)
4. I applaud your strength and abhor the behavior of your 'friends'...
Mon Apr 7, 2025, 11:29 AM
Apr 2025

True friends understand that when one of their own is hurting, and in need of support, that habits detrimental to that person are secondary and should be what's sacrificed temporarily. Otherwise, its patently selfish to say "fuck you and your problems, I'M GETTING HAMMERED anyway". We all make choices about out behaviors and also make choices of how that effects those in our friend groups and social circles...

When I quit smoking many years ago (2008), I was forced to abandon an entire set of former friends because they were unwilling to simply not smoke in front of me or while I was in the group. It was not a decision I wanted, but it was one that was given to me instead - stay with the group of people purporting to be my friends and resume smoking, or make a new group of friends amennable to my health concerns. A side-effect of this was that I pretty much quit drinking as well, though my addiction was the nicotine and behavioral reinforcements of being in pool halls and bars that encouraged both (at the time there was no public prohibitions at all).

I wish you continued strength and best wishes for your sobriety.

rzemanfl

(30,698 posts)
5. Is your wife not supportive of your sobriety?
Mon Apr 7, 2025, 11:32 AM
Apr 2025

I am sure the situation is awkward for her. Having these people stay with you was probably not the best idea. You only have to make it through one more day and night. You can do it.

MiHale

(11,913 posts)
6. That's a hard part...congrats to you...
Mon Apr 7, 2025, 11:35 AM
Apr 2025

A few years into my quit I was able to sit back and enjoy their drunkenness. It was kinda fun. Then I had a nice morning fixing breakfast and chatting with hungover friends, much to their dismay.

Congratulations again for keeping your sobriety.
I had great support I must admit.

MuseRider

(34,810 posts)
7. Gods that must be hard.
Mon Apr 7, 2025, 11:37 AM
Apr 2025

Good for you. Every time you do that I hope you celebrate yourself for your strength. Been through it with a few others, I am one of the lucky people who can drink or drug and get crazy messed up (back in the olden days of youth) and just sleep it off and go another year or two before even wanting it again. My mother and one of my brothers were bad with drinking. Both dead far too young.

magicarpet

(18,455 posts)
8. Being haunted by their temptations is just not very fair.
Mon Apr 7, 2025, 11:37 AM
Apr 2025

At least you have the strength and sense to weather the storm.

bif

(25,882 posts)
9. They're really dear old friends.
Mon Apr 7, 2025, 11:47 AM
Apr 2025

We've had good times with them. We go back to my high school days. And my wife has been friends with them since college, back in the mid 1970s. We even went on vacation together (to England) in the early 80s. My wife is totally supportive. They moved to Texas about a dozen years ago and hardly ever come back to Michigan. It was easier than you'd think.

Figarosmom

(6,830 posts)
11. You'll be fine
Mon Apr 7, 2025, 01:48 PM
Apr 2025

I think you realize it's just not something worth your time any longer.

When you get the urge do just what you did last night. Go off by yourself and enjoy something good for you that you love.

cate94

(2,984 posts)
12. You can do this
Mon Apr 7, 2025, 02:07 PM
Apr 2025

I’ve managed to do this since the first days after rehab. I’ve found myself sometimes jealous but chocolate gets me through it. A plan for leaving when it gets difficult is your best bet and exactly what you did by going upstairs to watch a movie. Bravo to you!

I hate vodka, so I would ask friends to drink that or wine. Whiskey was hard for me to ignore at first, but it is getting easier. And I actually like being sober now! Again, leaving when it gets difficult is your best defense. Eventually you won’t miss it.

bif

(25,882 posts)
17. A repeat last night
Tue Apr 8, 2025, 08:03 AM
Apr 2025

The wine was flowing freely. I ducked out around 9ish and my wife said I needed some "me time." I wan't tempted to drink, but after a while, the conversations just get kind of boring.

Maninacan

(156 posts)
18. Been there.
Wed Apr 9, 2025, 01:56 PM
Apr 2025

My SO is very supportive. She only drinks occasionally an an event or dinner. You should go somewhere ,Treat Yourself to a movie or something.

LizVerite

(24 posts)
20. That must have been hard.
Mon Apr 21, 2025, 03:19 PM
Apr 21

I'm a recovering alcoholic, so I sympathize. I've had cravings lately, but I tell myself that what I crave is an escape from pain.

Alcohol never worked for that.

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