Not sure if this is the right forum

[Capt. Obvious]

but here goes.

How do you deal with someone who is constantly in pain and lashes out? Do you recognize the lashing out if you're doing it?

Sometimes I forget and react in anger at the lashing out but I've been trying lately to not react. It's hard. The best I can seem to do is start to react, and stop part way in and leave them alone. That doesn't seem to be the best option depending on the day as I'm apparently abandoning. It's hard to keep my emotions in check as the lashing out comes out of nowhere and I immediately go into fight or flight mode.

[CaliforniaPeggy]

1. Sounds to me as though both of you could use some good mental health counseling.

And if the person lashing out isn't getting adequate pain relief, that needs to be addressed first, and urgently.

You both need outside help. This isn't something you can handle by yourself.

I wish you the best.

[Warpy]

2. The person who is lashing out is usually depressed along with the pain

Untreated pain is a fatal condition, many people who see no other way out commit suicide.

If the person hasn't sought help already, then you need to drag him/her in to get it.

[libodem]

3. CP and Warpy

Have it right. I fight chronic pain all the time it does make me short tempered. But I try to be responsible for my feelings and attitude so I don't grump out on people.

Professional help sounds necessary. Plus it doesn't sound like adequate pain management is happening. Unrelenting uncontrolled pain is a death threat. I have mine more or less managed with a little help for breakthrough. I'd go crazy in about three days if if couldn't be controlled. Not kidding. Now if I could take a pill for the depression and cynicism people might even like me.

[Capt. Obvious]

4. They're going to see a pain specialist in a few weeks

I hope something finally works.

[libodem]

5. Me too

I was working with a blown disc in my lower back. Believe me If somebody needed a PRN at the end of the hall I wasn't smiling when I got there. That was the worst trying to be gentle and kind when I was screaming inside. I'm so relieved to be on disability.