Nice fact I heard from my counselor today

[kozar]

And yes I thought about leaving Du.
As I expressed my frustrations with him, and how things to be moving so slowly, he said,(paraphrasing, but statement impacted me)

“Doug, Your daughter knew her Mom for 33 yrs, you knew your daughter for 18. That’s all On the Job Training, she had Mom to go to, you had wife there to lean on, and ask questions.
Daughter going thru a great trauma, and so are you. And it’s only been 7 months since you a daughter had to go solo. Nothing is perfect, but you 2 appear to being doing pretty good.
Keep her calm, when she acts up. But first, stop rushing yourself to trying to be perfect”


Hmmm

Koz

[Karadeniz]

1. Sounds very reasonable....

[stopdiggin]

2. agree. sometimes a pretty good day

can just be one without a hail storm and tornado. Sounds like you might be doing a better than you think.

[PJMcK]

3. Breathe

As I was told at an extremely difficult time in my younger life:

You've survived the worst days of your life. You're doing fine.

Hang in there, Kozar. You've got this.

Peace.

[Ziggysmom]

4. Your counselor's words sound spot on. Give your self some slack. You are not only handling all

of the household and parenting things that two people used to take care of, but you have lost your life companion. Grief after losing a loved one is very hard on your health. I hope you can forget about trying to be be perfect and concentrate on taking care of you and your needs, too.

I know you love your daughter and take great care of her, but caring for yourself is one of the most important—and one of the most often forgotten—things you can do as a caregiver. When your needs are taken care of, your dear daughter will benefit, too.

Hugs to you both!

[No Vested Interest]

5. Glad to know you are seeing a counselor, and listening to his counsel to you.

The older we get -- (I'm old enough to be your mother)- we live exactly what your counselor said - "Nothing is perfect."

I'll add - life never will be perfect. All we can do is the best we have each day, realizing that not only are we all human, thus imperfect -
but those around us, including the helpers, are also human, thus imperfect.

Love ourselves, our family, neighbors, helpers for who we are now and for trying - day after day.

By the way - how is your new job going? Do you like it? Is it good to be out with others a bit each day? Hope all is well in that direction.