Feeling extra-shitty today
We're 95% housebound. My Dr told me find a friend , so I did on reddit. I let it be known *that I have a very old semi-reliable car and can't drive far* like, right up front. I was looking for someone near me, but the only person who responded was 20 mins away over an ancient bridge. I get it. I'm a pain
I introduced myself, and immediately explained the car problem.
We've taken about 3 trips over a long range of months, and she drives. She said it was'nt a problem and she's 15 mins away, and loved driving. Great. Hooray.
Nice woman and so far, wetook trips where my apt was on the way to the location. She wants me to drive now to her area, over a bridge, to see some estuary. I apologized profusely for my car. She's well off. I'm not. Any money that went to a newer car is now in my fucking mouth with tmj tx.
Now she's blowing me off. I feel like an annoying loser who lets ppl down. My home situation is not the greatest. But I laid out the problem frontally. Car. If it stalls on the bridge, I'm jumping off it with whats been happening the last year.
Feel so rejected and despised
now. Being poor sucks. Tmj $$$$ tx sucks. Am I a pain in the ass? It is what it is, I guess.
ETA: she seemed a little passive-aggressive yesterday. But I'm not willing to stall out on a busy nightmare bridge/road.
= new reply since forum marked as read
Try not to get too far down in the dumps, things will work out. Remember you can always come here and talk. I know talking about my fears sometimes helps me. Although I get terrible anxiety evenings. Don’t forget we love you here 
Thank you so much
I just feel like I explained the situation immediately so the potential friend knew the situation up front. I wish I had a better car. TMJ tx basically wiped out 25 yrs of savings.
I'm now to the point of paying car insurance almost more than the car is worth
Last edited Wed Jun 19, 2024, 03:43 PM - Edit history (1)
keep looking! 
How are you?
Yeah, I get ppl want friends who can drive to their homes (I was invited for lunch)...but Id be so tense and worried, I wouldn't enjoy it. And I explained the situation five minutes after contacting. We've met three times in total over at least 6 months or more..so its not like weekly
trips , or daily trips.
I just don't get why someone would protest when you explain a situation right away. She was getting a bit snippy, and kept saying she's sick of making plans. Which I don't get. I told her I'm glad to get out of the house. She's driving, so to me, her choice. 
ETA if it was a problem, just tell me upfront. She drives everywhere, day and night.
morphing into retirement.....that's quite the adjustment after half a century of work!
that gal is a bit off....you're a catch, a valued DUer......... keep looking....play the field 
You know you are a good person. You know you have never had issues in the past with making friends and being around other people.
Yet, suddenly, now we are shunned and ignored whenever possible. It is so strange to me. However, I do have to say this. Making friends with a rich person is problematic because they usually (I said usually, not all the time and not every rich person) have no concept of any kind of life other than a privileged one. Take it from someone who made the same mistake.
I hope you can find someone that works better for you. They are out there, although at times they seem to be everywhere but where I am! 
(One incident with this person was the day they wanted us to go with them to their cabin up in the northern part of the state. My husband works during the days this person wanted us to go. When he told the person this, that person offered him $500 to take the entire weekend off and go to the cabin. (That is like one day of work for him.) We told him that we could not do it unless he paid the entire amount that my husband was going to lose and a written agreement that, once my husband was fired for talking off all those days (this company is trying to get rid of my husband because they don't like his presence reminding them that they screwed him over, despite the fact that he is one of their most knowledgeable and senior employees), that the person would sign a contact that said that they would pay what my husband stands to lose over taking the trip. Which means getting the pay he was getting for working there until he is able to find a new job. Understandably, they did not go for this. But, this shows that Daddy Warbucks has no understanding of what 90-some percent of the country goes through each day. It also shows a decided lack of respect for other people as they seem to see us as toys or the 'object of the moment'. I feel you may have dodged a bullet myself, but this is just my opinion.)
HUGS! to you!
First off, within ten minutes of meeting her, and in my post, I explained limited driving issues. Like, it's right there. And she drives constantly, including to NY regularly. She loves to drive and it was NO PROBLEM. She drives by night, and almost hits deer. She drives by the apt to the beach all the time. She ranted at me about her legal/ family/ health issues. Phone an in-person. I thought I could touch on my living domestic situation, and she called me an enabler.
Knowing she was undergoing issues, I would check in on her every couple of days. Not once did she ever take ten seconds to text, hi how are you? Even though I have my own health issues. Jesus, I just want a local person to go to lunch and the movies with.
I thought everything was fine. She's got ten maladies, so I figured it was her decision to when she was healthy enough to do anything. I dunno.
Anyway, I'm not able to drive to her home. So. That's that.
Id better be careful with whom I reach out to. I don't want to end up on a missing poster. Just posted my latest "interaction" on reddit
My husband and I 'met' online. I have always said I do not condone that method because of the dangers, but we met before the internet became what it is today. So yes, always be careful using the web to meet other people. Even when using Meetup and things like that.