I'm on a hunting trip, forgive me.

[Denninmi]

No, this is not psychologically the best idea. And, I'm in the ridiculous position of defending something I completely don't believe in.

Why? Because I'm trying to get my bag limit of bigots. I am waiting for them to throw my psych history in my face and tell me I am less equal under the law.

This is such a bad idea. But I feel compelled.

[Fumesucker]

1. Evidently n/t

[Denninmi]

2. I pulled the plug.

It was a bad idea, and I'm in a bad frame of mind right now. I picked a bad time to become bipolar, and a worse time to come out about it to DU.

Frankly, let them haul me off to the gas chamber and be over with it.

[Tobin S.]

3. I don't think you have to prove anything to anyone, Dennis.

It's okay to fight against ignorance, but when it comes down to it, it's your life and your body and it's nobody else's business unless you want it to be.

By now you probably know me well enough to know my style on DU- where I post and what I say. Personally, I'm more into talking to individuals who are suffering and/or who want to know more about mental health issues. I'll post in other threads on the issue, but I'm not much into fighting on here- although there is a time when it is appropriate. I just don't go looking for it.

[Denninmi]

5. Hi, guys, the two of you to my rescue again.

Thanks for always having my back.

I want to come back to this whole thing later, I need to think about why I am so obsessed with this political drama, over and above the surface level fear of these yahoos actually being sick enough to pass some kind of mental illness registration law.

HS1628, I did go see it, over a month ago. I could relate to some of it, but I thought it only gave a surface explanation of bipolar and depression. I wish I was as good looking as Bradley Cooper. And his age, too.

[Denninmi]

6. I still don't know who or what I am really fighting.

My therapist seems to wants to relate everything back to my father, but it seems pretty cliche to me - sometimes a cigar really is a cigar I think.

All of this is so weird. The up and down is hard, feel better, feel like crap again.

I am kind of pissed of at my therapist anyway, and I have never had a problem with her before. This whole bipolar vs PTSD business bugs me -why in the hell even bring it in the first place if you're just going to tell me it makes no difference at all? I tried explaining to her several different ways why this matters so much to me, and it was like she won't listening. Maybe she has some kind of plan or rational that is beyond my perception.

There is the surface explanation of why I keep taking on bigots in GD -I really am terrified about what could come out of DC. Now, my have a commission being set up by McCain and Manchin, two of the NRA's biggest lap dogs. If the NRA wants us scapegoated, that is what will happen.

[Tobin S.]

7. Maybe she has a plan...maybe she fucked up and hopes you'll forget about it.

Who knows if she won't tell you? I'd press her on the issue and let her know how you feel. She should know how important trust is in the patient/therapist relationship and I think she owes you an explanation.

At the same time, she might be right about your father to some extent. It must have been very difficult growing up with him as your father and I wouldn't discount the possibility of there being long term ramifications of your relationship with him including the idea that he is in large part responsible for your illness.

People think you're wimpy if you blame others for your problems, but that's not the case if it's the truth! The trick to the whole deal is how you resolve matters after you've pointed the finger and laid the blame where it belongs. You can acknowledge that people did bad stuff to you, work through it, and come out the other side whole without saying a word to anybody but your therapist. I had a rough childhood, but I've been able to process what happened to me and how that affected me without any arguments or show-downs or even saying anything at all about it to my family. I live 50 miles away from them now and they know things have changed, but I dealt with the drama and the hate without involving them at all. I was grown and I had the ability to shape my own world, I just had to acknowledge and deal with those who had molded me to that point to move on into my own...and it was all in my head.

[Denninmi]

9. Why do it? Because I'm an ass, and I'm pissed off.

Not a good combination.

I think it merits a deeper answer. Who am I standing up against? And why?

My therapist would say I am confronting my father, standing up to say no, I won't let you do that to me.

I think that is far too simplistic.

I will be so glad if/when this whole open season on us is over.

It remains a mystery, even to me. Maybe I'm just looking for a bar fight and this is the closest I have come.

[Denninmi]

11. Because it felt stupid, immature.

Like something a 14 year old would do.

[HereSince1628]

12. OK

[Denninmi]

13. Sorry, it's all of the depth I could muster right now.

Maybe when I'm more with it.

Btw, check out the new law in NY that Cuomo got passed - I would call it the "can't trust your therapist anymore" law. I can't believe there isn't more of an outcry from mental health professionals. So much for confidentiality.