Been a while since I've posted here, but I've just been so down lately
And hoping y'all can help me.
I've been having really bad bouts of depression off and on for the past two months. I thought it was just the holiday blues(and working retail doesn't help with that) but it's still going on and today has been a really rough day.. came home from work and all I wanted to do is sleep. The biggest thing on my mind right now is my best friend, who is nearly twice my age an having some health issues right now.. just been so worried about her today.
Also, my family isn't very supportive of my illness(just telling me to snap out of it, as if that's possible) and I just don't know where to turn. Sometimes I'll cry myself to sleep thinking people just don't care. I'm not as bad now as I was in 2007(when I had to be hospitalized twice) but I am pretty down. I could use any advice or encouragement y'all can give now.. thank you!
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I also have family who can be quite critical at times. Oddly enough, one of them is a counselor and has depression herself. They say they want to help, but they do more harm than good.
I agree with Tobin see your Dr and see what they can do. I'd also highly recommend seeing a counsellor or psychologist. These are ultimately complex long standing issues that usually have deep roots and take years to fully come to terms with.
As to your family I'm sorry to hear that. That can indeed make things so much harder. But let me give my own 2 cents of the mater. Family usually can only be so helpful in these matters even at the best of times. The reason is ironically they are too close to the issue and have their own emotional vested interests. They can't step back from the issue even if they wanted to and give you the kind of support you may truly need. My own family is very supportive, kind, and well meaning. So you would think that in my case things would be easier. Not necessarily. In my case, as in many, the family is too closely tied up with my emotional issues. As supportive and loving as they are they are also unwittingly a large source of my problems. I don't know if this is true for you, it may not be the case at all, but I think the idea that family is "too close to the issue to help" rings true for many of us here.
Sorry I can't offer anything specific. I've been going through so much horrible shit myself these past few months I'm not in a good place myself.
The community is always here for you though!
you are not alone, but I know it does feel like that sometimes.
What I found is people do want to reach out and help, but confronting other's deep sadness is a risk to them because people would rather be like water spiders and run across the surface and not look any deeper, it's safer that way, or so we've been told and trained. We are trained actors most of our lives because we think no one will like the real us. And that is not true, but it sure feels like it sometime.
Just want to thank everyone for their kind words.. I really appreciate it!
I am doing much better now. I think with the time changing and it staying daylight later is helping a lot. Also, my best friend went in for her stress test last week, and everything came back normal, I am so relieved. I'm not crying myself to sleep as much anymore but I do still have my moments. I think as the days get longer and the weather improves I will get better, it's just been a really rough winter and it has really affected my mood.
this winter has been awful, the coming of spring is making a big difference for me.
i hope your mood continues to improve