Any ideas to stop one dog being afraid of another?

[laundry_queen]

I'm currently dog sitting my parents' dog, S. I'm pretty close with him since I did live with my parents for awhile and was with him a lot. I dog sit on a regular basis. He's a 4 year old poodle/havanese/maltese cross that is around 8-9 lbs. Very sweet little guy and I love him a lot. He's well behaved, maybe a little yappy. Gets along great with other dogs - has never had a problem with big or little dogs.

Until I got my little girl, Maple, this summer.

My little girl is super tiny. She's 6 months and all of 3 lbs. She's a poodle/yorkie/maltese cross. When we got her, she was very submissive and was cowering from her brother. She was frightened of everything. I almost didn't choose her because of it (I wanted the brother - he was bigger and more alert) but my kids wanted the little girl. So we got her and she was, from day one, the easiest puppy on the planet. She potty trained quickly, is great on walks, doesn't yap much (and it's a quiet bark when she does), aims to please and gets along great with all dogs.

Except for S. She was pretty excited to see S the first time and ran right up to him to want to play. She's not aggressive or even assertive mostly, but she was just curious. S ran away and hid. We couldn't get him to come out for anything. My parents and I thought we'd just give it time. It's been 3 months of many visits and weeks of dog sitting. We've tried all the tricks that we know...and S doesn't want to have anything to do with Maple. You can tell she wants him to like her. Just a few minutes ago, she came up on my bed where S was, and tried to lay down beside him. He moved to the opposite end of the bed. She crawled on her belly to get nearer to him, acting submissive. He ran away.

Sometimes she will try to play with him and he will growl and bark at her aggressively. Sometimes he will chase her or she will chase him for a few minutes and it seems like they are playing, but then he gets scared or aggressive again.

When we are at my brother's house with his 2 dogs, all the dogs get along great together, except S and Maple. I don't understand. Why is S scared? Maple is so much smaller than him, and acts very submissive, but if I make them sit together for a photo, he panics and starts shaking violently. WTHeck? I just really want them to get along and not have S so terrified every time I dog sit him. Any ideas?

[applegrove]

1. I once introduced my cat Sam to a new

kitten Mickey. Sam growled at the kitten till I put them in separate rooms. They could smell each other through the door. They could see each other underneath the door. Mickey kept sticking her paws under the door to play. Sam was fascinated. I let the anticipation build for a day and a half. Finally I let them be together and they got along great. Don't know if this would work for your guys.

[laundry_queen]

2. That's a very interesting idea.

I'm not sure how I can make it work...they both follow me everywhere and whine if they are left behind. Maybe I'll try to keep them apart for the next day or so by having one of my daughters keep Maple in their room with the door closed. This way S can stay with me, but wander over there if he feels like it. I do notice that sometimes he acts like he wants to sniff her, but then she gets all excited and he runs away. Maybe a door in between in just the thing.

Thanks!

[Auntie Bush]

3. Was S adopted?

If she was...maybe she had a very bad or painful experience with a small dog and now identifies Maple as the evil one. I feel sorry for S....always being afraid. Hope you can get him over his fear....good luck.

[laundry_queen]

4. No he wasn't

my parents brought him home at 7 wks old. And he's been around other small dogs when my parents take him to the lake...and he's fine with THEM. I don't get it. At first my parents thought it was because Maple was too lively for him, hopping around all the time, but then friends of theirs had a new yorkie pup that was the same size as Maple, who also wanted to play with him all the time, and he was fine with that pup. So far it's remained a mystery. I know, I feel bad for S too...I really wanted him and Maple to be good friends.

[jtuck004]

5. When Maple shows up, make it a happy time. Get some high-value treats, such as

little bits of real chicken, beef, whatever they REALLY like, and when she appears, the treat doors open. It may take a while, but in most cases S will eventually begin to associate the goodness with Maple.

Don't try to guess what is in their heads, just focus on the behavior. Don't push them together, and don't trap them, make it as easy and FUN, FUN, FUN as possible.

And be patient. It may never happen, but any stress brought into the process will get in the way, and may be more easily remembered by S than the treats.

There might be other things you can do, but this would be a start...

[laundry_queen]

6. Thanks. That's a good idea.

I do love to spoil him with treats when he's here, but it would probably be better if I made it related to seeing/being around Maple. I'll let you know how that works!

[jtuck004]

7. I'd be interested. Food is a powerful motivator, for any animal.

Also...

i'm not big on drugs except in extreme cases (people sometimes resort to them for behavior modification when they are not patient, or in an emergency, but they don't really modify much in my experience), but Melatonin is sold over the counter in the health food section, often used to calm dogs during thunderstorms. 1mg and 5 mg, (I used a 5 for one of my dogs, - she weighs about 40 lb - during thunderstorms) and people use it sometimes as a sleep aid. I have never had a problem with it, except for my wife taking the ones meant for my dog when she has trouble sleeping , but as with any substance it pays to be careful, don't overdo it, and even check with a vet or do some personal research.

While the melatonin won't modify behavior, it might help relax S enough that the treats and other attention work.

Let me know, but don't be in a hurry.

[laundry_queen]

11. interesting - I just started taking it for myself.

I don't think he's that freaked out to need it, but he does have other neurotic behaviors (omg, do NOT chew gum around this dog, lol) that it might help with.

[jtuck004]

12. Wha does he do when you chew gum? n/t

[laundry_queen]

15. He starts shaking violently and panting if I make him stay

and will do anything to find a way to escape, and he won't come near me for hours afterwards. One time, I picked him up and he scratched the shit out of my arms and chest trying to get away from me and I had NO idea WTheck was going on! Then it occurred to me, OH, I'm chewing GUM! Until that moment I didn't realize how bad it was.

[jtuck004]

16. Don't want to get too much going at once, but putting some hot dog bits in your mouth,

or even turkey cubes, pretending to chew gum, and then spitting them out for the dog might ease his tension over that.

Someone else suggested walks, which reminded me of a lab I worked with who changed a bit for the better after an obedience class, but really came out of her shell when we enrolled her in agility.

Good luck, however, and let us know what happens.

[IrishAyes]

8. Wow, a great OP and excellent responses! Now I have a few new tricks up my sleeve too.

LQ, can you also try crating S in Maple's presence? Most of the dog catalogs sell a Relora effuser to help the pets relax, and S might even benefit from a thundershirt. They can be pricey, so here's an excellent alternative: ace bandage wraps!

Keep us posted how it goes.

Just an aside here: I've read and often been told that JRTs are not prone to accept new four legged family members, and I can believe it. Luckily for me, Brigid was a tiny waif when she arrived and already had a mini beagle/pom sister waiting for her. Molly's naturally affectionate and gentle, and I could tell by the way she watched other dogs in the neighborhood that she was lonesome. So Brigid got a lot of mothering from Molly Maguire and me both. Now that Brigid's almost grown, she's assumed alpha status but she already has devotion in place, so she doesn't abuse it. Those two look and sound as if they're having a savage fight, but it's all for show. They take turns being 'it' during those play fights, too, so I don't worry at all.

However it shakes out, I'm sure you're doing a great job.

[laundry_queen]

14. hm. I don't have a big enough crate for S.

I'll have to ask my parents to dig one out next time - I'm sure they'll have one. I've heard of weighted vests for neurotic dogs and S could probably use one - I'll mention it to my mom, since she can afford it while things are tight for me at the moment. I think a big part of the problem is my parents really spoil him, so they let bad behaviors go and then he develops weird neurotic fears (I mentioned in another post in this thread, I cannot chew gum around him, he totally freaks out). He's usually good with me (except for the gum chewing) and is well behaved because I'm very strict. I don't think it's by accident that my dogs have always been calm, while my parents' dogs have always been neurotic. S is much better than their last dog though. She was afraid of wrapping paper which made Christmas torture for her, poor pup.

I totally KWIM about the sounds while they are 'playing'...my old dog who passed 5 years ago loved to play with my parents' other dog and it sounded like they were going to kill each other but then they'd tucker out and go have a nap together all snuggly (mind you they WERE related, uncle and niece). That's not what is happening here - they seem to be playing in the same manner, but then S gets aggressive so Maple right away cowers and acts submissive and S runs away to hide. It's so weird. I think he WANTS to play, but then his fear takes over after a bit. He has nipped her before too. S has never been a very playful dog - even as a tiny puppy - he's more content to sit on your lap. Maybe he just hates the playing and when Maple calms down he'll get better.

[IrishAyes]

17. Considering my set, I was glad to see the alpha status switch go smoothly.

They're outdoors most of the time in fine weather, but in 8 months Brigid has only wet indoors 3 times. That's pretty good for a rescue puppy 3 months old on arrival and already set in her ways to a degree. After a lot of reflection, though, I've realized those 3 deliberate misbehaviors - one just after coming in! - happened around the time she started to challenge her smaller sister's rule. So it might not have had anything to do with deliberate defiance of me from a normally eager to please dog. It might've been directed more at Molly as a hierarchy lesson. Hasn't happened since, either.

Otherwise, when Brigid got home all woozy after being spayed, Molly washed her face so much I was afraid she'd lick the fur off!

[Walk away]

9. I recommend close walks together everyday, two or three times a day.

Be ready to go go go. Snap their leashes on and get out the door right away. If they even look at each other urge them on. Run a little if you have to. Keep them moving forward. It isn't a bathroom run it's about going out as a team and focusing on the task at hand. As they start to settle in to the job try holding both leashes in the same hand so that they are closer together and keep them moving forward. When they are tired, stop and let them lay down to rest then walk them home the same way.
Try it for a week.

[laundry_queen]

10. Thanks :)

We've done walks, but not focused walks like you say.

I walk my daughter to the bus stop every day so maybe I'll take them both together tomorrow. We walk pretty fast to get there on time, so that will help. I don't have a whole week though, S is going home on Saturday, so the next 3 days will have to do. Thanks for the advice!

[Walk away]

13. Also...lots of obedience work side by side. It helps them refocus.

In our training classes we always put the dog that didn't get along side by side. When they are working they raise to the challenge.

[laundry_queen]

18. UPDATE

Well, S has gone home for now. Walking them together seemed to really help and also, I began to praise him whenever he paid the least little bit of attention to Maple. By the time my parents came to pick him up, he had stopped running away from Maple so much and they even spent some time sleeping together on my bed at night. I think having them both on my bed at night helped too (previously Maple slept in her kennel before she was potty trained). Because S doesn't live here, there will probably be some backsliding since I may not see him for more than a few hours at a time every week but at least now I know next time I dog sit (this January) I'll know what to implement right from the start. So thank you everyone for your help!