the lessons we learn from pets.

[mopinko]

in some ways i dont even understand my own decision to be a hospice volunteer. of all the things i could lend my time to, there are many that make more sense than what i do.
many of the other volunteers do it out of gratitude for a loved one that received hospice care. what i do know is that it came out of my admiration for a du'er who is a pediatric field nurse for the org i work for.
i have a kid who had very frightening health problems. tho we never heard those awful words, i spent a lot of time in the halls of the children's hospital, in dread of being told that my child might die.

but talking to another volunteer this weekend, one thing i said is- i do not fear death, for myself or loved ones who have had a long, good life, or who have suffered too long. i lost my sister recently after a decades long fight w ms. i have sadness, but mostly relief that her suffering, and her incredibly crappy quality of life, is over.
and the thing that occurred to me as it came out of my mouth was- it comes of having had a life filled w critters. it taught me both that death can be so random, and that one of the most solemn responsibilities of a pet owner is to decide when suffering and quality of life outweighs life itself.
this didnt make me callous about that decision. it made me empathetic to those who face that choice themselves.

i think that is a rare gift, and one that i should share.
and so here i am.

[irisblue]

1. Hardest & harshest thing I've done.

Sucks.

[mopinko]

3. at my age, and w the number of critters in my family,

i wouldnt say i am used to it, but i accept it. that doesnt make it easier, but it does take away some of the dilemma. i have already wrestled w it, and dont beat myself up about it.

and i have a couple stories about what can happen if you wait too long.

[KT2000]

2. Just read an excellent book

Life After the Diagnosis by Steven Pantilat, MD

Hospice is a part of it but it also includes the process of making treatment decisions after the diagnosis. He is a specialist in palliative care. Pets have taught us about that too. Even when there are treatments, they can destroy what is left of quality of life for more time - but for whom? Anyway - it is a good read with lots of assistance for organizing one's thoughts at a difficult time.

[TeapotInATempest]

4. I had to make that decision this morning.

Thank you so much for volunteering your time and kindness.

RIP little Chloe cat, fearless spirit and fierce warrior until the very last.

[mopinko]

5. aw. chloe.

as comfortable as i am w the fact that you take on that decision the moment you bring an animal home, it never gets easier.
when i had to put down my 12 yr old boxer, puddy, i cried harder than i cried at some funerals for people. even tho she was 12, it all happened fast, and it was a hard one to decide.