Changing our will

[SHRED]

I have rightwing son in-laws unfortunately.
My spouse and I will meet with our estate planner to go over our wills soon to see if we can cut them out of any inheritance.

Have any of you fellow baby boomers done this?

There are grandkids also.

[Floyd R. Turbo]

1. Few years ago. Cut out my entire family except my daughter.

[calimary]

2. Ask about a "skip-a-generation" trust.

That’s how friends of mine got screwed by their wealthy parents. At least the inheritance stayed in the family - and went to the grandchildren. One friend had a dad who was married to the mom but kept a girlfriend in the side. My friend was always fearful that the girlfriend would wind up with the goods. Fortunately that’s not how it worked out. The inheritance got mostly locked up in skip-a-generation trusts. The sons and daughters got screwed, but their kids didn’t.

[SHRED]

6. I'm seriously considering this...thanks

[3Hotdogs]

3. Is it to be a high valued estate? Several thoughts.

Are you in your 60's or above? Have you visited an elder law attorney?

You don't have to list the s-i-ls as heirs but if you will everything to your daughters, they most likely will have access.

Is there enough money for a trust?

[SHRED]

5. We have a trust

It is high value.
I'm 60.

[blueinredohio]

4. We were just talking about this.

My daughter used to be pretty liberal but the longer she is married to her husband the more right leaning she is becoming. My son in law won't admit he voted for Trump but defends him every chance he gets. The more I talk to him the less I like him. My daughter and I argued about the "concentration camps" yesterday. I don't like what is happening to her and I'm thinking of leaving it to the grandkids. I also had her as executor and I'm changing that too.

[Moostache]

7. Donate the estate to the ACLU...we're gonna need them a lot more soon. (n/t)

[Frustratedlady]

8. I know it is tempting, but you might consider the consequences.

For one, I just updated my Will and everything will be divided among the three kids. One is a Republican, but I couldn't cut him out for that...much as I hate Republicans right about now. One daughter rarely contacts me except at my birthday and Christmas. That phone call usually lasts 5 minutes or so. That one is who I have been tempted to leave out. The third has most of the load and does the most for/with me. I am included in most family gatherings; not the same with the other daughter.

I say the above because the one who deserves the most is the most vehement about being equal. She would be the one to pay if the others were upset that she received more than they. Since there is such a big difference between size of families, I asked them to make the decision of how much their children or grandchildren would receive. They can gift accordingly. It isn't fair to the family with one if the family with six kids get the same amount each.

My sils aren't named at all. This is simply between the siblings and me. But, you are right that they will have access to it unless you put it in some kind of trust. Even then...

[SHRED]

10. These aren't my spouse's children

She'll most likely leave her half to charity.

This is a terrible time we live in.

[Frustratedlady]

14. Didn't mean to be confusing. I was referring to grandchildren and great-grandchildren.

Of the three, one has one, one has three and one has six. It wouldn't be fair to give the same amount to each grand/great-grand. So, they can take their third and divide it however between their children and grandchildren. It will also show if they are generous or cheap.

Fortunately, none of my kids need the money. Hopefully, they will use it to give their kids/grandkids a boost. I know two will...not sure about the third.

[keithbvadu2]

9. I have heard folks say to leave $100 each rather than leave them out.

I have heard folks say to leave $100 each rather than leave them out.

They cannot claim that they are owed an equal share by being left out.

[happynewyear]

19. yup

You more or less have to leave any direct blood relatives something.

I believe $100 might CYA.

Best to check with an attorney.

[Capperdan]

11. Sorry but this is real weird

Changing your will because of politics? You should try communicating. Family is about love.

[SHRED]

12. You can't communicate politically with someone...

...who posts this on FB knowing who we are and that we will see it. Many more posts like this also.

We refuse to leave anything to him.
There has to be a way.

[onecaliberal]

13. I took my oldest daughter out, she was also my executor. She married an evangelical 5 years ago.

I feel as though I need to protect the rest of my children from her in a sense. We left a little to the grands, but not her. I love her, but I do not trust her and do not recognize the child my husband and I raised.

[lunasun]

16. What makes you think his kids wouldn't spend all the money on nazi propaganda when they

get your money ? Are they of completely different ideology ? Seems the younger ones raised that way are more aggressive to adopt this wave.

[safeinOhio]

15. A friend at work got pissed at his two sons and

cut them out of his will. A week after he had the lawyer write it up he was killed in a car accident and had not yet gone in to sign it.

[happynewyear]

17. That happened to my uncle!

My uncle and my father got into a big fight as he was going to write him out of his will. My father basically told him to F off.

He was set to draw up his new will the following Monday. He went to a parade the night before and dropped dead of a heart attack.

He did not live to do his evil deed.

I remember hearing a lot of "God's will" comments after it occurred.

Live and learn perhaps.

[Croney]

18. I'm worried about this issue too.

Anything I leave my son, his RWNJ wife will claim that it was GOD'S WILL that I die and give them money! But their kids have kids and the kids are not to blame. My three daughters are a little better, and they have kids too. So skipping a generation sounds good to me. The RWNJ can be glad I'm dead, but she can't take that to the bank and spend it on a new MAGA hat.

[happynewyear]

20. GOD'S WILL

Seen enough of GOD'S WILL in my life to know better!

[sinkingfeeling]

21. There's no law that you have to leave your estate to your kids or

grandkids. I'm single, have one son and one granddaughter. I intend to leave half to my son and pay for his kid's college. The rest goes to my causes.

[Hoyt]

22. Had an estate tax professor who said he strongly advised against punishing family in death.

I kind of agree, although I understand where you are coming from too and it's your stuff and family.

[calimary]

23. For everybody on this thread, just one thing to keep in mind.

It’s YOUR money. It’s YOUR decision what you want to do with it or who (or what) you want to leave it to. Period.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

24. Yes, it is your money and you can leave it to whomever you please.

With some possible exceptions. I believe some states do not allow you to completely disinherit certain people, like a spouse, maybe children. An estate planner will know the laws in your state.

I recently updated all my legal paperwork because of a death in the family. It is important to keep on top of changes that occur because of such things.

I don't have any right-wing children or grandchildren, lucky me.

[Dr Kak]

25. Spend it all

Book a round the world cruise and blow the lot on wine women and song.

[marble falls]

33. I knew a Dr Kak on the old Abuzz site - any chance?

[marble falls]

35. What if his wife objects to wine, women and song?

[dameatball]

26. I always figured I could go back to my lawyer and have him re-write my will. Maybe I'm wrong.

Not that I had any plans to do it.

[redstatebluegirl]

27. We did it but we don't have kids just nieces and nephews.

I cut one out due to his right wing thinking. I don't want any of my money given to the right wing when I'm gone. I left him a dollar and that was it. Our attorney told us to leave him something because it made it harder for him to contest.

[littlemissmartypants]

28. I was going to say. Start a trust. But I see it's already been mentioned.

I hope it works out for you.

♡ lmsp

[MontanaMama]

29. I have two siblings.

My parents split their estate 40/40/20...leaving 40% to my sister and to me. They left 20% to my brother who is a RWNJ and a full on psychopath who treated them horribly and was physically abusive to my sister, me and our pets. They chose not to leave him out but not reward his bullshit either. After they died and my brother found out about the will, he made noises about contesting the will but we hired an attorney that put the brakes on that. The will was iron clad. I say do what you want with your money. Don't reward assholes.

[no_hypocrisy]

30. My father changed his Will 10 times in 10 years.

And each time, he disinherited me and my siblings.

At least he loved us all the same . . . . .

And even though he died with a $1.5 million estate, he found $35,000 to bequeath to the neighbor across the street.

[dawg day]

31. Leave money to your grandchildren

Also, you could set up a trust for your daughters for them to get when they're 65 or so. That would give them a little protection late in life.

My children, fortunately, didn't rebel and become rightwingers.

But you can help your whole family with generation skipping so that your grandchildren have $ for college or getting started in life. And the fathers can't take the money, as they could if you left it to your daughters.

[dawg day]

32. You could also leave a big chunk to a good liberal cause (maybe in the names of the in-laws ;)

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

34. To everyone reading this,

if you haven't already, MAKE A WILL!!! And yes, I know I'm shouting.

Even if you have no money, or assets worth much of anything, you probably have possessions that are very meaningful to you and to some of those around you. You want to make it clear how you want those things divided up, or sold and the proceeds shared, or whatever you'd prefer. I keep on hearing people say, "Oh, it doesn't matter." Or, "I don't care, they can fight over it if they want." In reality, if you die without a will the state you live in determines how your assets are divided.

Heck, I not only redid my will recently, but I sent copies of it and other pertinent stuff to the two people who will be in charge of settling my estate, such as it is. I've decided that the more they know, the better off they will be and the easier it will be to take care of anything when I'm gone.

And don't forget that as time goes by you will probably need to update things. A death, a marriage, a divorce, or a birth in the family should trigger revisiting your will.

[CountAllVotes]

36. What if?

What if all of your relatives are pukes?

I don't want any of them to get anything!

What if you do not have an executor? That is my problem. No executor!

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

37. Then you absolutely need a will, otherwise

what you have WILL go to the relatives.

Surely you have some relative you trust? Or a good friend?

If not, you can have a financial institution be the executor. Or an attorney. Maybe not the same one who draws up the will, but another one, perhaps in the same law firm. Find a good estate attorney and have a discussion about this.

[CountAllVotes]

38. I have

Was going to appoint said lawyer as the executor.

Paid over $500 for this.

In the end, the lawyer disappered and no will.

Kinda sad isn't it.

What abt. these legal ins. plans? Any good do you happen to know?

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

39. You may need to do a bit more research

on lawyers before you select another one. Plus, you should never pay up front for something like this. You pay when you have the completed will in your hands.

I honestly don't know about legal insurance plans, other than they can be a good idea in some cases. Again, you need to do research.

Depending on where you live, librarians are an amazing resource. Ask one at your local library to point you in the direction of how to go about making a simple will in your state. It may be possible to simply fill out some boilerplate forms and be done. It is crucial that the will be witnessed, and the witnesses do not have to be people you know. Good attorneys have people they can call on. If they are part of a multi-attorney law firm, typically the employees there serve as witnesses.

A quick "Making a will" google search came up with tons of good information. Each state has slightly different requirements, so you want to be aware of that.

Best of luck to you. Making a will can seem scary, because it's an absolute acknowledgement that you'll die. I've actually gone through it four different times now: once early in our marriage, once when our financial situation changed significantly, and after our divorce and relocation to another state. It gets easier each time.

[llmart]

40. Suze Orman has forms online at a nominal cost.

Most people can do their own trust/will, etc. but they get intimated by legal forms. I worked in a law library, so recommending a librarian is a good start, but I would say go to a law library. Most librarians in a law school library have to have a law degree. Public librarians aren't as versed in legal research. I've done my own forms.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

41. On line forms can be problematical.

They will be okay in some states, not okay in others.

As you pointed out, librarians in a law school library will know about such things.

Also, your local bar association may well have a library and that's another good place to start.

What I REALLY want to get across to people is NOT to leave it to chance, or the vagaries of your state's laws. Make a will. If you want to leave whatever you have to anyone other than your blood kin, do so. Oh, and revisit your will and estate plan every so often, especially when a death, a marriage, a divorce, or the birth of a child happens.