Getting depressed. I have my dream but....

[OnionPatch]

I grew up on a farm but ended up living in cities for my work in IT. I never wanted to live in a city. I'm a country girl at heart. I've lived as rural as my job commute allowed, and have had chickens and gardens, etc. but now that I'm finally retired I bought a beautiful home way out in the country. I have eight acres nestled in the mountains. It's been my dream come true.

...Until election season arrived and I realized I am surrounded by people with whom I have nothing in common except our proximity. Every one of my neighbors has a Trump sign. I mean every single one of them for miles. A very sweet couple live across the road and have been friendly and helpful but like all the others around here, they are evangelical Christians. It's so hard to reconcile their sweet personalities and their religion to the man they support for president. I will always be polite and friendly to my neighbors, but I see no chance of ever finding close friends among them. And to be honest, I worry they would turn against me if they knew just how very liberal I really am.

I've seen the political maps of blue and red. Supposedly Biden got 35% of the vote in our precinct, so at least 35% of the local voters are sane. But how in the world do I meet them? I'm guessing they lay low like I do in these parts. (I'd be terrified to put a Harris/Walz sign out.) I do go to the local towns for outings and recreation, and they are much more liberal there, but I sure would like to know my left-leaning rural neighbors.

Sorry for rambling but my question is...How do you all meet other rural liberals? Also, how do you manage being surrounded so completely with hardcore conservatives? I'm actually considering moving to Vermont or somewhere there are more rural Democrats.

[ramen]

1. I would look for the cultural activities that draw from the left

Nothing is a monolith but I am in a rural part of a purple state.. music, art, sustainability, some types of volunteering, small breweries, restaurants with great food, etc tend to lean left here. Some faith groups (Unitarians, UCC, etc) also lean left, so if you are part of any of that then that could also be an inroad.

[OnionPatch]

4. These are good ideas. Thanks.

I have gone to Unitarian churches before and like them. There is one 25 minutes from here that I plan to visit soon.

You're probably right using the word "inroads" since it's pretty clear I'm not going to meet any liberals at my fenceline, lol. But yes, maybe I'll meet some in town who do live out this way or know others libs who do. I've been so busy getting my home fixed the way I want that I haven't done enough socializing in town. Winter is a good time to hang up the farm tools and get out more.

[radical noodle]

2. Does your county have a Democratic group?

It's hard in a rural county, but sometimes you'll find one. Or perhaps you could start one. Or look for a more liberal church in the area to find like minded people. Maybe look in a nearby county with a bigger town/city where there are more possibilities, particularly in a college/university town. You might actually find people from your area who are going there for liberal/Democratic groups and churches.

[OnionPatch]

7. There is a college town nearby

I'm actually not too far from UVA in Charlottesville. I go there for shopping, festivals and restaurants but haven't met anyone. Churches are better for actually talking to and meeting people I guess, but I'm not religious. I think the Unitarian Church would be ok, though. I should get down there soon. If Trump wins, I'm going to need emotional support anyway.

[radical noodle]

12. The Unitarian Church is a great option

for meeting people and talking to them without quite as much focus on raw religion. You need to spend more time in Charlottesville, look for activities that probably attract liberals.

BTW, I'm not religious either, but churches are a great stepping stone to other things. More liberal churches might share your values, even if you aren't into the religious aspect.

[rurallib]

15. The county Democratic Party probably has a website online - Google the county Democratic Party

If they don't have a website, they most likely have a Facebook presence. With either of those there is probably a phone number or email address. Most likely they probably have monthly meeting times. Contact them

Most Democrats love to make new friends

[intheflow]

20. Former UU minister turned librarian, here.

In addition to the UU church, you might also try the public library. I know Charlottesville has a fantastic library system. I was looking for jobs down there when I graduated in 2019, and as I recall, the whole State Library system is great, so even your rural library might be pretty good. Check out what books their book clubs are reading, or what other kinds of adult programming they have.

[EverHopeful]

3. The book High Conflict: How we get stuck and how we get out by Amanda Ripley

helped me a bit in talking with a RW cousin but we live miles apart and pretty sure I'm not brave enough to try talking to full-on MAGAs face to face. Might offer some help though if your dream home is surrounded by them.

Edited to recommend Steven Hassan's work. Here is a link to his website.

https://freedomofmind.com/

[OnionPatch]

13. I'm going to look into that book, thanks!

I've been wanting to read more about why we are where we are. I grew up in rural Ohio on a farm and I remember the rural people being pretty split between Dems and Repubs. How in the world did it get so politically homogenous in rural areas? How does it happen that every single person thinks the same way? It's kind of blowing my mind. Especially having lived in California for 25 years. Call them loonies, but at least people have some original thought out there.

[ArkansasDemocrat1]

23. Faux on cable and H8 Radio

[OnionPatch]

37. I remember when hate radio began.

It was Rush Limbaugh in those days. Most people, including Republicans, thought he was whacko at the time. But I had a foreboding feeling that it was the beginning of a very ugly turn in politics, and remember thinking "nothing good will come of this." I watched as slowly his angry, warped ideas crept through all of AM radio and beyond. I sometimes feel like I don't know my fellow Americans anymore.

[jcgoldie]

5. don't stress over meeting rural liberals

Go into town find a nice coffee shop or diner that isn't full of conservative jerks to do your socializing. I frequent the local elevator and hay auction every week through the winter and I wear my obama or beto or liz warren caps or whatever just to piss them off. They accept it begrudgingly when I buy hay the auctioneer will joke and ask to see my birth certificate.

[OnionPatch]

9. I wish I was that brave.

That's awesome. I'd love to put a huge Harris/Walz sign out front to stick out like a sore thumb and piss them all off. But I'm already an outsider; a newcomer from the "city". They all know I moved here from California, too, so they already have points against me in their minds.

I was stunned at the attitudes against California when we moved from there. I didn't realize people had such a hostile attitude toward Californians. People are always asking if I left because of the "loonies." I actually moved back east to care for my aging parents, but wildfires were my biggest concern living out there. I actually miss the politics and the so-called loonies! Virginia is gorgeous but I'm having some problems adjusting to the conservative culture here. You've encouraged me to get out more though, though. Thanks.

[Old Okie]

21. California

Fox and right wing media have been demonizing California for decades as some sort of dystopian place; my 13 year old grandson in Texas was complaining about Californians moving there. I had to remind him his Father was born there.

[OnionPatch]

24. It's bizarre. There are all kinds of people in California.

In most places they look and act pretty much like everyone else, with just a bit more diversity. And a whole lot friendlier, if you ask me. I tell people I loved California and miss it. Screw them.

[CrispyQ]

34. I have the perfect sign for you! It will blend in with all the others & they may not even notice what it says!

I like the suggestions to get involved with your local dem headquarters & to find or start a book club. As for Californians, my state is kind of guilty of CA-hate, too. CA & TX, both. Back in the mid-70s TX wanted to buy a bunch of land in CO for a Texas State Park. It didn't go over well in CO.

[jcgoldie]

6. Local Farmer's market

Just thought of that one my wife sells goats milk soap and honey at the farmer's market all summer. There's a lot of evangelical christian fuckers but also some very progressive creative hippy types in those circles.

[OnionPatch]

10. The farmer's market! Yes.

I need to get to the farmer's markets, for sure. I may even have things to sell there eventually.

[70sEraVet]

8. My wife and I are in a similar situation.

After retirement, we moved from Nashville to a very tiny rural town in Tennessee. We genuinely enjoy the town and our neighbors, but of course, we don't align politically with most of them.
We put out our political signs, but we avoid heavy, contentious conversations. We have talked to several people who are involved with our county Democratic Party -- we plan to become more involved there.
I've become the unofficial caretaker of an African American cemetery in town, and aside from physically working at the cemetery, I have been researching the people who are buried there. This work puts me in contact with many of the local black families, who are grateful that someone is documenting their family histories. Most of those families have good reason to fear the right-ward swing of our country.
Just get along with those neighbors who are going to vote differently than you, and find a way to reach out for those who DO share your political views.

[OnionPatch]

11. I wish you lived near me! I love local history and genealogy.

And it would just feel good to have even one or two like-minded people nearby, but yes, I need to get out more, I realize from reading the answers to this post. I should also not be so timid to express my views. I'm never contentious, I just fear meeting up with those who are.

[RainCaster]

14. we are libs in a red rural area

But we know all our immediate neighbors, and most of them are blue like us. We stay quiet, no bumper stickers or banners, no signs in our yards. But we all vote blue 💙💙💙.

[rubbersole]

16. A year from now...

...your neighbors will probably deny ever supporting the treasonous loser. Kinda goes with the territory. Shallow in, shallow out.

[TBF]

17. It's pretty much the same here for me -

we came to Texas for my spouse's job. I have never fit in ... I do know there are local democratic clubs, though. If I were more social I'd go visit there and try their meetings/activities to meet people. Mostly I've just taken care of my kids and started plotting where we can go for retirement. We are in the suburbs of a big city, though, so I'm not sure what you would have in your area.

[Kali]

18. Being naturally antisocial helps

You can get involved with local party to meet other Democrats. As for the neighbors, I just try to be a good example. The one good liberal they know.

[appleannie1]

19. Most counties have a Dem headquarters.

They usually have meetings, do lunches together etc. That would be a good place to start. It took me years after I moved to the country to find a group of people that thought like me. It was through a Dem office. Good luck.

[OnionPatch]

26. I really should do that, thanks.

I belonged to a Dem club in California and got so sucked in to all the volunteering for years that I burned myself out. I don't have the energy to much of that anymore, but I tend to forget they do a lot of socializing. If I can just avoid ending up on a committee or something, lol.

[appleannie1]

41. I am doing volunteer work for the election here.

I get to do my own hours. Today I arrived at almost 1:00 and left at 5:00. If I show up, I do office work if they need me to. I told them I would rather do that sort of thing instead of phoning people. I might be a poll watcher on election day too. Other than that, if I feel like going to the monthly lunch and don't have anything else planned, I will show up. Like you, I don't want to be counted on for doing everything. I had enough of that when I was homeroom mother for 7 kids. Once I was told I had to make the cookies, I quit doing it.

[murielm99]

22. Look for your county Democrats.

If there is not a group, start one. Work with the state Democrats. We did not have a county party here until 1973. A wealthy farmer started the group, a most unlikely Democrat.

We have a group in my area that is loosely affiliated with Indivisible, and another small group that is Indivisible. They get help from the more urban areas. Even if you don't like all the participants, don't give up. It took time for things to change here. Now we have a state senate candidate whose race is competitive.

[OnionPatch]

27. I will, thanks.

I had rejected that idea because I don't have the energy for much volunteer work, but I can at least go to their presentations and such.

[murielm99]

29. Right now I have no energy for anything.

I have long covid and serious shortness of breath. When I am well, I knock on doors and make phone calls. Of course I go to meetings. I am a precinct comittee person. Right now all I can do is make phone calls and do post cards. When I get well, I will be more active again.

[ArkansasDemocrat1]

25. Welcome to my world

At least I live in a purple city with the opportunity to meet like minded folk.

[OnionPatch]

28. Arkansas is beautiful

I vacationed in the Ozarks a few times.

I love rural living so much but I wish the people were more diverse. I don't understand why more liberals don't want to live out here in this unbelievable beauty. Virginia usually goes blue in the general election, though, so at least I have that.

[ArkansasDemocrat1]

30. There are beautiful places here

They usually have a Dollar General next door. 😂

[1WorldHope]

31. My husband and I just visited Sana Fe.

If felt so good to be surrounded by people who were happy, friendly, open, patient... I could go on and on. What a sweet place.
My sister did what you did and moved to Western NC. She is near enough to Ashville to get those needs met. But, I think the thing with neighbors is that if you are kind and helpful, but avoid talking politics and religion, then you can coexist. And they would save your life if you needed it.
My daughter moved to the brightest red place in NE. She is the local massage therapist. They all know who she is and they all love her. She is always friendly, kind and respectful to them. It probably helps that she sees many of them almost naked. 😛
But, it sure would be nice to not have that huge barrier everyday.
I'm not like my sister or daughter, if I could, and it was my dream to live in the country surrounded by liberals, I would move. Although, it must be said, not all liberals are likeable or friendly.
So, I'm a whole lot of no help for you. 🙄

[brakester]

36. Good comment, 1WorldHope!

But, I think the thing with neighbors is that if you are kind and helpful, but avoid talking politics and religion, then you can coexist. And they would save your life if you needed it.

We live in the country and are pretty well surrounded by conservative Christians. There's mainly one family that we hang out with and I can't imagine how poorly life would be without them. We rely on each other. They are true Christians and our friendship has enriched both our families.
Like the 1WorldHope says, just skip certain subjects, and there you go! blockades removed! Then be generous, helpful and interested in their lives. The father has this genuine spiel when introducing himself, too. He says whenever you need a hand, I'm always willing to help out if I can. He's a skilled small engine mechanic and people from all around bring stuff to him to fix. He won't take money. They aren't "transactional" like the felon running for resident; it's a beautiful tradition of generosity and good will.
We rarely visit empty handed.

[OnionPatch]

38. True that not all liberals are likeable, lol.

I know a handful that aren't likeable at all. Still, it's nice to know if there were a civil war, they'd be on your side, heh heh.

[kerouac2]

32. Our public library usually has progressive folks

I'm surrounded by trumpers. Only Good thing about trump is that the lawn signs show me where the awful people live. Because, like you said, they can seem like sane sweet folks in the outside. They are not.

[Keepthesoulalive]

33. Move near a college town

I live about 40 miles from a major university. Some of my neighbors are trumpers but overall we consistently vote blue. State of the art hospital and a thriving Democratic Party also a great farmers market. Look up your local Democratic Party and you can start making connections.

[OnionPatch]

39. I live near two major universities.

UVA in Charlottesville, and JMU in Harrisonburg. I can get to either town within about a half an hour. I know I can meet more like-minded people there and will make it a point to get out more to events and such there. I'm just kind of sad that every single neighbor likes Trump enough to actually put a sign in their yard. I had hoped at least a couple homes in my neighborhood would differ.

Maybe it's just culture shock; I lived in California for 25 years. It was a purple area, though, and I didn't think it was all that different from mainstream American.

[Keepthesoulalive]

40. If you live over the Blue Ridge

Someone told me they are still fighting the civil war. Albemarle county is a liberal enclave but it is damned expensive. Gloria Witt is our candidate and I think she’s wonderful. The Albemarle Democratic Party is a good place to start. Cville is a nice college town with concerts, fairly nice restaurants not like California or New York but acceptable, Wegman’s if you rob a bank ,Alamo drafthouse theater . We value our green space and fight to keep development from moving south. Some of the surrounding counties are a little backwards but we are working on them.
Try not to lose hope , farming is a tough job and we are grateful for the people that supply our food.

[OnionPatch]

42. Thanks. I am in Augusta County.

Believe me, I would be living near Charlottesville if I could afford what I wanted there. I’m just glad I can drive there easily.

[Keepthesoulalive]

43. I'm in southern Albemarle

Meth , drugs and alcohol. If you go out on Friday or Saturday assume that many of the people on the highway are intoxicated. Most don’t vote but they have helped us learn survival skills. There are some very dedicated democrats in your district but we are so heavily gerrymandered they have not been able to win. For many republicans in your area it is a habit and not a calling. Don’t give up you are in one of the most beautiful areas of Virginia and Mother Nature is flashing her colors. People spend money to see the changing season for us it’s free.

[OnionPatch]

44. It truly is beautiful

Thanks. I've loved this area my whole life and am so glad to finally be here. The foliage behind my house is incredible right now with the mountains in the background.

I probably need to just get out more. Just seeing all the Trump signs popped up around me kind of freaked me out.

[Keepthesoulalive]

45. Drive the Blue Ridge parkway.

It is very relaxing and stop at the different ranger stations for history and sometimes entertainment.
My purse is always lighter when I stop at the gift shops. The trumpers are loud here but they always lose. I will probably need surgery on my middle finger.

[rockbluff botanist]

35. We are in the same situation

I assume the trump trash in my very rural Florida panhandle county considered us just better spoken trump trash until I made a full sheet plywood sign for OBAMA. Amazingly, no one ever shot it. Once people know you, it makes it harder to do damage.

My husband, a former submarine sailor, put out Harris signs that say " Veterans are not suckers or losers!!! Harris/Walz.

I think trump trash are conflicted by the mention of veterans. Try one of those signs.