Our cohort is dying/dementing

[cyclonefence]

My husband's younger brother died unexpectedly right after Thanksgiving. He was 75 and the only member of the family who seems to have dodged the asshole gene (my husband was only slightly affected and has too many other good qualities to be the asshole the rest of them are). He graduated Phi Beta Kappa from Princeton, and his senior thesis, on Samuel Beckett, was published. He was funny as hell and a joy to be with.

We had husband's older brother (81) for Christmas and it's a miracle of Jesus' birth that we didn't murder him. He is losing his marbles as well as physically deteriorating. We had him come to us by train (he lives about a 5-hour drive away) because his wife died in September, and we didn't want him driving alone. She was 93, and we didn't realize how much he relied on her until we got him here without her. He broke our Stair-Lift (we got one for him after his wife died because he kept falling down the stairs, and now I wonder if his stair lift works) and wouldn't stay out of our 8x10 kitchen so we could prepare Christmas dinner. He drank a bottle of vodka and a bottle of Canadian Club (he was here for five days) and argued with me about where the sports channels were on our TV.

I had diarrhea from the day he arrived until the day he left. Their sister, 75, drove him back home. No more train because when he arrived here, he wandered through the station for an hour before we could find him.

Despairing for the world because the young folks don't seem to care enough to protest *anything*. They're upset because they can't afford to buy a house. They don't seem to care that there are people in our community who don't have any kind of shelter, much less a house they own, or even enough to eat. While young folk order everything--even toilet paper--and pay outrageously for food they could make at home, they don't understand why they can't get together enough money to make a down payment.

But happy new year, everybody. I wonder for how many of us this is our last year.

[skylucy]

1. You have quite the flair for writing! Thank you for making me glad that my husband and I

just went out to dinner with a friend on Christmas.

[HeartachesNhangovers]

2. I'm 64 and I've started to experience it. My brother-in-lay is 76 and he has obvious cognitive issues.

He's also become unsteady on his feet, having fallen a couple of times this year. My poor sister is still able to get out to do some activities on her own - line dancing, etc, but she doesn't trust him to be on his own overnight, so they always travel together, even though he's tough to be around. He gets stuck on a couple of topics that he's obsessed with, and he has to take a steroid ashthma inhaler that makes him super-aggressive, so if you don't immediately agree with him about whatever he's obsessed about, he gets angry about it. After each of the last four times we've gotten together, he's ended up apologizing afterwards for his behavior. I put up with it because I don't want my sister to get isolated because of him.

My main motivation in studing languages (currently Italian) and limiting my screen time is to hopefully keep my own brain reasonably healthy.

[usonian]

3. I am soon to be 77, and saddened by the decline of others. I work hard to stay sharp.

I won't brag (much), but I (obviously) post lots on DU, create (and steal) great graphics, photograph, and try to play classical piano pieces way above my skill level. It's the challenge.

Whatever you do, challenge yourself.

People watch music videos on YouTube. When I do, I focus on the pianist's hands to see how the hell they finger difficult passages.

Life is not a spectator sport. You play it.

Young people face a brutal world. Homes are unaffordable. I gave some of my "forget the palatial mansion" money to my daughter to get started. Better that I did it while still alive!!!

Young people will see the greatest transfer of wealth in history. After we're gone. I am not waiting.

And I am grateful every day for my health and wit still about me.