I'm stressing

[Marthe48]

Because my grand dog pulled me over in December, I made the decision to make some changes in my house to make it one floor living. The weather has delayed everything, but the project has been going forward. My daughter is helping me, depending on her schedule, which is very flexible. That's stressful. She tried to improve something when she was here, and repairs are ongoing. I ordered a washer and dryer that is due to be delivered Tuesday, and she just asked me if I'd change it to Wed. Why, I don't know. I planned since I bought it to be here on Tuesday. I want to be calm and flexible, but it's getting to me. I don't usually have things scheduled, but this week coming up I have a dr. appt. and the delivery. I expected the transition to one floor living would be easy, but it's not.

[DUgosh]

1. Keep it Tuesday!

Make it less stressful for YOU !

[Walleye]

2. Good luck with all that try and stay grounded in the present. Nothing is easy anymore.

[Trueblue Texan]

3. But at least you're making the transition while you are still standing on two feet!

The most important advice I gave to patients IMHO was to prepare for aging BEFORE they actually had to deal with it. Ramps, instead of steps, tub benches and walk in showers, wider hallways and doorways, grab bars--anywhere they make life safer, re-arranging closets, cupboards, garages for safe accessibility of items most used. Very important changes to make before our balance and strength becomes too compromised. Smart one you are for starting early. How to deal with your daughter? You know better than I do.

[Marthe48]

4. I want to make this as easy as possible for my kids

I'm still very mobile and present. I helped several of my adult relatives, and they had no plans for their elderly years. My husband and I planned to do this conversion. He's gone, and the event with the dog was a wake-up call to go ahead. My Mom lived with us, and we had some safety and mobility aids in place for her. Also had an O.T. come in and assess the living areas. Most everything is ready. It is just planning something, then changing it, or just waiting. The unexpected repair was a topper. I've already decided that for other work I need done, I'll hire someone.

Thanks so much for the advice and reminders

[Diamond_Dog]

7. How do you deal with a stubborn husband who thinks he will be 21 years old forever?

There are a few changes we could be making right now but he Pooh poohs me, he accuses me of believing he’s got one foot in the grave. This is a guy who gets up on a ladder to clean out gutters or repair a roof in his 70 s. He has actually fallen off the ladder twice. Undeterred, he keeps going. I ask that if he insists on getting up on a ladder, either wait until I am home or put his cell phone in his pocket. He does neither.

[biophile]

5. Any change is stressful. Allow yourself some grace and recognize that it will be a better future!

Good luck, take deep breaths, and I hope you find peace during this transition!

[Diamond_Dog]

6. Good luck, Marthe.

I know how it is to try and stay outwardly calm and flexible when inside you’re a bundle of anxiety.
I applaud your decision to make your home one floor. I have given this some thought as well, since neither one of us here are getting any younger, but Mr. Diamond gets all offended whenever I broach the subject- “What, you think I have one foot in the grave or something?” He is the type that never plans ahead for anything and I am very much a planner. Good luck getting your washer and dryer delivered and installed!

[Marthe48]

9. Thanks, DiamondDog

I'm willing to do this, but I feel like at least one kid is assuming I'm more frail (or whatever adjective) than I am. I'm only 73, but they act like I'm 83. In the last month, one of the kids bought an appliance bulb for the fridge. Had they asked, I have appliance bulbs, but that's not the problem. The other one was here to help clear the area where the w/d will be placed, noticed my bathroom sink drain was slow, so they took it apart to clean the stopper, and it wouldn't go back together. That was 3 days and 6 trips to hardware stores ago. Not fixed yet. Had they asked, I would've have said it's on the list, but one thing at a time please. I can only deal with one contractor at a time.

[LoisB]

8. I think you should maintain YOUR schedule. One task at a time, one day at a time.

[Marthe48]

10. The delivery is set for Tuesday

Thank you for the advice.

[LoisB]

12. Yay for you.

[Clouds Passing]

11. Hugs

Keep plugging away. It will be done. Deep breaths.