"Shit happens."
Last edited Fri Nov 13, 2015, 11:44 PM - Edit history (1)
How do we teach people to listen? How do we teach people to be patient and seek understanding, rather than reacting?
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We don't like to be wrong. Our brains interpret new information contradicting our expectations in such a way as to reinforce our current understanding. Our senses are wholly unreliable. It is a fascinating part of biology to me. I like understanding my blind spots, even if I remain blind. But most would rather rest in the thought that they have no blind spots; they believe it is better to be able to see all, even if their field of vision is rather narrow.
Privilege is blindness. It is separation. It is protection. The more privileged you are, the further you are from understanding those who are not. It is simpler to simply ignore the blindness than to overcome it, to challenge it.
We fear the unknown. It is the worst thing possible, because it could be anything. When we do not understand the unknown, when we have no context, the fear is compounded. When we are suddenly exposed to the unknown, we react. We defend ourselves without thinking. When our privilege is challenged for us, our reactions are even stronger.
When a PoC responds to black violence against whites by saying, "shit happens", that the white response is aggressive.
Edit: did not mean to refer to the PoC's response in this sentence. I meant to refer to the white response.
Speaking as a white man...
We have been taught that our lives matter.
We grow up in better houses with better things; with the media presenting us as the norm, the reality, the correct; with our education system teaching us that we have ruled and lived and conquered and discovered and been adored; with our lives not under threat of random, meaningless, senseless assault; with job offers, kindness, and sympathy; with dignity and respect.
We fear the unknown. We fear being blind, being wrong. For if we're wrong, we have lost everything we have been taught to long for. God, gold, and glory never died with the old conquistadors. We measure ourselves not by our achievements but by our privilege, and we're extraordinarily good at convincing ourselves we are the reason we have achieved our current state. We deserve it.
So who are you--a person with no history, no power--to tell me that I don't matter?
In this context of extreme white male resistance to cognizance of privilege, "shit happens" is not a statement of disregard for white life, but a statement of truth from another perspective. It is a blunt smack to the face in desperate hopes of attempting once again in almost futile frustration to get someone, just one person, to understand that "shit happens" is what we as whites say and live every single time a PoC is hurt again by our collective racism.
But to be told that our lives matter no more and no less than others is a direct challenge to every bit of what we have learned, what we tell ourselves, what we imagine to be true. So we react.
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So I have a question for this group. Given all the above, how do we bridge the gap of privilege? How do we get people to fight their own blind spots?
One of my favorite things about the BLM protest in Seattle last night is that they had the crowd chant, "We are all leaders here." We need to address our privilege ourselves, and wherever we see it. But how to convince people that it is of utmost importance?
How do we get white people to see and feel the desperation of black America?
How do we teach people to take a step back and examine what they hear, what they think?
How do we get Seattleites to pause and understand that we still perpetuate white superiority as white antiracists?
How do we, when told, "shit happens", understand that this is a reflection of ourselves?
How do we teach understanding?
= new reply since forum marked as read
It would turn into an example of 'what not to say when discussing race'. Somehow tears, denial, MLK, Bernie, Hilary and Stokely C. would get thrown into the conversation as it quickly veers and crashes off topic.
