Former Defense Secretary Bob Gates Slips, Falls On Knife 68 Times

[PDittie]

Former Defense Secretary Robert Gates is in critical-but-stable condition in Seattle-Tacoma General Hospital after a tragic accident in his home kitchen left him brutally stabbed multiple times, sources confirmed this morning.

Gates’ wife Becky found him lying on the floor of the family kitchen and called 911, according to a family spokesperson.

Investigators believe Gates, 70, slipped on an orange peel while preparing breakfast and fell onto a paring knife 68 times. Paramedics confirmed that while grabbing for a handhold to stabilize himself, he also accidentally discharged a 20-gauge shotgun into the back of his own head three times. At some point several minutes earlier, he also mistook arsenic for Equal, stirring the deadly poison into his morning tea.

http://www.duffelblog.com/2014/01/robert-gates-duty-book/#ixzz2pqcdJGcI

[grantcart]

1. you are posting a story who's punchline is intended to be an inference

that President Obama is going to have Gates murdered because of his book from a site that has many disparaging articles against Obama, why?

[PDittie]

3. Because it was funny

Maybe not to you....

[HERVEPA]

4. Probably not to anyone.

[PDittie]

5. Wrong.

It was funny to me. You missed that part?

[HERVEPA]

6. Meant other than you of course.

[PDittie]

7. Well if you can prove that statement

then you won't be wrong. Until that time, however...

[HERVEPA]

8. I'm still not wrong.

A basically unorigina;, unfunny, stock "joke", anti-Obama, not based on any policies of his you dislike, and nobody else offering you support here.

[PDittie]

9. It's your premise.

If you cannot or will not defend "nobody thinks" the joke is funny, that's fine with me.

But that makes your premise false, no matter what else you say.

[PDittie]

10. Here is precisely how wrong you are.

I will take your premise ("probably not anyone" other than me "thinks" the OP is funny) and defend the opposite of it ("someone besides me thinks it is funny&quot .

For the purpose of this discussion, "funny" is the generally accepted definition, as is "thinks". We might have also defined "anyone" as "anyone on DU", but since you chose not to do that... and since the generally accepted definition of "anyone" is anyone, that's the definition we'll be using.

At the OP there are 52 Facebook-linked comments, several of which meet the definition of thinking the joke is funny. (I stopped counting after a half-dozen.) We could quarrel about whether some people's approval can be translated as thinking the joke is funny, or split hairs in some other fashion, but the bottom line is that my premise has reached the threshold of adequate defense.

I could go on like this for some time longer, but honestly I get more amusement when I argue these sorts of things with Tea Partiers.

Can we stop now anyway?

[HERVEPA]

11. So you have some right wing friends on Facebook (no link of course).

[PDittie]

12. Sorry. Wrong again.

I have no right-wing-friends and only a few family members that meet that definition.

Want to take a run at some more alert-worthy personal insults?

[A Simple Game]

13. Yes you are wrong. OK maybe it's not original but I found it funny.

The only reason it could be anti-Obama is because of you. There is no mention of President Obama, or any other Obama, in the OP. You are the one that brought up "Obama". By the way, most on DU would refer to "Obama" as President Obama, but as you so rudely show, it is not mandatory.

Oh yes, I am offering my support for the OP, thought it was funny in a "Naked Gun" sort of way. I love slap stick.

[BlueStreak]

2. That is a below-average morning