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Yorkshire residents terrified they could be made Leeds United owner
http://www.thedailymash.co.uk/sport/sport-headlines/yorkshire-residents-terrified-they-could-be-made-leeds-united-owner-2014120493502THE cobbled streets of Yorkshire are empty as residents cower in their homes, terrified they could be made the new owner of Leeds United.
Scouts are hunting for a fall guy to take control of the club while current owner Massimo Cellino, found guilty of being Italian, steps down until next March.
54-year-old Bill McKay said: “You can’t have a pint without fear of being press-ganged and waking up with that white rose in your buttonhole, marked for life.
“Just look at the previous incumbents: Peter Ridsdale and Ken Bates, neither of whom will ever be served in a Betty’s Tea Rooms ever again. Homing pigeons go ten miles out of their way to shit on their heads.”
Scouts are hunting for a fall guy to take control of the club while current owner Massimo Cellino, found guilty of being Italian, steps down until next March.
54-year-old Bill McKay said: “You can’t have a pint without fear of being press-ganged and waking up with that white rose in your buttonhole, marked for life.
“Just look at the previous incumbents: Peter Ridsdale and Ken Bates, neither of whom will ever be served in a Betty’s Tea Rooms ever again. Homing pigeons go ten miles out of their way to shit on their heads.”
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