Religion
Related: About this forumProper religious funerals are dying out. I mourn for them
When my time comes, I dont want a celebration of life. I want tears.
Stewart Dakers
14 May 2016
9:00 AM
Funerals aint what they used to be. Todays emphasis is more on celebrating a life past than honouring the future of a soul. While I am not averse to a celebratory element, the funeral is morphing into a spiritually weightless bless-fest. This was brought home to me last week at the funeral of Enid, a lady I knew only through our mutual attendance at bingo in the community centre.
I was uncomfortable from the moment we gathered outside the church, where my sombre suit set me apart from the Technicolor crowd of family and friends. The atmosphere was more akin to a wedding, even a hen do, than a funeral, the air drenched in perfume and aftershave. Inside, there was pew-to-pew chatter, wall-to-wall music (Robbie Williamss Angels, inevitably), not a single moment of silence, and not a single sacred song, let alone a prayer (an inaccurately mumbled Lords Prayer excepted). There were two readings, one by a grand-niece of perhaps eight, snivelling, bless, a poem about being only next door; then a nephew offering a eulogy, the main point of which was that his aunt had been a keen gardener and she will plant her flowers in heaven.
I know I shouldnt sneer. Religion, the Anglican version anyhow, is a broad church with a wide liturgical spectrum. But I could not help feeling that such celebration missed the point. It somehow connected with a virtual life rather than a real death. It was spiritual displacement activity.
As someone already in the queue, so to speak, I can see why this is becoming the norm. Social media declares that privacy is theft: your life is public property. The same must apply to death. And yet selfie culture insists, Look at me, Im having a wonderful time. It is uncomfortable with any performance conflicting with that message. Grief falls into this category.
http://www.spectator.co.uk/2016/05/proper-religious-funerals-are-dying-out-i-mourn-for-them/
DetlefK
(16,423 posts)We make them. We adopt them. We change them to suit our needs.
So why shouldn't we be free to do the opposite as well?
Why would we make a funeral-tradition we don't want?
Why would we adopt a funeral-tradition that has no meaning to us?
Why would we keep a funeral-tradition that no longer matches the way we think?
When religion dies one day, it won't be a spectacular death with denouncement, persecution and dramatic speeches.
Instead, it will simply fade away because people stopped caring about it.
rug
(82,333 posts)Not that they can not acknowledge both the life and the death of the person.
DetlefK
(16,423 posts)Atheist:
"He's dead. His body returns to the great circle of life. He's gone, except for in our memories."
Believer:
"He's not really dead. His soul goes to heaven and you will one day meet him there again."
rug
(82,333 posts)Death is always, unmistakably, a loss. That's true whether one is a believer or a nonbeliever.
The difference is that most religions propose that, while a loss, that loss does not mean oblivion but that there is a hope beyond the loss. The needle to thread is how a person's death can be acknowledged while at the same time acknowledging his or her death.
For example, before Vatican 2, the priests wore black vestments, symbolizing the loss. Since Vatican 2, the priests wear white, symbolizing the hope of returning to God.
For nonbelievers, I imagine the balance is between marking the reality of death while embracing the life that was lived.
Psychologically and subjectively, the comfort of believing in the great circle of life versus going to heaven, is pretty much the same.
struggle4progress
(118,330 posts)rug
(82,333 posts)Here's a few other takes.
Jim__
(14,083 posts)[center]
[/center]I'd be happy with that for the celebration of my life.