I need a new religion
Garrison Keillor, The Washington Post
Published 8:47 am, Thursday, January 19, 2017
... Too many of my fellow Christians voted for selfishness and for degradation of the beautiful world God created. I guess they figured that by the time the planet is a smoky wasteland, they'd be nice and comfy in heaven ... I'm looking around for other options.
Buddhism involves way too much sitting still for my taste; the Dalai Lama basically says, "Be gentle. Listen to the universe. Live in the moment. Let happiness flow through you." And I think to myself, "This man has never had children" ...
If I embraced it, I'd be one of the very few Zoroastrians in Minnesota and I could start my own First Reformed Zoroastrian church and pretty much write my own ticket. This is a huge advantage over the old system of adopting the religion of your forefathers ...
My religion would be a gentle faith that believes in the sacredness of leisure. Napping as a form of prayer. You worship the Lord by sitting on the porch and sipping iced tea and dozing off over a good book. Baseball is part of Reformed Zoroastrianism, and the number 3, and Ferris wheels and deep-fried cheese curds. A tolerant religion but it would come down hard on tailgaters and the writers of technical manuals and people who butt in when you're busy working. "I'm sorry to disturb you," they say. Well, then don't, okay? ...
http://www.sfgate.com/opinion/article/Garrison-Keillor-I-think-I-need-a-new-religion-10868744.php
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