Choosing not to give your kids a religion is seen as weird and selfish'

[rug]

Opting out of Communion is not easy in Ireland. We wouldn’t segregate children by their parents’ politics. So why are we segregating them by their parents’ religion, or lack of it?

Sat, May 20, 2017, 06:09
Jennifer O'Connell

Some parenting confessions. I choose what my children eat and when they go to bed. I choose for them not to interact with people they don’t know on the internet. I choose to teach them right and wrong. I do not choose a political party for them. I do not choose who they will one day have a romantic relationship with. I do not choose their religious affiliation.

None of these should be controversial decisions – they’re simply pragmatic parenting choices, ones with which most people would agree. All except one. Choosing their diet and bedtimes: good. Choosing to set boundaries around their use of technology: good. Choosing to help them distinguish right and wrong: good. Choosing their political party: weird. Choosing their future partner: really weird. Choosing not to give them a religion: not just weird, but selfish and possibly negligent.

In Ireland, to admit that your child won’t be making their communion is like saying you’ve signed them up as a junior member of a political party, something that would – quite rightly – raise eyebrows. But I fail to understand why we’re so comfortable publicly nailing our colours to the mast, to our kids’ masts, when it comes to religion.

I’m a pragmatist. I appreciate the myriad reasons parents of all shades of faith, and none, are opting into communion. Perhaps they see it is a natural expression of their Catholic identity. Perhaps it is a meaningful spiritual celebration. Or a harmless tradition keeping them in a club which – for all its flaws – they’d rather remain part of. Or they want to do it because everyone else is doing it. Or because it’s easier to do it now and let the child decide later. Or they don’t want their child singled out as different. Or they just want to throw a party.

http://www.irishtimes.com/life-and-style/people/choosing-not-to-give-your-kids-a-religion-is-seen-as-weird-and-selfish-1.3082616

[AtheistCrusader]

1. Intersting tidbits in the comments.

Fine back in the 1800's but we are now in the 2000's and the church justs owns the land now but the teachers, the supplies and the maintenance is paid by the government. The uniforms and sundries are paid by the parents. The Church pays for nothing yet demands it has complete control, and we and weak government allow it.
Reduce religion in school and increase instruction on things that matter in the real world.

Very interesting.

[Thirties Child]

2. Because I'd been terrified by fundamentalism, I didn't give my childen religion.

They each found a different way:
Oldest Son - Athiest
Oldest Daughter - Catholic
Youngest Daughter - Metaphysics
Youngest Son - Not Interested

[mhw]

3. Appears they are all just fine too!

Bravo

[SwissTony]

4. I was raised Catholic but left at about age 13.

My kids were never subjected to any religious teaching, nor, for that matter, any atheist teaching. If they wanted to ask something, I'd try and give an even-handed answer. But they were free to explore themselves. As far as I know, none (out of 3) has followed a religious path, but I don't know if they'd describe themselves as "atheist". Maybe "disinterested". I don't know.

In the comments, tomnewnewman.org says "@Ashie People are Catholic because they want to be and want their children to be as well." No, they don't, Tom. I was Catholic because I was very young and didn't know about alternatives. You pretty much get it foisted on you by your parents...as the second half of your comment suggests!

rug, this is an interesting article. It illustrates (to me, at least) that personal religious status has different effects depending on where you live.My atheism has never been a "problem" in the countries where I've lived (Australia, Netherlands). But I wonder if that's true in e.g. Ireland.

[rug]

6. I found it interesting as well.

None of my kids say the Pledge of Allegiance so I have an idea what she'a talking about.

[msongs]

5. follow the $$. if religions lose their funding they wither away nt

[rug]

7. Name something that doesn't apply to.

[guillaumeb]

8. Funding and tolerance for religion was denied in the USSR and China for many years.

So by your logic, religion should have withered away in both countries. However, beliefs that seem to go back many thousands of years do not seem to wither away no matter what.