Free will isn't the freedom to do whatever you want; I'd like to be able to terraform Mars to make it a good place for slime molds. (Sorry, but I think myxomycetes species are really, really neat.)
I claim free will; I don't claim the ability to do anything I want when I want to do it. There are impediments--for example, the distance, as well as the fact that I can't terraform. Even during vacation, just not enough time.
Free will is usually something like "the ability to choose to do good or to do bad." Cain had free will; he screwed the pooch. So did Josiah and Omri. 'Nuff said (if those names mean anything to you).
As for "he says he loves," I find that my keen semantic sense tingles when I hear phrases like that. "Love" is a difficult word to pin down. Let's say you love somebody. Let's make it your 15-year-old daughter. She's asking for methamphetamines because she's been high and is beginning to suffer a bit. Do you (a) call the police and let government do its job (if not, why do you hate government?), (b) give her more drugs unquestioningly when she needs it to keep her happy (happiness is most important), (c) gently suggest that perhaps she might want to consider rehab as you give her all the drugs she wants (she's a woman, let her make her own choice), (d) force her into rehab and when she says 'no' say "okay!" and give her drugs (most American parents), (e) take steps to compel her to choose between rehab and really, really nasty consequences (manipulative parents), (f) let her face those nasty consequences when she believes you're a pushover and when push comes to shove, you're her chief pusher (tough love)? Stipulate that she's already to the point and you can't change the terms of the scenario to "But if I really loved my daughter she'd never feel the need for drugs."
And, if your daughter makes an insane choice, do you manipulate things to push her in the direction you know--since you're much more aware of things and have superior knowledge and wisdom--is best for her? Even as you let her make her own decision. Ah. Manipulative parent, free will.
Right. Different people will have different answers when it comes to defining "love". So which one do you impose on another person's view of God without wallowing in fallacy? Because it's a bit loopy to say, "Your god is inconsistent because he doesn't follow the strictures that I impose on him." Or do you ask what they believe so you can judge their god on its own merits? Since most people don't systematize their theology that's just asking for a world of mental hurt, but it's the best that a reasonable person can do.
Most parents--heck, many Americans--really don't believe in self-determination and letting people make their own choices, if that's the definition we want. "Sorry, the government knows best. You are not allowed to drive at 120 mph down the freeway without penalty in the belief that all vehicles will magically vanish." "No, you are not allowed to put in fish poison to kill all the snail darters so you can build you hydroelectric plant."
So do we believe in freewill? Or do we say, "Yes, you speed and kill people, but you'll pay"--and that's after putting police on the road and doing other things to limit the ability of people to be asses?
We take the "God the father", "Yahweh as protector," "Yahweh as husband" as nice metaphors and then treat them as meaningless metaphors. But theodicy is a triviality if you consider the metaphor: We all let our kids screw up because without failure there are no small lessons learned to avoid larger lessons. We all manipulate things behind the scenes even as we let our kids make their own choices in order to achieve what's best for them.
Kids often don't like the meddling. They don't see the meddling at times. They often can't quite figure out what the goals of the meddling, strictures, penalties are. Accept the metaphors as real or not, it makes straw men easy and really personalizes what's at issue. All you have to do is say that "a real parent wouldn't do that, s/he'd do this." As though all parents are the same.
Go to, let us go down, and there confound their language, that they may not understand one another's speech.
Therefore is the name of it called Babel; because the LORD did there confound the language of all the earth: and from thence did the LORD scatter them abroad upon the face of all the earth.
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