Pat Robertson says God wants a mattress sale
Televangelist Pat Robertson declared Tuesday that God wants the entire world to hold an enormous closeout mattress sale this coming weekend or face immediate destruction. Robertson made this announcement on his 700 Club TV show.
“I heard it loud and clear. God was yelling ‘Sunday, Sunday, Sunday’ and ‘everything must go.’ He mentioned a ‘mattress sale armageddon’ and said the prices must be low enough as to threaten everyone with insanity,” Robertson said. “I knew this was coming, first America accepted homosexuality and now God is threatening to destroy us unless we go out and buy new mattresses.”
Robertson said he has such a close relationship with God that the almighty wakes him up every weekday at 6:00 a.m., often with a joke or two and the day’s news, traffic and the weather. If Robertson falls back to sleep, God repeatedly tries to rouse him every five minutes until he succeeds.
“It’s usually just the Lord himself speaking to me, but this time Jesus was talking as well. For all their threats they really seemed in good spirits as they were both calling some of their other followers and pranking them,” Robertson said. “Jesus called this one fellow, pretended to be the guy’s boss and said he was fired. They really do work in mysterious ways.”
http://www.thechicagodope.com/2012/01/10/pat-robertson-says-god-wants-a-mattress-sale/
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This man needs medical attention