Do the Beliefs of Others Infuriate You?

[rug]

Posted: 05/07/2013 12:50 pm
Brandon G. Withrow.
Professor of History and Religious Studies

Few books in the medieval world made a splash like Bernard of Clairvaux's "On Loving God." In it the Cistercian monk unravels the intricate nature of loving God. The degree to which he, as the author of such a book, could also become a co-opted preacher for the miserable Second Crusade is perplexing. Bernard is a dizzying example of the complexities of religion; he is a reminder that a faith can be as diverse and inconsistent as those that embrace it.

When it comes to the Crusades, these are the voices we tend to remember most. The moderates -- and there were some -- tend to vanish into the woodwork. After all, Westboro Baptist Church's protests and Ann Coulter's outrageous outbursts will always get the most headlines.

But why do discussions of religion often result in uncivil behavior? Why is it so hard for many of the religious and the non-religious to engage each other peacefully? How could Bernard deeply embrace the theological notion of love, while simultaneously endorsing violence toward his fellow human beings?

While I try to keep an understanding voice, there are beliefs, ideas and individuals that can push my buttons -- and I have plenty of buttons. The boundary between being open to others and being justly offended by the bad beliefs they hold is not always clearly demarcated. Even so, there are a few points I try to keep in mind -- like notes on a refrigerator -- when engaging others. I hope that these not only direct me from leaps of rash judgment, but also keep me a critical thinker.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brandon-g-withrow/do-the-beliefs-of-others-infuriate-you_b_3226263.html

Can't put my finger on it but I think this belongs here.

[struggle4progress]

1. Decades years ago, a lawyer of my parents generation remarked to me

that when he was younger he had been very concerned about what other people thought, but that after years of practicing law he had ceased to care what other people thought and had become much more concerned about what they did

It was probably a good comment for him to make to me at the time, because I was rather ideological then: I thought if one could understand people's philosophical views, one would understand their behaviors, and that if one could change their philosophical views, their behaviors would also change

I didn't notice until later that people often adapt their philosophies to their behaviors, rather than the other way around

[rug]

2. That's sound.

Also, in my experience, people often radically change their ideologies, opinions and beliefs. It is virtually certain that they are modified in some way over time.

[Phillip McCleod]

3. LOL

and i don't use that acronym lightly. there is laughing out loud involved if i use it at all..

yes. most emphatically. WTF is that?!?

maybe it's because some of those beliefs are apocalyptic and there seems to be a clutch of assholes ready to make it happen whether the rest of us want it or not.

when 'they'.. i hate 'they' how about sen. inhofe and the tamerlans? .. stop pushing an apocalyptic agenda, i'll stop being infuriated by it.

edit.. bernard of clairvaux pisses few off. kind of a weird beginning. why defend him? i read one quote of his talking about sending the filthy illertate sons of rich lords off to die fighting in the crusades.. a pretty cynical viewpoint for a saint.

[rug]

4. "Do the Beliefs of Others Infuriate You?"

Breathe in, my brother.

[Phillip McCleod]

5. ffffffftt..

'ere..

[rug]

6. Solid. . . .

but i'm getting too old for this.

[Phillip McCleod]

9. know what you mean.

gently. like planting that seedling.

[rrneck]

7. There are also many kinds of infuriation.

The usual kind are obvious. Nobody appreciates arrogance or condescension. But there is one type of infuriation that I don't think gets much of a mention. I don't like people feeding off of me.

It's not fair to use others as a foil to indulge in one's own feelings. If someone believes something, that's fine. If it's a good thing, so much the better. Faith offers an opportunity to inspire others. It's not faith that makes societies work, it's relationships borne of inspiration. Feeding off that basic human need is a pernicious evil and wrecks interpersonal relationships as well as entire cultures. And that's infuriating.

[rug]

8. Wow, I never looked at it like that.

I don't like people feeding off of me.

But that's just what it is.

[LostOne4Ever]

10. Most of the time I could not care less

Most of the time I could not care less, but there are stories that do set me off into anti-religion tirades. Sometimes its justified, sometimes its not. But I try never to talk about these beliefs or post on these topics when im the least bit emotional.

Not to mention certain people who really set me off, just as bad if not worse.

I don't like it when others force their beliefs on me, so I try not to force my beliefs on them. Unfortunately, the far right does not seem to want to reciprocate that courtesy

I usually have to remind myself about people like my second cousin who is over seventy and spends most of her time going around helping complete strangers, and not once has she ever evangelized, judged, or condemned anyone despite being deeply religious.

But sometimes its hard. Especially in cases like the psychic or the faith healers. Please don't take offense at this, but I view a great many religions as doing the same thing as that psychic; taking advantage of people who are DESPERATELY trying to find some form of hope. I just want to scream out "these people are lying to you!" This is especially true when I see religious leaders trying to make people go against their conscience on issues like Gay rights.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#dcdcdc; padding-bottom:5px; border:1px solid #bfbfbf; border-bottom:none; border-radius:0.4615em 0.4615em 0em 0em; box-shadow:3px 3px 3px #999999;"]http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brandon-g-withrow/do-the-beliefs-of-others-infuriate-you_b_3226263.html[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#f0f0f0; border:1px solid #bfbfbf; border-top:none; border-radius:0em 0em 0.4615em 0.4615em; box-shadow:3px 3px 3px #999999;"]But why do discussions of religion often result in uncivil behavior?

Because of all discussion nothing can be as personal as religion. It forms the way some people view the world. Further, people HATE being told their WRONG or that they are stupid or that they don't really know their own religion. When they feel that they been insulted or are wrong people tend to cling to their personal beliefs that much tighter.

This is why I try to always be as polite as possible in religious discussions and only mention my disbelief should it be pertinent to the conversation. Of course, it does not always work. Sometime, just stating my opinions can set people off even when im trying to be as even handed as possible. Its a tightrope of being honest and not offending others.

[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#dcdcdc; padding-bottom:5px; border:1px solid #bfbfbf; border-bottom:none; border-radius:0.4615em 0.4615em 0em 0em; box-shadow:3px 3px 3px #999999;"]http://www.huffingtonpost.com/brandon-g-withrow/do-the-beliefs-of-others-infuriate-you_b_3226263.html[div class="excerpt" style="background-color:#f0f0f0; border:1px solid #bfbfbf; border-top:none; border-radius:0em 0em 0.4615em 0.4615em; box-shadow:3px 3px 3px #999999;"]Lastly, advocating my position does not mean I have to treat others poorly.

In my recent interview at The Discarded Image with Chris Stedman, author of "Faitheist," I asked: "Should atheists engage in activism for atheism? If not, does that say something about the value of being an atheist?" His response stood out to me, "You can be an activist and an advocate for your own beliefs without making the elimination of others your priority."

I agree with this sentiment a lot, and like the author I'm a big fan of the principle of reciprocity.

[dimbear]

11. It's no secret that they do. Especially when they lead to things like murder, slavery,

oppression of women, oppression of children, and oppression of gays.

I doubt we're worlds apart there.

[MFM008]

12. your views

are not infuriating me.

[goldent]

13. A related question...

Do you enjoy being infuriated by the beliefs of others?

[edhopper]

14. The beliefs of the GOP

infuriate me to no end. So that is a yes.