Another dream drive-by...please forgive.

[rbnyc]

It really helps me to write and share my dreams, especially when I'm facing challenges.

I dreamed I was at an amusement park with my family. My son is 9, but I felt he was mature enough to go off on his own. I went off my my own to ride a roller coaster. My car was derailed and went into a nearby pool. There was a girl and a boy already in the pool due to another simultaneous amusement park ride accident. The girl was okay and climbed out. The boy was face down at the bottom of the pool. I thought please don't let it be my son. I dove down and lifted up his head. It was not my son. I carried him out of the pool and resuscitated him. He was okay.

He really looked like he had drown, and he had been dressed like my son. I was so relieved first that he was not my son, and then that he lived. But I had a sudden awareness that I was dreaming and that this wasn't a true picture of reality. My psyche would not be able to deal with any other outcome, so I just became aware of the dream and made it turn out okay. I felt kind of like a cheater. Now I feel a sense of danger.

I would not actually let me son go off by himself in an amusement park. He doesn't even go to the bus stop by himself across the street from our house.

But soon...

BTW, I often have nightmares about being in cars that go off roads or bridges into the water. And the challenges I am facing now are all work-life challenges. Home life is really good, and my son is doing very well.

[yellerpup]

1. Perhaps coming from deep-seated anxiety

about life 'going off the rails'--the weaker (children) paying the price for weaknesses in the system and it was happening to them and to you all being thrown out of the ride. You were able to save the boy, your son/not-son in the dream because of your vigilance and unwillingness to let something happen exhibiting the same powers you have in everyday life. The other boy being dressed like your son shows awareness that 'going off the rails' is happening to a lot of good (innocent children) people just like you. Going off roads or bridges into water speaks of fear of losing control. I'm glad your home life is good. I sense this dream has to do with stability.

[rbnyc]

2. Thanks.

I think what I want is safety. But there is no such thing. How do you let go?

[Celebration]

3. I do think it is hard when you have children

I used to worry constantly about my kids. Then one time I kind of really lost it, when my daughter was taking a cross country trip to Yellowstone Park, where she had a job. At the time the cell service there was really, really bad. She did not contact me as I thought she would and I ended up calling the Park Rangers--also I woke up the parents of someone that she was with.

Of course all of this was for no reason, really. Everything was fine. It was a kind of turning point for me. I made a sort of logical decision to have normal rather than abnormal amounts of anxiety about my kids, on the idea that worrying about safety in no way shape or form changed the outcome. So, what was the purpose?

It isn't as if I don't worry now--I do, but it is more of just the normal thing, rather than letting it get over the top. There just isn't a point to it.