(Jewish Group) I want to share a few personal things on my anniversary.
At this point, I like more than a few of you in this group, especially after a number of personal conversations, aren't feeling welcomed, respected, or appreciated, and that is at the good end of the spectrum! I don't even feel comfortable in my other identity here, being gay. That has really been disturbing to me. The level of vitriol and disrespect has made me withdraw, because I feel, "what's the point anymore?" However, I have found the shared experience above with others, has grounded me in a way and so I wanted to share something important, that under normal circumstances, I would have likely posted in GD or The Lounge. So...
On April 4th, I celebrated TEN YEARS of not smoking! Me! After smoking for almost 20 years, the last few years, very heavily, 2 packs, sometimes, 3 packs a day. I quit! It was not a happy time for me, but I managed to get through. I also set up an account that I put in the money I would have spent on cigarettes. By year's end, I had an account that was worth about $2100!! I put it in the "Holiday Account", so that year, many of my family and friends had a very good Christmas, Chanukkah, and Kwanza. So did I.
Ten years ago, I lost my beloved cat, Tony. It happened just 3 months after I quit. I can tell you, I struggled...HARD...not to slip, and I passed. Ten years ago, come November, I changed my status from "domestic partner" to "husband"! While elated, that too was stressful.
It wasn't easy for me. I started smoking, not "real" smoking, around 16. By the time I reached college, I was a regular smoker, though it was less than a pack a day. By grad school, four years later, I was a pack and a half smoker, then two packs by the time I graduated. I moved to two packs and more a few years later. I lacked some quirks that other smokers had; I smoked less when I drank and I never smoked when I was really bored. I did, like so many others, pick up "habitual ritual" smoking; soon as I got in a car; I lit up! As soon as I was on the phone, I lit up. When I had phone calls when I couldn't smoke, I got overly anxious, and on a few occasions had anxiety episodes, at least two blew up into full panic attacks.
If you are thinking of quitting, I support you and however you do it or however long it takes. No judgement! If you, like me, have also quit, come celebrate. Share your story.
TEN YEARS! Who knows how much time I gave myself to be with my husband, my family, my friends, and my cadre of Chihuahuas!
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I never really lost my sense of smell. I could always smell things out better than most, including my husband. A few weeks after quitting....OH BOY....could I really smell again. That took some getting used to! For about three months, and SOOOOOO not proud of this, I used to follow smokers in stores so I could "smell" them. 
As for the intro, yes, I am beyond frustrated and angry. Seeing shit like Holocaust inversion, anti-Semitism, lies and distortions, and cheering certain elements has made my skin crawl. It is, IMO, the worst it has ever been. I know most don't give a shit, but there are few who have really shown the types of people they are and I am trying to adhere to and focus more on those supportive people than letting myself get mired in the negative. I have good days and bad days.
But, I wanted to share something positive from my life (along with the arrival of my puppies) that makes me proud and happy.
And I'm very sorry if you've been made to feel unwelcome or disrespected here. Please don't withdraw! I read your posts regularly and always appreciate and respect what you have to offer. Rude, thoughtless people, even outright assholes, are everywhere, even among liberals, but don't let the bastards grind you down.
There are some days that are much tougher and I have come really close to breaking my streak. Prolonged stress and anxiety attacks, happily much less frequent, can make the urge to smoke again almost unbearable. During those times I have to avoid smokers and can't even watch it on TV or in movies. Thankfully, episodes like that are rare and don't usually last long.
I appreciate your kind words. I am trying to focus on more positive persons and remarks, even if they disagree with my positions, and there are many of those types on this board who can make disagreement enjoyable and educational.
back atcha!
including the hatred on these pages and, I think on occasions on the LGBT group.
I’ve never smoked. My late father was a two packs a day, non filtered cigarettes. He quit when he had two heart attacks at 50. He would walk around with a toothpick dangling from his lips and someone once whispered to my mom: why does he have a toothpick in his lips?
At 75 he had a multiple bypass surgery and lived to be 90. He was in pain the last two years of his life because of shingles. So get your shingles vaccine!
Great going. 
It is the number one thing I keep in mind whenever I think about trying another cigarette.
A former friend of mine (oh well) decided to quit. And, he did. I was back home after about six years and decided to catch up with him and a few others. Some of us were still smoking tobacco at this point. Someone pointed out that my friend had been six years not smoking a ciggie and how great that was. He was modest about it but we still applauded him for it. Then, another friend asked him a simple question: Do you ever want one? My friend grabbed the table and leaned over to us and replied:
"Every fucking day!"
There are so many factors to successfully stopping something that is purposely addictive. So, I applaud anyone who has done so and decided to never do it again, regardless of the temptation. You go! (20 years since I had one. I don't miss it anymore.)
I didn't smoke for very long, around 5 or 6 years in my twenties, but it was very hard to quit. There were days all I did was cry. So you have a big standing ovation from me.
As for the first paragraph that you wrote...I feel the same. I think if I was in the same room with some people, that they would spit on me.
