BEATING THE BULLIES BY THINKING DIFFERENTLY

[Judi Lynn]

Having a resilient mindset makes a big difference to how much damage bullying does - parents and teachers can help kids learn that they have the power to cope with difficulty

By Professor Michael E. Bernard, University of Melbourne

Whether at work, school or at home, bullying has the potential to greatly wound victims – in whatever form it takes: physical, verbal, social exclusionary or online.

When someone more powerful says derogatory things about you, applies pressure on you to do something against your values or wishes, excludes you, or physically harms you, it’s normal to feel inadequate, embarrassed, depressed, helpless, anxious or furious.

But there are ways to minimise this damage. In particular, psychological research shows that having a resilient mindset makes a big difference to how much damage bullying does.

In fact, if you’re being bulled, protecting yourself from emotional wounds can help you stand up to the bullying and take constructive and protective action.

More:
https://pursuit.unimelb.edu.au/articles/beating-the-bullies-by-thinking-differently

[rusty quoin]

1. I admit I did not read further. But I do know one guy who did not let it get to him,

and that was Barack Obama. He can teach us a thing or two.

[cyclonefence]

2. Wonderful quotations

from the article, and words to live by:

Epictetus wrote nearly 2,000 years ago that “people are not effected by events but by their view of events” and Shakespeare said that “there is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”

Thanks, as always.

[Duppers]

3. Much easier said than done,

Especially for children. My son was bullied so much in the 4th grade that I went to the teacher who pulled the principal and the guidance counselor into the discussion. They automatically assumed we had overblown the issue and had the audacity to tell my husband and myself that we should just "go see a movie." Her very words. She said something even more upsetting.

The next year, when our son was in 5th grade, he was so upset in the lunch room he couldn't eat and a lunchroom lady overheard him say, "I wish I were dead." The L.R. lady went to that same guidance counselor who was alarmed and called me at home!! Did I didn't hold back when reminding her of her crass and totally condescending disregard she had for this very issue the year before. That day she had a dozen red roses delivered to my home!

Don't brush over the pain a child feels from bulling. Get to the root of the bully's problem. Why do people need to bully? Usually to control and to boost their own egos. In childhood groups these bullies must be confronted by adults who truly understand the issues and the harm being done.

We took our son to a psychologist to help him better cope. But to this day (he's now 31) he cannot tolerate bullies in the workplace but has developed great coping skills...and ways to push back. He's now a strong, sensitive, and very caring person. A good democrat!

[cyclonefence]

4. Point well taken

The quotations apply more to adults, not at all to children. My son (35) was bullied about his little sister, who is disabled. His classmates made fun of the fact that she had to wear diapers--these were sixth-graders making fun of her to put him down. There's no way he was able to deal with this. I'm glad your son has done so well. My son, after years of therapy, still worries about what other people think of his sister when we're together in public. But he also is a good democrat!

Child bullies are like the racist assholes at Starbucks; who in the world raises a child to believe it's OK to act like that?

[Duppers]

5. Exactly! "who in the world raises a child to believe it's OK to act like that?"

Republicans.