Has anyone experienced a situation like mine?

[Harmony Blue]

My father passed away back in Novemeber and all I can think about is that I went through all the rituals associated with the funeral (Christian) and yet people keep telling me that he is in a better place or that God has a plan. From my view, my father didn't want to die and I don't see a plan that makes logical sense. All I see is that death is a finality while my religious relatives believe the next chapter in a journey after life is death.

I was never religious even as a young boy, but with my father's death it seems to have sealed the deal for me that religion has been created by humans as a giant defense mechanism from the obvious truth about death and it is all about control.

[Warpy]

1. I was very lucky, both my parents died unbelievers

and refused everything the church offered, opting instead for quiet cremation.

Since the only close relative was a cousin and he wasn't that close, there were no god botherers at any step of the process.

I always considered it the last gift they gave me and I am grateful.

[OffWithTheirHeads]

2. O.K. Let's back up a little bit.

I'm an athiest. Have been since I was about 14. I'm now 62. Still an athiest. What I do know is that what we know about the known universe is that we don't know much. If you have even the remotest sense of the vastness we live in, you have to believe that we do not understand what's going on out there. I certainly have no idea what's going on and you don't either. I'm pretty sure the universe isn't controlled by some Blond guy from the middle east or some brown guy from the same middle east but to think that we actually have any idea of the big picture is huberis

I don't know what happens when we die. Neither do you. Don't worry about it. You will find out soon enough and it is what it is. Meanwhile, try to bring happiness to those around you. What have you got to lose?

[CrispyQ]

8. I love this. I think you will too.

Scale of the Universe

http://htwins.net/scale2/

[mbperrin]

3. Just consider that what they really needed was some comfort for themselves.

It didn't hurt you, certainly not your dad, and you're right, most people need a feeling of control.

It's tough to just think it all ends. I do think so myself, but it's not the easiest thought.

My parents have been dead many years, and once in a while, those internalized voices say something that really makes me remember how very hard-working they were and how well they did with very little to start.

Gosh, this sounds preachy, I certainly don't mean it that way.

[cynatnite]

4. My Dad passed away some years ago...

and I have no problem with my religious family finding comfort with their religion to cope. I'd rather they leave me out of it.

[ScottLand]

5. Sorry for your loss. It may sound trite but I really think the most plausible explanation for how

religion came to be was the one in "The Invention Of Lying". I had already been thinking that people just need religion to comfort themselves about death.

For me, I never really took it seriously when they said the dead were in a better place, even when I was a Christian.

[Curmudgeoness]

6. Forget about how others are dealing with their grief.

Focus on the ways you need to deal with your sense of loss. I am sorry to hear you lost your father. Both my parents have been gone a long time now, and I still occasionally mourn. It doesn't really matter whether they are "in a better place" or whether death is just the end.....I have to get through the loss.

So let your family who believe delude themselves if that is what they need to get through the day. It doesn't really hurt you as long as they don't overdose you on it. And you will have to find your own way.....because religion certainly does make it easier on the believers when they think that they will be reunited. We all live, we all die, and we all miss those who are no longer here.

And yes, I agree that religion is just a defense system set up to protect people from that finality, as well as keeping them in line with promises of eternal life in paradise, if they will only live a good life and not make waves in this life. Bah humbug.

[TxDemChem]

7. I'm sorry for your loss

It's hard losing someone when you deal with your grief differently than others. I'm sure it's comforting to others to think that their lived ones are in a better place, but I'm with you. I think it is the end game. And while some rejoice at the idea that the departed are in heaven having a grand ole time, I try to find comfort in knowing that if my loved one was suffering here in earth, that they are no longer suffering. It's not a romantic idea, but it's all I've got.

[CrispyQ]

9. I'm sorry about the loss of your father.

My mother believed in reincarnation, so while it wasn't God based, she did still cling to the afterlife idea. I don't understand how it gives them comfort. I asked a Christian friend once if she believed if she lived before she was born. "Of course not, that doesn't make sense." But an afterlife does?

[Curmudgeoness]

10. Phffffff!

Duh, yeah, that doesn't make sense!