Curious about people's stories of 'coming out' as an atheist

[salparadise1000]

Last edited Fri Jun 8, 2012, 12:54 PM - Edit history (2)

(EDIT) many are reading this thread and not commenting. Everyone has a story so come and share it. The post itself might be your first open act of acknowledging your budding atheism. In that case god bless you! Or maybe you can tell us what is keeping you in that theist closet. There will be no judgements here. (others -> please don't be judgmental)

(EDIT 2) Since you must have a DU acct to post I started a FB page for some who might want to post. Yotu can find it at I Am An Atheist I am thinking about turning this into a larger project and I am trying to gauge interest. Thanks.

I myself don't have a very interesting one. Raised in a very secular household. The only time we went to church was when we visited my Grandparents on Easter and Mother's Day. My father had been raised in a strict Methodist family, but mostly rejected it. Lived most of my life in Seattle area, which has one of the lowest rates of church attendance in the nation. At a young age I remember being amazed that some people believed that Satan was real, I think I had always viewed it more as a metaphor.

Anyway becoming an atheist was not some huge transformation. One day in college some asked me if I was an atheist and I answered, "Yes, I guess I am"

So anyone else want to share, especially if your 'evolution' was more interested than mine.

[Rittermeister]

1. Still not completely out

I, as I think I've mentioned here before, was raised in a conservative (read: worships Jesse Helms and thinks George Bush was too liberal) household in a small town near Charlotte, North Carolina. My parents are both attorneys, both from middle to lower-middle class backgrounds, which may be why they despise poor people who haven't been able to "improve" themselves. Went to church every Sunday at a large Presbyterian church which also was attended by all the movers and shakers in our little, ex-textile mill town. I was always intellectually curious, and about the time I was thirteen years old and going through confirmation, I realized that I felt no connection to God. No presence, no uplifting. Church was just a boring exercise in hypocrisy. About the time I was eighteen, I finally admitted to myself there was no God. The only people who really know this are my mother and brother (who's a little liberal atheist demon like me). Father still doesn't know.

For the record, I'm probably the last guy in the world you'd ever think was an atheist liberal. I'm a 6'4", 290-pound preppy with a southern accent and fashion taste that runs to penny loafers and pleated khakis.

[JNelson6563]

12. After reading your physical description

I will worry about you a little less, but not much.

Since that post where you mentioned a feared reaction at home you are on my radar and I worry a bit. Sorry, it's a mom thing.

Good to see you here and good to know you are a big strong boy. Take good care.

Julie

[RebelOne]

2. When I was a child in Miami,

I was raised as a Southern Baptist. Throughout my younger years, I attended the Baptist church and went to Sunday school and vacation bible school. In my early teens. I joined the Episcopalian church and went through confirmation, first communion and all that other crap. Then in my early 40s, I totally abandoned the church because I realized there was really no big mythical spirit in the sky.

[immoderate]

3. When I was 7 years old...

We held a "council" in the shade of "The Comfortable Tree." Four of us, asserted that we didn't believe in a god. Like Santa Clause. It was a reality check on what we thought was fiction.

Have to admit as Jewish kids, we were already heavily inoculated against Santa. The comfortable tree afforded easy climbing and lots of branches to sit on.

--imm

[dimbear]

7. This is very strange. Trees and tall spiny things of all sorts have been religious symbols since

time began because they used to be places of safety for us when we were monkeys.*










*actual science completely distorted for jocularity

[immoderate]

16. Ah. but this occurred some time after we were monkeys.

However, I wouldn't rely on monkeys either for religious guidance.

--imm

[Rob H.]

4. I identified myself as an agnostic for a long time

Last edited Sun Jun 3, 2012, 11:47 PM - Edit history (1)

because I didn't want to be too "controversial" but finally realized that I didn't believe any of that religious silliness. I live in Tennessee at the moment, and I've heard more than one conversion story that revolved around coming to faith after some personal tragedy--divorce, loss of a job, a death in the family, etc.--because they happened to turn to religion for help. I think a lot of churches (at least here) are predatory that way. "Divorced? Unemployed? Grieving? We have the One True Answer™ to all your problems!"

FWIW, I was raised a Navy brat and we lived all over the world until the summer right before I turned 14, and my parents raised my late brother and me in such a way that we were encouraged to find out more about things that interested us. From the outside, going to church looked kind of, well, boring, and for my part I didn't care to learn anything more about something that looked so deadly dull. Fortunately, my parents never forced either of us to go to church, either.

I'm one of the few people I know who's never been to church for anything other than weddings or funerals.

Edited for clarity and to say welcome to DU, salparadise1000.

Further edit: I should've mentioned that only a few people I work with know. I don't think it would be wise to say anything lest it affect my continued employment.

[awoke_in_2003]

5. Still not completely out...

my family knows- no big deal to him. I live in the babble belt, though, so most people at work do not know- it could affect future promotions.

[Gore1FL]

6. Mine was a progression

My faith was shaken in 1999. I tried over time to reclaim it, but every time I tried, I found less an d less reason for it. I tired again last summer in the wake of my mother's death, but that too foundered. Sometime last fall, I saw a Neil deGrasse Tyson presentation about the God of the gaps, and I haven't really looked back.

[cynatnite]

8. My evolution to becoming an atheist was a very long time in coming...

I had a strict Southern Baptist upbringing where questioning was not just discouraged, it was considered an outright sin. Even doubting was a sin. All my questions growing up stayed in my head. I struggled off and on over the years with Christianity and all the hypocrisies that came with it. I was even baptized twice.

After I went in the medical field and I witnessed suffering and death, it pretty well cemented some of my opinions. What finally got me to realize I was an atheist was after I learned about about the detailed history of early christianity.

After accepting it, I finally found peace with myself.

I'm out to my family, but I don't say much about it. Those like my mother and sister were pretty upset when I first came out to them. I felt they had to know so that they would understand why I wasn't participating in church activities or prayers. They were pretty upset of course, but they weren't cutting me off or anything like that. I know they're still hopeful that I will "come around" as they put it, but I explained to them my position. That's as far as it goes.

I'm in the South so for the most part no one else knows. I don't feel like dealing with the hassles of RW types who aren't so understanding.

[ScottLand]

9. I haven't attended a church in a lot of years but I live in Georgia so most everyone else does.

I finally started saying I was an atheist last year after hearing about the group that incorrectly predicted the end of the world twice. Most of what they believe is exactly the same as the other Christians and yet they were still called nuts. I started wondering why I believe in any of this stuff.

I've always felt that if there was no god, people would still believe in one because it gives them a security thinking everything is going to be fine no matter what - good will triumph over evil, death is not the end, etc. It doesn't however have anything to do with actual reality.

My family haven't been surprised about me being an atheist and don't really pay that much attention to it. It is nice to not be judged but I am a little bummed that I don't know anyone that feels the same way I do.

[RebelOne]

30. Yeah, I live in Georgia too.

and there is a church on every other block.

[laconicsax]

10. Not out, probably won't be for a long time.

Part of my family would be fine with it, as would some of the people I know and work with.

The rest of my family would not respond well and neither would most of my coworkers.

My "evolution" from believer to non-believer was really just a matter of applying rational thought to my beliefs and studying scripture. I had already studied a fair amount so that I could confront some of the Christian bigots who had bullied me in school for years, and I had been putting aside the part of my brain that kept saying, "you know these same arguments apply to God as well as this fundie nonsense."

[salparadise1000]

11. enjoying reading about everyone's story

It seems like there are two separate parts to many of these stories.
1st is the internal - recognizing that you have given up any past belief system and are comfortable saying to yourself that you an atheist.
2nd is external - feeling free enough to give up any external pretenses, telling family, friends and anyone else (people online :roll
It strikes me that there are some similarities between these processes and the ones someone who is gay might go through. Not a perfect analogy, but close enough that I thought it worth mentioning. One of the bigger differences might be that it is easier to live as a 'closeted' atheist than staying closeted if you are gay or lesbian. Maybe someone who has gone through both might make a comment about the similarities and differences.
If you are not familiar with the It Gets Better Campaign I urge you to go and view some of those videos they are very touching stories. It was those those videos that got me thinking about hearing people's stories on the issue. That campaign was a reaction to all the stories of suicides by GLBT youth. It's important for me to note that I believe that the fear/harassment faced by those kids is likely much more severe than any faced by atheist young people, or at least those kids are able to hide more easily. But it is worth noting than atheist are by some measurements the leased trusted groups in the country. Study says religious people distrust atheists as much as rapists http://digitaljournal.com/article/315425

Here is a little bit of humor from a on-line magazine that I write for - the 2nd (and probably funnier one is from another person)

Study Asks, ‘Do Atheists Have Morals?’ http://www.freewoodpost.com/2011/10/12/study-asks-do-atheists-have-morals/
‘Marxism no longer corresponds to reality’ says Man in Giant Hat who speaks to Invisible Cloud People http://www.freewoodpost.com/2012/03/25/marxism-no-longer-corresponds-to-reality-says-man-in-giant-hat-who-speaks-to-invisible-cloud-people/

take care,
brent

[SwissTony]

13. I never had to "come out" as an atheist

I was raised largely in Scotland (as Catholic) and moved to Australia when I was 10. I started moving away from the Church, even though I actually served as an altar boy (just once - roped in by my cousin, who was a regular). So, by the age of 15, I was a non-believer. My mother remained Catholic up until her death. My sister and her family are JWs. My atheism has never been a problem to them. I think my kids are atheist. We never discussed God unless they themselves raised the question. One of my daughters asked if she could go to church with a friend who had invited her. We said it was OK. She went twice, then stopped.

Religious status is not important in Australia for the vast majority of people. If I walked into a pub and announced I was an atheist, I'd expect looks of bewilderment at most. If I announced that I was a supporter of Port Adelaide (an Australian Rules football club), I'd probably expect a stronger reaction (hopefully good-natured).

Australia's current Prime Minister is an atheist.

It's been a bit of an eye-opener for me being in this group. Several people have stated they have or would have trouble coming out in their own personal circumstances. I was completely unaware of such problems.

[salparadise1000]

17. Can't say I follow Austrilian politics, but ....

It was surprising to learn that your PM is an atheist I know that Commonwealth is very different from the US in terms of religion, but that still seemed surprising. As far as I know there is only one out member of Congress here. One group claims 26 atheists who keep their views private.

[SwissTony]

18. As I said, it's not a big issue in Australia.

The opposition leader is something of a fundie, but would never dare to air that difference in public. It would bite him big time in the polls.

As I said in my post, I was surprised by the situation in the US. I knew it was difficult, but wasn't aware that it was THAT difficult.

[awoke_in_2003]

34. I was in the choir...

(baritone) in my grandfather's church- but only because I was trying to get into the pants of one of the girls (almost everything they say about preacher's kids is true)

[Mr Dixon]

14. My Story

My story was pretty simple I was raised in the church my grandfather was a deacon, so we went every Sunday and Wednesday. Went I grew older my mother gave me the choice if I wanted to go to church and I stopped going. Church and religion seemed so fake to me, people were still talking about each other, and people smelling like the Club (smoke and booze) I even had a girl friend at church. Basically nobody truly believed that it was god’s will that a kid got shot or being beaten by the police was god’s will, turn the other cheek? In Compton, CA are you crazy?

After joining the Army things really came in to perspective, people from every state had their own spin on religion and god, plus everyone had their own interpretation of the bible. So I became a target of the masons, they wanted me in the clique, I refused every recruitment attempt, Why do I need to join this group was my question? They would say that mason help each other, I would reply that I would help them if they needed me mason or not. Another sticking point for me was the Bible and the KKK; I would ask people how can you believe a book that these murdering mad men also believe? Crickets. Finally I read the autobiography of Malcolm x and when I saw that the NOI were bunch of murdering Mad men also I threw my hands up and said forget it. No one can say which religion in true so I dismiss them all as man-made propaganda.

[YankeyMCC]

15. An unexpected Journey

Unexpected in that I totally misunderstood how people would react.

As a child I used to (still do) enjoy mythology. I gobbled up the Greek and Roman myths, and it always seemed to me christianity was just the latest version of societies mythological foundation (and I do think myths do and can play significant roles in community and society at large, mostly positive when they are understood as myths, largely negative when they become more important than human dignity and dogmatic).

I used to play a kind of game in my mind (I might have written a few things down too) trying to tie together all the mythologies, including christianity.

I never really talked about being atheist, but I did make a lot of jokes about gods and Jesus and stuff, it should've been clear to everyone I didn't take these things seriously. (Although I do think when I was very young I thought there was some supernatural magic out there, I still believe in magic, the magic of real life)

And we only went to church on the holidays and for sacraments for family members (Roman Catholic). And we never talked about gods or religion at home. I thought everyone thought pretty much like me, that we all knew it was mythology and it was just part of the culture, used for community building and such.

I made all my sacraments, even confirmation and at the interview with the priest when he asked me why I wanted to be confirmed I answered honestly "So I can use the gift money to get a leather jacket." (Which I did by the way and I still have it)

When he still let me pass that pretty much confirmed for me the ridiculousness of taking that stuff seriously was.

Much later when I started actively speaking about my lack of belief in anything supernatural, my disappointment with the church etc...

I hit a brick wall I didn't expect. People asked me "Don't you want to raise your son with morals?" My mother said to me "You're not my son", there were threats to force my son against my wishes to make his confirmation.

I'm pretty much fully out, although I also practice Zen so some people make an assumption that makes them comfortable and it would be rare for me to disabuse them of that just for the sake of correcting that assumption of theirs.

I don't go broadcasting it, I do not hesitate to talk about it. If there's anyone in my circle of family and friends who don't know then it's because I haven't spoken to them in years or they just aren't close enough to me to pay attention.

[BiggJawn]

19. I was a "Christmas and Easter" kind of Christian.

Billy Graham saved me via the Teee-Veee when I was about 13, and that was about it. My family was non-religious for the greater part, and what church attendance I did was as a result of wanting to be with some girl. Hell, I almost became Catholic over some sweetie I was madly in love with...

After several years of trying to beat Gene Simmons in the notches on the headboard game I got married to a tongue-talking Pentecostal woman who I knocked-up and we lived in poverty. Minimum-wage job, constantly broke, no food, electricity and heating always getting shut off, found out years later that she was tithing 10% of our income to her pastor who drove a Mercedes. We were in the dark and our last pound of baloney was rotting in the fridge so Pastor could have cruise control... An extra $100 a month in MY pocket would have made things easier... Oh, and if you ever want to see a freak show, go to a United Pentecostal Church. The "Gifts of the Spirit" look a hell of a lot like mental illness.

Well, after about 4 years Gawd told her it was OK to fuck around on me so she left. By that time, I was working for a TV ministry and hearing a LOT of stuff at work that Did Not Compute.

So I read the Big Book of Bronze Age Faerie Tales all the way through and took it at face value, not filtered through the lens of Apologetics. Then a co-worker stuck his hand where it didn't belong and took 12,000 Volts right to ground through his knees. Hundreds of people praying for him, yet Gawd was out to lunch or taking a nap or something, and he died. So much for "Any 2 or more of you agreeing".

Then a stepson (I got remarried, this time to a good Catholic girl) killed himself and the "prayer counselor" at work told me this was flat-out PROOF that "Satan has control of your family".

That was it. I was done with the Jeebus Show. I felt like a prostitute, spreading a "word" that I did not believe in, so I got a job in the public sector, and my second marriage, like most marriages that suffer the death of a child, fell apart eventually, and I climbed inside the bottle and went down the Plastic Medicine Man road for a while and found it was as crooked as Christianity. So stick a fork in the "New Age" bullshit, too. Can't really recommend Alcoholism as a spiritual path, either.

Did you know Steve Martin's movie, "Leap of Faith" should have been a documentary? I saw *ALL* of that crap when I was workin' for The LARD.

I said "I am an ATHEIST" publicly for the first time, oh, I dunno, maybe 15 years ago. I lose a buttload of a lot of sleep worrying about this crazy "I'm more Christian than YOU!" Authoritarian culture America is devolving into and the coming Dominionist Theonomy.

Oh- I forgot to mention that after my second divorce I found another job, relocated to a different city, found a nice agnostic lady to be my friend and pretty much left the World of Crazy. My daughter, after a few years of being a hootin'-hollering Pentecostal, is now leaning Agnostic and will probably be an Atheist herself before too many more years. I don't have contact with very many people and the public at large (the Xian ones) can kiss my ass when they're done kissing Hank's ass.

[Rittermeister]

21. I hear you mate

My nearest town has not one, but two pentecostal churches. Guess they couldn't get along.

[BiggJawn]

22. Well, one might be AOG and the other UPC.

Assemblies of Gawd (Jimmy Swaggart's denomination) as I recall, AOG people almost could fool you into thinking they're Baptists.
The United Pentecostal Church, they're the ones who's women wear their hair down to their knees and Sunday service looks like the day room at a mental hospital, with the people babbling away in "tongues" and squirming on the floor...

Funny, Xians all claim to worship the same guy, yet there's like 42,000 different ways to worship Jeebus, and only one of them is right, the rest are "false doctrine".

[Rittermeister]

23. We're talking speaking in tongues. At both institutions. N/T.

[Rainforestgoddess]

20. Not much to tell

My family is pretty secular - we occasionally went to church (Anglican) at easter, but that pretty well stopped when I was around 10 or so.

I never really thought about it much, though, like another poster, I devoured mythology. I kind of came to the woo woo conclusion at the ripe age of 17 or so, that there was some kind of non personal force out there, and that through our collective consciousness, we created our own gods. (this was so I could justify that Thor and Zeus et al did once really exist, at least in some form - kind of the Tinkerbell effect, I guess, LOL)

Lived my life, didn't think about it much. Then when some minor difficulties were happening in my life, I was told by a 'friend' that the reason things weren't going perfectly was because I hadn't been washed in the blood of christ. I gave him the stank eyebrow and started to THINK about religion.

Decided I was an agnostic pagan (not sure that there were godS - as I didn't see any more proof of christianity than I did of any of the other mythological tales)

Then one day at a dinner party, the host flat out asked me if I believed in god. I answered no. The conversation proceeded quite well, as he had asked me to keep from offending me, if by chance I WAS religious.

After that, I didn't prevaricate. If asked, I'm an atheist.

Of course, it's not that big of a deal here in Canada.

[bahrbearian]

24. I'm out to everyone but my Mother

It would break her heart, shes 84 so I let her believe that I'm I Christian with out a Church. I tell her I pray in the corner like Jesus said to do. I give her a bad time about her Bible Studies, I ask if she will ever pass the test or will she have to keep on studying.

[jaded_old_cynic]

25. I was 41.

For me it happened when my husband was in the hospital. He had just had a massive stroke from two malignant tumors on his occipital lobe due to metastatic melanoma. I was an atheist prior to this, but I never truly “Came out” to anyone but a few close friends and my own spouse. I had avoided being open about it due to my mother who is deeply religious, and I did not have any desire for her to save me. I was talking to the Dr about my husband’s prognosis and was told that he didn’t have much longer. I broke down sobbing, feeling as if I were kicked in the gut. My mother, in her attempt to comfort me said “God has a plan.”

Now I had been hearing this nonsense since my husband was diagnosed and I managed to keep silent about it so as not to cause any discord, but after hearing it for the nth time, knowing that the man I loved and was with for more than half my life, was going to die at the age of 48 I completely lost any sense of discretion. I exploded with a fury and loudly proclaimed that I hadn’t been a believer for some time and that it was all a load of bullshit. I said that if her god’s plan was to take my husband from me, then both her god and his plan sucked. I was a little sorry about turning my wrath toward my mother, who most certainly meant well but I just couldn’t take the delusional bullshit any longer.

Ever since then, I have always been straightforward on the subject whenever possible. Sometimes to my own detriment, but I feel as if a weight has been lifted from my shoulders. Not the way I wanted to come out, but at least it was finally in the open.

[GliderGuider]

26. I was very lucky - I was born out

My maternal grandparents were atheists (and World Federalists), both my parents are, as are my two sibs and my nieces. Canada is a great place for atheists - it just doesn't matter to anybody.

My entire family are ultra-liberal, deep-red socialist freethinkers. So how does one become a rebellious black sheep in a family like that? Well, after 60 years, I think I discovered a way...

[lindysalsagal]

27. I'm out with everyone except my boyfriend (we're 52)

because he's addicted to the church and the imaginary payoffs.

I also believe he knows I don't believe, because he never asks me about my beliefs, and likes to remain ignorant.

Great guy: Really sweet and honest. He just needs to believe his parents are waiting for him in heaven. Meanwhile, he's fornicating with an woman on birth control that he has absolutely no intention of marrying.....

Believers are complex.....

[onager]

28. Mine's not very interesting either...

Raised SoB (Southern Baptist). This was the rural South, so church was almost the only social outlet in the area - e.g., the closest (very) small town was about 10 miles away. Everybody I knew went to church on Sunday.

I grew up surrounded by Baps, Meth(odist)-heads and Presbyterians. And...others. I know the general rep of SoBs, but trust me - relatives sometimes dragged me to "services" that made the Baptists look like High Church Episcopalians.

We're talking varieties of religious experience that would have probably put William James on the laughing-gas for good: screaming hours-long tent revivals, tongue-talkers, faith-healers etc. There were snake-handling churches in the area but I never personally visited one.

Contrary to what we often read in the Religion group, I never felt especially "hurt" or "damaged" by all this church-going.

Probably even worse - from the church POV, anyway - it did make me curious. I'd often ask questions about all this Sophisticated Theology I was hearing.

Many times I just got told not to ask those questions, which just made me more curious. Didn't take long after that for me to decide that organized religion was a toad-load.

And not long after that for me to decide the same about unorganized religion.

One good thing about all my early religious immersion (bad pun intended), at least IMO - it served as a great inoculation. When I moved to California, I was constantly being invited to "hip, non-traditional" Xian services. My ex-wife loved those things.

But I very quickly saw that it was nothing but the same old song and dance I'd heard all my life. Instead of an old bald guy playing a piano, you had a young long-haired guy playing a guitar. Other than that, it was the same BS - Gawd really loves you, but don't piss him off or you'll fry forever!

[Bradical79]

29. Former evangelical here, though not quite "out" yet...

I hint at it with some people, and I'm sure some would be surprised that I'm an atheist.

Some background first: I became an evangelical born again Christian in my early teens and that lasted through most of my 20's, though after I realized Bush's deception over Iraq and seeing so many evangelicals ignoring his crimes and burying their heads in the sand, I really started drifting away from my church. Despite being into the religion 110% ( I truly believed in no sex until marriage, it was wrong to be homosexual, creationism, the end times - loved the Left Behind series), I'd always differed from them politically and managed to twist my left wing feelings into what I knew what was "wrong" according to my Christian indoctrination. For example, like most evangelical men I believed homosexuality was wrong, but as a young idealistic patriotic American who did well in my Government and Economics course, I felt that denying marriage rights for gays was a violation of our constitution and the principles of separation of church and state. I found ways to force in most of my personal political beliefs with an intolerant and contradictory religion.

Last year though was probably when I started to really actively reject my religious beliefs. I hadn't been able to attend church in several years, and had become a bit better educated in a number of subjects. One day while I was feeling a bit "spiritual" I went back to the Bible, started browsing around and found a passage that shocked me. "Holy shit, the bible says if you rape your neighbor's virgin daughter, your 'punishment' is to marry her! That's really fucked up!!" That's an approximation of what went through my head at that point, and I spent some time reading and wondering how the hell I didn't notice any of that BS my first time through. I assume it was because I was indoctrinated before actually reading The "Good" Book, and my mind just flat out blocked crap that didn't fit into my worldview when I'd read through cover to cover previously, but I really don't know. After that, my religious beliefs (which had become a fairly shaky house of cards over the previous few years from sound scientific argument) finally crumbled.

This is the first year I really identify myself as an atheist with certainty, with Bill Maher's movie Religious convincing me to be more forward with my view. Though I haven't come out and identified myself as atheist to anyone in person, I did have my mom watch the movie as a hint, and I occasionally hint at it with various people I know through my jokes and comments on various subjects.

[madmom]

31. Hmmm, this really got me to thinking about my coming out party....

My family was never very religious. My brother and I went to church when we were younger, without parents, because we could walk there and most of our friends were there. Later when we moved to the big city, my mom would go with us, but another couple from the church would pick us up and drop us off. My dad never went, he said he didn't need to go to church to be good, I wonder...closet atheist? Later when I was old enough to think for myself, around 12-13, I decided I didn't want to go any more so my parents didn't make me. I started paying attention to my friend's religious habits. My best friend and next door neighbor was catholic. Only girl, two older, two younger sibs. Her father was an oral roberts freak. When ever he was on TV, she had to watch AND was quizzed after. Boys, not so much. I was deeply disturbed by that. Another friend a couple house down was also catholic but went to different church and was an only child. She got to do pretty much what she wanted and her parents always had "cocktail" parties about every Friday and Saturday night, but they were always in church on Sunday. Even my 13 year old brain thought there was something off there.

About this same time in jr high, I fell in love with science and reading. I had two fantastic teachers, Mr.Cepeck ..science, and Mr.Ward... English/lit. Adding all these incidentals together I guess it was inevitable that I began to really question religion. I never really admitted it to myself though until a many years later.

I really don't remember when I decided I was undoubtedly atheist, but I do remember being insulted and berated my my mother-in-law because I didn't go to church. I never really told her or any of my in laws that I don't believe, we are not on speaking terms because of a blow up about my daughter (who was over 21) and I having a margarita at home with our tacos one night, m-i-l went postal on us. She's all about this alcohol is the devil's brew crap. As far as my parents, the subject never really came up with my dad, one of the few that didn't, he likes to debate..loudly..lol. My mom and I were talking once and she said something about region, I don't really remember what and I said "I don't to the god thing" and she just said "Oh" and that was all. My husband and daughter are both atheists, my son? who knows, he is still searching I guess.

I'm still an avid reader and still love science.

[montanto]

32. Always been out: never been in.

No story to tell, really. I was never exposed to religion, I have never been to "church" as such. Well, that ain't quite true, I was baptized about 50 years ago, but as I was only a few days old it wasn't a choice of mine. No idea what possessed my parents as that may have been the last time they were ever in church. (been in a lot of churches in Europe, I like the art and architecture. to a certain extent I am thankful for religion as a repository of such stuff. If people hadn't celebrated god or gods, what would there be to look at?) Always lived on the west coast where there is little pressure to conform, and I'm thankful for that too. I've read the bible a few times as a literary curiosity and for "one-liner" responses to pushers, but I rarely even encounter that. Most of the people that I am close to (wife, best friends) are atheists, and other friends are either totally silent or so low key about faith that it doesn't register. It's weird, but for me religion is neither positive nor negative, it's just zero. The greatest conflict I have ever had over my lack of faith went like this:

S.I.L.(born again christian): "I wish you guys (her sister and I) could believe, so that we could all be together in heaven."

Me: "Look, I love you, too, but I wouldn't want to spend eternity at the dinner table with you."

[humankarenball]

33. I was raised baptist

some general, some free-will, some southern. I was always asking "too many" questions and was growing weary of god's mysterious, unexplainable ways as answers. The straw that finally broke the camel's back was when I had my first child, looked into his face for the first time, and thought "original sin is horse shit, and all the rest of it, too."

All our family and friends know I and my husband (of 22 years now) are atheist. They know our 3 children are atheist. It bothers them because they think we're all hell bound, but the come-back-to-jesus conversations died in futility a long time ago.

There've really been only 2 things that have bothered me much about being "out." First, the number of conversations I've had with people who are SO SHOCKED that godless heathens could have such a long and successful marriage, and produce such lovely children. How did we manage it all without any moral code? Gah. And second, as many of my friends' only Out Atheist friend, I get to be the target for some really stupid and offensive questions... If you're an atheist, how do you celebrate birthdays? Um... with cake? =/

[salparadise1000]

36. War on Birthdays

I can't even begin to imagine what they mean by that question. There are many dumb questions (although not so many where I live) but usually you can imagine where the question comes from (what happens when you die?). As far as I know there is no War on Birthdays, unless of course it's the birth of Christ. Maybe Bill O'Reily should investigate.

[Act_of_Reparation]

35. Mine was surprisingly easy...

Though I was raised Catholic, I never experienced a deconversion. From an early age, I grew to distrust the "wisdom" of the clergy (as a kid, I had a knack for snooping out hypocrisy in authority figures), and it logically followed to take suspect whatever they told me about life, love, and the world. Still, I didn't consider myself an atheist at the time... mostly because I didn't know such a word existed.

My father was never terribly religious, but my mother was raised in a Catholic household so strict it bordered on abusive. Fortuitously, as I was becoming aware of the atheist movement, and increasingly suspicious of religion, my mother was going through a deconversion. By the time I was ready to declare my disbelief to her, she was ready to declare her disbelief to me.

I am the eldest of four children. All were raised in the same Catholic environment. All of them are atheists. We aren't sure what our father believes, but whatever it is, he doesn't feel compelled to talk about it, much less force it on anyone.

However, I can't say I live openly as an atheist. My grandfather and I have a very close relationship despite his belief. He's 91 now, and doesn't have much time left. I know if I declared my disbelief to him, it would break his heart. I just can't bring myself to do that to the man.

Also, I can't be open about my atheism at work. All of my coworkers are at the very least religious, and most are of the Bible-humping Protestant persuasion. I know if I come out to them, their opinion of me will decline, and they will find an excuse to fire me.

[salparadise1000]

37. Bible-humping :-)

[brooklynite]

38. I walked out of Sunday School at age 8....

...and was never afraid to say I didn't believe after that, even when I went to a conservative American Expat school (army and Embassy brats), or when I was the liberal long-haired guy at the sort of Boarding School Mittens went to (I was one of two people who wouldn't sit and pray or stand and sing during evening Chapel programs).

[Evoman]

39. Never believed.

Dad is an atheist and mom was a catholic who never went to church. We were immigrants from Argentina, so my mom had no church connections, nor did she speak English well enough to feel comfortable joining a church.

I was a little science astronomy buff who never gave religion much thought. When I heard adults speak about Jesus, for the most part I thought it was just lip service. Like Santa Claus. Joined a fundie youth group briefly with a fundie friend of mine in my early teen (they did fun stuff and there were some hotties in the group). That was the first time I realized there were actually people who believed in Adam, eve, Noah and all that crap. Literally believed. Blew me away. I actually laughed at the youth leader...I had to think fast to pretend I was laughing at something else, but never really fit in after that. Did get some play with one of the religious girls, which was awesome. Kiss and boob grab. Sigh.

Everybody in my life basically knows I'm an atheist. I'm not afraid of people finding out. Especially now that I have cancer....I am completely honest about my feelings and thoughts. I live as true to myself as I can. I used to be a bit of a liar (not horrible mind you, but I had an ego and kept it well fed)', and now I think I'm one of the most disturbingly honest people I know lol.

Life is too short to be fake. And religion is the fakest, biggest lie I know.

[salparadise1000]

40. sorry to hear about your cancer

I imagine you get a lot of people saying "I will pray for you". Hope I am not intruding by asking how you respond to that.
It seems it would be hard to take offense at a well meaning friend. You did mention that you have felt freer to share your views.

[Evoman]

41. Eh, hear it all the time. Doesnt bug me worth shit.

I let people deal with their concerns however they like. If they wanna say a prayer, I tell em to go for it. Life is too short to upset myself with the goings ons in other peoples brains. Oh, they know I don't buy their bullshit, but if they not care, neither do I.

[daaron]

42. Recently came out to my GF's family in Missouri.

Hoping to avoid further inquiries regarding my complex belief-system, if it can even be called that anymore. I was raised by an atheist and agnostic, though baptized Methodist at 12, and went through an atheist spurt in H.S., by the time my first son was born I was studying Judaism religiously, but was led along a merry path through history to a peculiar amalgam I liked to call agnostic Christianity - accepting that Christianity has an origin, but disavowing certain knowledge of what it might be. Joseph Campbell and John Allegro influenced my thinking at a certain age, and I think that was the beginning of the unraveling of belief. Now I may have questions and curiosities about early Christianity, and an interest in the subject, but they seem to have replaced whatever beliefs I held about them, somewhere along the line.

Saying, "It's complicated," was just provoking more questions in my new situation. I gave "I'm an atheist" a try and abracadabra, no more questions about my beliefs! Worked like a charm.

[salparadise1000]

43. but what if GF becomes Wife?

Don't know if that is likely, but hypothetically I would think they might have a different view of situation. Some potential in-laws would actively try to undermine the relationship,and you might never know.

[daaron]

44. Yeah, we're staying unmarried for now -->

Plus her brother's gay wedding was a huge hit with most of the family - at least everyone who was given a ticket and sweet motel room in Palm Springs. They're liberal Christians, mostly - at least the nearest neighbors are. The other aunts are the ones that still worry me. I'll keep y'all updated!

[Taverner]

45. Out and my family doesn't get it

At least my brother, Baptist Minister, sees it as a opportunity for interfaith/inter-non-faith dialogue and accepts it