Bereavement
Related: About this forumMy son passed
March 6, 2020. He had the same type of brain cancer that Senators Kennedy and McCain had. His was in the thalamus and grew into the brain stem. His brain is being donated to Ivy Brain Tumor Center at Barrow Neurological Institute in Phoenix.
50 Shades Of Blue
(10,035 posts)essaynnc
(801 posts)I cannot imagine what it would be like to lose a son.
CrispyQ
(36,501 posts)dewsgirl
(14,961 posts)MelissaB
(16,420 posts)I lost my mom to the same disease.
LiberalBrooke
(527 posts)InAbLuEsTaTe
(24,122 posts)Kali
(55,019 posts)no words...
gademocrat7
(10,665 posts)pandr32
(11,605 posts)livetohike
(22,157 posts)who knew and loved your son. May every good memory comfort you .
LoisB
(7,222 posts)Leghorn21
(13,526 posts)And I am so very pleased to see that your son's brain will keep moving forward to help other people who become afflicted with this cancer.
THANK YOU
empedocles
(15,751 posts)RestoreAmerica2020
(3,438 posts)barbtries
(28,810 posts)If you want to talk, DM me with your number. My daughter died in 2001; sometimes during this wretched time of grief it can be helpful to talk with people who have also experienced the loss of a child. it can be so lonely. crying for you and wishing you strength and peace down the road,
OhNo-Really
(3,985 posts)Duncan Grant
(8,282 posts)vercetti2021
(10,156 posts)I am so so sorry. God that's so awful
Faux pas
(14,690 posts)for all who knew and loved him.
cyclonefence
(4,483 posts)I'm so sorry.
TruckFump
(5,812 posts)Deepest sympathy.
ancianita
(36,130 posts)Bettie
(16,120 posts)I hope you and your family can find some peace in the coming days, be gentle with yourself.
Jarqui
(10,130 posts)RT Atlanta
(2,517 posts)thank you and your family for making the donation to the institute as this will certainly help others.
hugs!
AJT
(5,240 posts)madaboutharry
(40,218 posts)Wishing peace to you and your family.
SunSeeker
(51,658 posts)matt819
(10,749 posts)No parent should survive their children. It's every parent's fear. My mother had to bury her oldest son, my brother, who died six years ago of brain cancer (though I don't know they type), which had dogged him for more than 20 years.
So sorry for your loss.
Mr.Bill
(24,317 posts)My wife's sister died from this a few years ago. She was 56 and the youngest of five siblings.
Ohiogal
(32,045 posts)Please accept my heartfelt condolences.
Stuart G
(38,439 posts)janterry
(4,429 posts)wryter2000
(46,076 posts)Losing a child is tragic.
CaptainTruth
(6,600 posts)yonder
(9,669 posts)you're going through and offer my condolences.
democrank
(11,100 posts)May all who knew and cared about your son find peace.
FailureToCommunicate
(14,020 posts)have to go thru this.
May you find the strength to go on someday, sometime.
My younger brother passed away from cancer.
Cancer sucks.
flying-skeleton
(698 posts)Richard D
(8,761 posts)True Blue American
(17,988 posts)I understand how you feel. God Bless.
Botany
(70,566 posts)much love
TygrBright
(20,763 posts)The pain of losing a child is beyond words.
It's not even "understandable." But it is so real and so overwhelming.
sadly,
Bright
Maraya1969
(22,493 posts)SergeStorms
(19,204 posts)I can't imagine the pain of losing a son or daughter. Stay strong, my friend, and stay connected to your DU family. We're always here for you.
emmaverybo
(8,144 posts)Freedomofspeech
(4,227 posts)Sending you love and peace.
ohtransplant
(1,488 posts)God bless him, you and your loved ones. Words are insufficient.
I'm at Brain Tumor survivor myself. If there's any way I can help, feel free to pm me.
AllyCat
(16,216 posts)SammyWinstonJack
(44,130 posts)MLAA
(17,318 posts)Chainfire
(17,611 posts)That is the thing I fear most in life.
redwitch
(14,946 posts)Love and light to you and all who grieve for him.
lunatica
(53,410 posts)I lost my son a few years ago so I know what youre going through. Its good that you donated his brain to study this disease. Many lives will be saved because of it.
In time your memories of him will be the mostly joyful ones.
dawg day
(7,947 posts)OldManTarHeel
(435 posts)May the Lord give you strength during this most difficult time.
bucolic_frolic
(43,257 posts)and brave of you to post. Try to recall the good times, and thanks for helping research.
handmade34
(22,757 posts)we lost a son last year and another was in an accident with a TBI...
I always think of Joe Biden's words when talking to families that have lost a child... "...when thinking of your loved one...there will come a day when a smile comes to your lips before a tear to your eye"
I still cry a bit when that smile comes
AirmensMom
(14,648 posts)Butterflylady
(3,547 posts)God be with you and take one day at a time.
PCIntern
(25,576 posts)At a loss for words. Take care.
tavernier
(12,396 posts)I hope that you can feel and accept our wishes of love and healing and light for you in this your darkest time.
Raster
(20,998 posts)Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin
(108,157 posts)It's never easy losing a relative who's younger than you.
Drifter
(4,751 posts)I lost my daughter in an accident last November.
There is nothing I can say that will ease your pain.
I can only urge you to surround yourself with loving friends and family, and most importantly take care of yourself and your family.
My Deepest Sympathy
Drifter
riverbendviewgal
(4,253 posts)I can feel your pain because my son died when he was 26. He had glioblastoma multiform, the same as your son, Ted Kennedy, beau Biden and Gord Downie of the Tragically hip. Downie had the same doctor of my son.
In time the deepest hurt will subside but it hurts intensely like now for me being aware of your son's passing. I hope he passed peacefully.
ms liberty
(8,592 posts)Died January 7th, 2020 of the same thing, a glioblastoma. None of us as fans knew until after bc he was a really private person, but he may have been diagnosed before Gord died I think, and the bands were acquainted from what I've read. Rush made a public donation to the cause around that time, before Gord passed.
I am so sorry for your loss. My MIL lost her daughter and I know it changes a mother forever to live thru such a tragedy.
riverbendviewgal
(4,253 posts)brer cat
(24,592 posts)My nephew died from the same cancer. I hope your son is at peace and free from suffering.
onecaliberal
(32,887 posts)💔
Mersky
(4,986 posts)Just thinking of what to say, and its hard cuz its one of those turns in life that isnt fair. Im mournful with you. Am sorry for your loss and what you must be going through right now. Is also a reminder to be kind to those we encounter, as you never know what folks are dealing with at any given time. Made a small donation to the institute you mentioned, as I am thankful for those striving to find a cure, which includes your family.
colorado_ufo
(5,737 posts)My son is fighting Stage IV cancer, a different and very rare kind. On a clinical trial now.
Duppers
(28,125 posts)Sending cyber best wishes.
colorado_ufo
(5,737 posts)ChazII
(6,205 posts)on how you son is doing.
catbyte
(34,426 posts)irisblue
(33,018 posts)CatMor
(6,212 posts)it is so heartbreaking to lose a child no matter what their age.
zeusdogmom
(996 posts)cancer is an awful disease
LisaM
(27,827 posts)What a terrible thing to happen to you. Again, I'm very sorry.
dlk
(11,575 posts)I pray for peace and comfort for you and your family.
still_one
(92,366 posts)TwistedTinkerbelle
(137 posts)As one who has known the pain of losing two children my heart and prayers are with you and yours. May you find comfort and healing from the words on this thread and the days to come.
live love laugh
(13,124 posts)Hekate
(90,773 posts)Peace
marble falls
(57,157 posts)FM123
(10,054 posts)DownriverDem
(6,231 posts)My brother passed from cancer of the brain. His was related to lung cancer that they blamed on Agent Orange exposure in Viet Nam.
vishnura
(247 posts)StarryNite
(9,459 posts)sdfernando
(4,937 posts)I cannot fathom what you are going through.
Trueblue Texan
(2,440 posts)My thoughts are with you and hoping you are surrounded by love, healing, and comfort from the pain of your loss.
Fresh_Start
(11,330 posts)I hope you can surround yourself with comforting people and love.
Moostache
(9,897 posts)Thank you to your family for donating his brain for research.
In a small way, his loss will benefit the future and that is a priceless gift...
IADEMO2004
(5,557 posts)Atticus
(15,124 posts)murielm99
(30,755 posts)No parent should go through this.
lillypaddle
(9,581 posts)how painful it must be for you and the family. Deepest condolences.
Tanuki
(14,920 posts)you, he, and all your loved ones have been through. I am certain you did everything possible to support him and that he knew how thoroughly he was loved. He will always be a part of you. Your donation to Barrow will help light the way for future treatment. Blessed be his memory forever.
Duppers
(28,125 posts)Losing a child is the most heartbreaking thing. Sending cyberhugs.
sinkingfeeling
(51,470 posts)JPPaverage
(510 posts)Losing a loved one is never easy. May your so rest in peace and let's hope that some good will come out of this. And I sincerely hope you will persevere as well.
Scarsdale
(9,426 posts)I lost my younger son in 2010. The hurt never leaves. We never expect to lose one of our children before us. As Sylvester Stallone said when he lost his son "I have joined a club that nobody wants to join" Please accept my deepest sympathy over your loss. We just have to go on, one day at a time.
flying_wahini
(6,641 posts)My heart goes out to you.
steve2470
(37,457 posts)angstlessk
(11,862 posts)Parents don't even contemplate this, when it does, it's devastating, so very sorry for you have this grief.
peacebuzzard
(5,181 posts)no words. except I am sorry for your terrible loss.
KT2000
(20,586 posts)Peace to you and yours.
LaurenOlimina
(1,165 posts)Losing a child is awful.
Dem2theMax
(9,653 posts)I know that nothing can take away the pain and grief you are feeling. Please surround yourself with people who love you. And please take care of yourself.
When I lost my parents, I finally learned that I had to be kind to my soul.
So you be kind to your soul. I wish I could give you a real hug.
sheshe2
(83,855 posts)mfcorey1
(11,001 posts)Prosper
(761 posts)SayItLoud
(1,702 posts)Today I will take some of you both with me in my thoughts and life.
Granny M
(1,395 posts)Sending thoughts of comfort and peace to you.
sarge43
(28,942 posts)Danmel
(4,921 posts)Sending love and sympathy.
CaptYossarian
(6,448 posts)peacefreak2.0
(1,023 posts)I lost my brother to gliobastoma. Such a cruel disease.
ismnotwasm
(41,998 posts)I have no good words. May you find a measure of peace in your time of grief
gopiscrap
(23,763 posts)I can't even imagine. I hold you in prayers and healing wishes
No Vested Interest
(5,167 posts)Jim__
(14,083 posts)snacker
(3,619 posts)Andy Canuck
(283 posts)Theres no greater loss.
thucythucy
(8,086 posts)My lifelong partner died last year of the same awful disease.
You have my heartfelt sympathy.
ChazII
(6,205 posts)but where in the brain was the tumor. We have a friend who also has the tumor in the thalamus and met someone whose tumor is in their frontal lobe.
I am sorry for your loss as well.
thucythucy
(8,086 posts)of her frontal lobes, a so-called "butterfly tumor."
Its location affected memory and impulse control. Radiation and chemo kept it stable for almost four years, but then stopped working.
She died at home, for which I'm grateful. We had excellent medical care, and then an excellent hospice team.
The grief is still overwhelming at times. But I'm also grateful for having had her in my life.
ChazII
(6,205 posts)but grew to brainstem. He was at home as well. Being in the thalamus his speech, breathing, eating, etc... were effected. His uncle and I took care of him for the past year. He also had excellent palliative and hospice team. Like your partner, Jay did here at home with me holding his hand as he took his last breaths.
I helped get him into the body bag and his uncle helped take the body from the hospital bed to the gurney.
Bayard
(22,128 posts)I am so sorry. I hope, after awhile, you can celebrate his life.
TEB
(12,872 posts)polmaven
(9,463 posts)and your entire family!
DonaldsRump
(7,715 posts)happy feet
(871 posts)Harker
(14,031 posts)and through the advancements in understanding to come.
Dukkha
(7,341 posts)I just lost my mother to the same glioblastoma brain tumor two weeks ago. It is a very difficult time your going through. Avail yourself to the support here it will help. I can't offer you words to beguile you from the grief of a loss so overwhelming it will still linger but I hope it helps to know others empathize with your situation.
58Sunliner
(4,391 posts)PJMcK
(22,045 posts)My heart goes out to you, ChazII. My son is 24 and healthy and I've often lived in fear of the terrible things that could befall him.
You must be heartbroken! I hope you and your family will find peace.
ChazII
(6,205 posts)for your kinds words of encouragement and support.
I am also a member of Eastern Star which is part of the Masonic family. Instead of flowers I have requested that donations be made to the Shriners Transportation fund. This fund helps pay expenses for the families that travel out of state for their child's care.
DarthDem
(5,256 posts)My very, very best wishes to you and your family in this time.
greatauntoftriplets
(175,749 posts)budkin
(6,713 posts)I cannot even imagine the pain. May peace find you.
mac56
(17,574 posts)jb5150
(1,182 posts)I hope your donation leads to better treatments .. and, perhaps one day, a cure.
Captain Zero
(6,823 posts)I will hope that time and your reflections can bring the comfort you will seek.
bluedigger
(17,087 posts)keopeli
(3,524 posts)Mazeltov Cocktail
(569 posts)Thank you for your courage in allowing organ donation for research. It says so much about you, that you think of others during this time.
panader0
(25,816 posts)iluvtennis
(19,868 posts)Gothmog
(145,489 posts)ailsagirl
(22,898 posts)joost5
(421 posts)bdamomma
(63,917 posts)to you and your family.
radical noodle
(8,012 posts)by filling the emptiness there with happy memories of him.
Hugs of comfort.
riversedge
(70,282 posts)Peregrine Took
(7,417 posts)iwannaknow
(210 posts)Doreen
(11,686 posts)volstork
(5,403 posts)Chellee
(2,101 posts)tazkcmo
(7,300 posts)The passing of our children hurts the most and longest, imo. Hang in there and sending you all the positive energy I have.
BadgerMom
(2,771 posts)Words fail.
Backseat Driver
(4,394 posts)rurallib
(62,441 posts)Our deepest sympathy
world wide wally
(21,753 posts)Nac Mac Feegle
(971 posts)Words are such poor things, but they are all we have.
NurseJackie
(42,862 posts)FuzzyRabbit
(1,969 posts)JohnnyLib2
(11,212 posts)May you find comfort in memories of better times, and in the contribution to potential cures.
treefarmers
(24 posts)N_E_1 for Tennis
(9,773 posts)BigmanPigman
(51,623 posts)and they were grateful her pain finally stopped. They focused on that to bet through it. Very sad. Take care of yourself.
DFW
(54,436 posts)I lost a cousin, an aunt, and a brother-in-law to glioblastoma. It has no mercy.
ChazII
(6,205 posts)we were shocked. He did not make it to the one year diagnosis.
voteearlyvoteoften
(1,716 posts)Sending love your way...
ramen
(790 posts)I know words don't do a lot here but know that we're thinking of you.
Dave in VA
(2,039 posts)apcalc
(4,465 posts)denbot
(9,901 posts)blm
(113,083 posts)stuffmatters
(2,574 posts)OregonBlue
(7,754 posts)I truly feel for you.
Miigwech
(3,741 posts)femmedem
(8,205 posts)My heart aches for you and your family.
Soph0571
(9,685 posts)sellitman
(11,607 posts)My oldest had two brain tumor operations. The original removed a tumor the size of a small tangerine.
Both were benign. Both were encapsulated. You could say we were lucky. In hindsight we were.
I know somewhat of what you have been through. I cannot imagine your outcome.
My deepest regards to you and your family and friends.
Kevin
cp
(6,652 posts)LiberalLoner
(9,762 posts)Uben
(7,719 posts).that's tough one. I lost a niece this week to a traffic accident. Semi ran into her from behind...instant death.
raging moderate
(4,308 posts)How awful, for him and for you! Of course we are all holding him and you in our hearts!
calimary
(81,437 posts)Im so sorry to hear this. Youve made sure to allow him to make a contribution of the most selfless kind, that will help others in a future hell never see. That is love of the purest and most generous kind.
Dustlawyer
(10,497 posts)get better over time.
There will come a time when thinking of him will bring a smile instead of a tear. Hang in there to smile again!
locks
(2,012 posts)35 years ago. He would be 60 this year. I will never forget the joy he brought to our family and though I wish I was playing with great grandkids he never had I am so thankful for the time we had with him.
May you find comfort in your memories.
Fla Dem
(23,731 posts)Sending a warm and caring hug your way.
DesertRat
(27,995 posts)Sending my deepest condolences to you and yours.
warmfeet
(3,321 posts)My condolences.
iamateacher
(1,089 posts)My wonderful friend died from brain cancer and also my mentor in my internship has it--and is 3 months over what they told her to expect. My sincere condolences.
mithnanthy
(1,725 posts)...for your loss.
ms liberty
(8,592 posts)I am so sorry for your loss. May you find peace and healing.
Pacifist Patriot
(24,654 posts)The Polack MSgt
(13,191 posts)samnsara
(17,634 posts)..please let us know how you are doing. My husbands father and brother passed of the same thing.
Damn Cancer.
Frustratedlady
(16,254 posts)My deepest condolences.
skylucy
(3,740 posts)Ilsa
(61,697 posts)AZ8theist
(5,487 posts)Your selfless donation to the Barrow Institute in Phoenix is a wonderful way to commemorate your son. They are amazing people doing amazing work. If your son can help in any way towards advancing research, I applaud you for doing this.
I had brain surgery at Barrow in 2014 and the treatment, the people, the care and compassion was incredible. I, fortunately, was cured of my condition. Unfortunately, your son was unable to recover. Please be assured, however, that your incredible donation will advance the science and hopefully reduce another families distress in a time of need.
You are a saint for doing what you did. Again, my sincerest sympathies for your loss.
ChazII
(6,205 posts)able to help you. They truly are a wonderful place. We learned that the group called Research for Life will use Jay's entire body. Barrow will use his brain. Research for life will study my son's neurofibromatosis and because he also has kyphosis/scoliosis orthopedic studies will be done.
The only draw back for me because I love to learn is that I will not get any information on the studies his body is helping. I am hoping that Dr. Sanai, his neurosurgeon, will recognize Jay's brain. Dr. Sanai is doing research and Jay's body will be part of that research project.
AZ8theist
(5,487 posts)I suffered for at least 6 years with trigeminal neuralgia. The attacks would cause excruciating pain. Facial pain that is indescribable. Pain that would knock a 250lb man to his knees. Medication wasn't working anymore. I eventually elected to have MVD surgery at Barrow. It changed my life. It was a cure.
While I grieve with you (I have a 23 yr old son and can't imagine what you're going through) I am teary eyed with pride due to your sacrifice and donation. Please be comforted in knowing that your son will help others. While you may not ever know what contribution your son made to the advancement of science and medicine, rest assured HE WILL CONTRIBUTE.
Best wishes,
Your friend, AZ8theist
Sea Turtle
(69 posts)His brain so that doctors can learn how to help others. More (((hugs))) I am so sorry for your loss.
StevieM
(10,500 posts)jimlup
(7,968 posts)I can't imagine
Tumbulu
(6,292 posts)Sending my condolences
Dan
(3,579 posts)As I get older, I better understand the pain that comes with losing someone. I am so sorry for you and your family, while the pain will never go away - at least you will have the memories of times shared.
montana_hazeleyes
(3,424 posts)pazzyanne
(6,556 posts)What a wonderful gift to help solve this horrible cancer. Thank you!
Hugs and prayers for you all!
peggysue2
(10,839 posts)My husband and I had a good friend who died with glioblastoma last January. Hard loss. But for a son? Devastating. We nearly lost our youngest son, so I can only imagine the depth of your loss. Btw, I think your donation to the Brain Tumor Center is extraordinarily generous and brave.
The best to you and your family.
mahina
(17,693 posts)To him and all around you. God Im sorry.
Progressive Jones
(6,011 posts)Heartstrings
(7,349 posts)May you forever keep happy memories of his life in your heart....
samir.g
(835 posts)cate94
(2,813 posts)Sending love and comfort to you and yours.
maryallen
(2,172 posts)My daughter was killed in an automobile accident when she was 17. You never get over it, but as time passes, the pain does not dominate every waking moment of your life. If you have other children, you realize that they need you, so you gradually heal and slowly learn how to carry on.
ChazII
(6,205 posts)Your words bring comfort and wisdom. Jay's Godmother still has her parents who are in the early 90's, her brothers who are in their early 60's and her one son who is four years younger than Jay. Losing Jay is her first major loss. Your words will help me remember that she needs me as much as I need her.
wackadoo wabbit
(1,167 posts)I was hoping, for your sake and his, that maybe there'd be a miracle.
I'm sending you a virtual hug (I wish it were real). Please know that I'm thinking of you and your son.
ChazII
(6,205 posts)from DU are gratefully accepted. Knowing that I am in your thoughts brings comfort.
MrScorpio
(73,631 posts)I am so very sorry for your loss
Squinch
(50,993 posts)PAMod
(906 posts)snowybirdie
(5,233 posts)May you find peace
Meowmee
(5,164 posts)no_hypocrisy
(46,159 posts)((((HUGS))))
Jane Austin
(9,199 posts)Bless you and yours as you mourn your son.
CentralMass
(15,265 posts)Dennis Donovan
(18,770 posts)Tarheel_Dem
(31,237 posts)malaise
(269,157 posts)denvine
(802 posts)May he R.I.P. and I hope time will slowly heal your broken heart. With deepest sympathy!
cilla4progress
(24,760 posts)sorrow.
Thanks for sharing with us.
BobTheSubgenius
(11,564 posts)As it's all I have, though, I want to tell you I'm on the verge of tears. I wish I had more.
ChazII
(6,205 posts)They help me get through my tears.