So strange. In the last year i could not send political info or neat ideas

[applegrove]

to my brother cause he was too stressed with online teaching to use up the bandwidth and he lived far away. I did forget at times. But mostly i adjusted my thinking and did not send him stuff. He died in late April. In the last 5 days every time something really salient in politics or current affaires catches me, thoughts of my brother flood. Like my brain now has a facebook link to his soul. Like he's right there. I'm back to thinking of him whenever something is interesting. I don't want to lose this even though it is upsetting. I know grief and at some point in a long while it will not be so upsetting. How do you keep such a relationship going?

[Backseat Driver]

1. Dear applegrove

If energy is neither created nor destroyed, just changed, it's very "real" that your energy and his met often in the past to puzzle stuff out. That energy actually is still flowing between you as only his inert body is no longer physically present. I'm thinking that you and he will most certainly keep the relationship of your energies going - perhaps a quantum thing. When this "human" thing is cast off, those energies will be able to find the other and adjust and bind with those "others' energies, however changed, that touched our existence and it will be such a glorious conversation to revel in long after we shed that "human" costuming, and however our energies may change! That's why he taught so furiously but without care for the structure in which it was contained. Smile and be joyful in that hope; that relationship will flourish - it's sustainable and renewable in the winds and song of the universe.

[applegrove]

3. Thank you. We did not puzzle things out. We just shared. He was a sharer

from the time i was a kid.

[NJCher]

12. That

Was beautiful, backseat driver. One of the most thoughtful responses I’ve ever read on this topic.

[IA8IT]

2. Wife died five years ago and is still omnipresent.

Watching old movies I still hear her laugh. I have no idea how to stop the relationship and it's not what I'd want. Hope you find your peace.

[applegrove]

4. I hope in 5 years he is still at every 'aha' or 'neat-o' or 'of course' moment.

He was a big one for counterintuitive ideas when i was younger.

[BigmanPigman]

5. I wish I had the answer too.

When you figure out how to do it, let me know.

[applegrove]

8. I will try to reinforce it and think of him and them send an email to the rest of my family.

Last edited Fri May 14, 2021, 03:27 AM - Edit history (1)

[pazzyanne]

6. "Like my brain now has a facebook link to his soul."

2 years ago I lost my Mom and my oldest brother 6 months apart. I had almost daily phone contact with them. When certain things now come up, my first reaction is, " I need to call them." I like your idea of a "link" to them.

[applegrove]

9. Yes. It is a more direct link and even faster than the world wide web.

So sorry for your loss.

[pazzyanne]

21. Sorry for your loss as well.

It is always hard to lose people close to us.

[Tree Lady]

7. Sounds like he was your person

My dad was my go to, for good, for bad I always called him. He died in 2000 before everyone had cell phones to text. So I found myself the first few years reaching for the phone only to remember he wasn't available.

Now 21 years later I have gotten use to him being gone, still miss our long walks.

Maybe whenever you feel like telling him something you journal to him.

[applegrove]

10. I am close to a few people. My twin brother will get my links and ideas.

We have to fix his computer because for some reason it does not render any link i send to him.

[SheltieLover]

11. Of courss he's "right there"

Where else would he be?.

You can likely keep it going by focusing attention on him. After all, our energy flows to where our attention is directed. 👍

[applegrove]

16. True this.

[SheltieLover]

20. I did an internship in bereavement at a hospice

The #1 issue was that people felt they were "going crazy" because they could sense their departed loved one with them.

Amazing, the power of religious teachings about "death," & the empowerment that occurs when one is "given permission" to think freely.

[littlemissmartypants]

13. Dear, applegrove. I wish I knew what could make things better.

There's no doubt that if they were able we'd have them live forever. I have a voice mail of my Dad wishing me happy birthday that I will never delete. Hold on to whatever it takes. Stay encouraged. You're loved and you are not alone.



❤

https://www.democraticunderground.com/1285768

[applegrove]

17. Vibes to you LMSP. Vibes to you.

[NJCher]

14. Google billy fingers

In that book, a sister learns how to talk with her dead brother.

[applegrove]

18. Not ready for reading up on grief yet. But thanks.

[cate94]

15. Dreams

Are my last connections to those I’ve lost. Nevertheless I frequently talk to those on the other side as if they were next to me. Sometimes, I know exactly how they would respond, sometimes no. It’s hard losing the people you love,

[applegrove]

19. Sometimes my brother is next to me. Sometimes that he is gone comes to me as a shock.

I just know that whenever I reached out with a flash of insight (self or something i read) he is there. It changes. It is not consistant. I miss the impractical egghead.