Hot off the presses! " Bernie Sanders Photo-Gate Stuns Millions of Americans"

[CoffeeCat]

BERNIE SANDERS PHOTO-GATE STUNS MILLIONS OF AMERICANS
Millions express pain and suffering due to Sander's lies

------------------

February 12, 2016--Washington, DC--In a vivid fusion of fraud and deception--Bernie Sanders has lied to America.

The disheveled and dishonorable presidential candidate has lied about being front and center in a photograph during his tenure at the University of Chicago.

Calling into question every word Sander's has ever said--innocent Americans express outrage and trauma inflicted by the evolving Photo-Gate scandal.

"Oh my God, Becky. This is worse than our sorority canceling Krispy Kreme Wednesday," said Emma an ardent Bernie Sanders opponent. "I always knew that guy was a liar. Free college, my ass. Now we know he has memory issues. Those are the worst. I'm so blogging about this."

In addition to lying about his inclusion in the University of Chicago photograph, additional Sanders photographs are being scrutinized.

Sander's forth-grade class photo is being investigated by forensic investigators after six classmates came forward to question the authenticity of Sander's claim that he is pictured in the group photo. David Crandall, who attended Brooklyn Heights Elementary said, "It ain't him. I don't recall Bernie ever combing his hair. That kid has combed hair."

Thousand of complaints were emailed to Mark Zuckerberg after Sander's opponents alleged that his official Facebook photo is actually a picture of Larry David at a Seinfeld cast party. "Trust has been shattered!" exclaimed Jennifer Hollingsworth, a recent Wellesley graduate and founder of the organization, SLTD (Sanders Lied, Thousands Died).

The Justice Department dispatched a team to investigate photos from Sander's high school yearbook, as well and vacation photos of Sanders and his brother at Mt. Rushmore. The Department revealed today that it has confiscated dozens of photo albums from a rented storage garage in Brooklyn. An investigator familiar with the case said, "It doesn't look good. We found video of him eating mashed carrots as a baby. His whole life may be a lie."

Clearly, Sanders and his integrity have been damaged beyond repair. The Sanders campaign has refused to comment. Reporters with ABC News filmed Sanders outside his campaign offices in Nevada--but the network refuses to run the video because they're doubting that it was Sanders who was filmed.

A nation attempts to move forward as the wake of horrendous Photo-Gate damage unfolds and worsens.

--30--

(EDITOR'S NOTE: In case it wasn't painfully obvious, this is satire and mocking of those who accused Senator Sanders of lying about the University of Chicago photo. Clearly, that is Sanders in the photo. The photographer who took the picture has stepped forward to account that it was Sanders in the photo. For more info: http://www.phaidon.com/agenda/photography/articles/2016/february/02/when-danny-lyon-met-bernie-sanders/)

[PeoViejo]

1. I think you just stepped on your Dick.

[CoffeeCat]

2. LOL! This is satire and a well-deserved MOCKING to those who questioned Sanders about the photo

Clearly, that is Sanders in the University of Chicago photo in question.

In the photo that the Swiftboat-style attackers allege wasn't Bernie--you can clearly see an authenticated photo which shows Sanders wearing the SAME SWEATER AND WHITE SHIRT IN BOTH PHOTOS.

They tried to Swiftboat him.

They're absurdity and their lies is so over the top---that it needs to mocked. And mocked often.

[PeoViejo]

11. Oops! That was my Dick you stepped-on.

I took the bait.

If Bernie tried some prank like that, he's be crucified..chop..chop.

[beam me up scottie]

3. Brilliant satire!

[CoffeeCat]

4. These dunderheads make it so easy.

It's wild, if you think about it.

They've got no dirt on Sanders. None whatsoever.

So they have to try to "Swiftboat him" with lies that were debunked within 24 hours of releasing their lame attempt.

I mean, if you're going to go balls to the wall and pay off four "witnesses" (wink, wink) who would claim that the photograph wasn't of Sanders--you should probably conduct some due diligence and find...oh, I don't know....THE PHOTOGRAPHER WHO TOOK THE PICTURE!!

LOL!

[Merryland]

6. the rise of social media since the last election

is making it easy to call out lies. Capehart & John Lewis need to correct their respective statements.

[CoffeeCat]

10. It's amazing that The Washington Post and Time Magazine haven't issued full retractions

Capehart's personal attack on Bernie was so off-the charts. Even before the photographer had stepped forward to end the controversy, by revealing that the photo is of Sanders--Capehart accused Sanders of lying.

"But that’s not Bernie Sanders in the photo. It is Bruce Rappaport," wrote Capehart.

Capehart capped off his article with this finish, "What’s at issue is Sanders’s misleading use of a photograph to burnish already solid credentials. For a candidate who garnered 92 percent of New Hampshire Democratic voters who said the most important trait for a candidate was that he or she be “honest,” the least his campaign could do is remove that photo from its Tumblr feed and stop physically placing him where he existed only in spirit."

OMG. Shameless.

I don't think they expected their little attempt at Swiftboatting to fall apart so quickly.

From now on, lame attempts to attack someone with unsubstantiated lies will be called a "Capehart".

[gregcrawford]

22. And I doubt that it is a coincidence...

... that they chose a person of color to launch this ill-fated swift boat that got stove in below the waterline in short order.

Fuck ALL y'all, Brock, Bezos, and the rest of you lying weasels.

[HooptieWagon]

35. Obviously it was coordinated Swiftboat attack by the Clinton campaign.

Capehart, Lewis's comments, David Brock (one hour after Lewis's comment) saying Lewis was being viciously attacked on social media, before news of Lewis's comments even got out and with no evidence (Correct the Record trolls most likely), and the the M$M so quick to 'report' the story.

[gregcrawford]

37. John Lewis' comments were colored by Darren Sands...

... interjecting his own characterizations between the quotes, and making his tweets sound as if Lewis was casting doubt on Bernie, which a discerning reader will clearly see was not the case. I would like to know what Lewis thinks now that he's seen this low-rent stunt, if indeed, he is aware of it. I think he's been manipulated, and he should be righteously pissed at the Clinton Campaign for misrepresenting him in such an egregious fashion.

Oh, Hill, baby, you have just torpedoed your own campaign!

[HooptieWagon]

38. Lewis perhaps didn't know of the other parts of coordinated attack.

But his comment was so loaded with innuendo, it was probably scripted for him to read...so he had to know something was up.
I'm sure Lewis was aware of Sanders civil rights activism in the early 60s, they were in Congress together for many years, and I think Lewis has been part of the Progressive Congressional Caucus. Plus, Sanders has been supportive of the Congressional Black Caucus even if not a member. IDK if they are close friends, but nothing to indicate they aren't on good terms. If Lewis was independently commenting on Sanders, he might have said something like "he was active in the movement, but our paths didn't cross then". But no, his words were carefully scripted to create doubt by innuendo.

[CoffeeCat]

13. Yep. John Kerry was Swiftboatted before the full brunt of social media was realized

I still grieve about Kerry being Swiftboatted. To think that political opponents are willing to destroy a man, his life, his integrity and his reputation--all for political gain, while knowing that they are lying--is beyond the scope of my understanding.

I don't think that people who engage in these types of evil behavior are even human any more. Something is wrong with them.

I just never though I'd see this in our own party.

This is a tipping point for me. For sure.

[JDPriestly]

20. I'm with you about John Kerry. And isn't he doing a great, great, GREAT job as Secretary

of State. He is so patient. So smart. So persistent. Can't imagine him doing anything rash and stupid. I hope that when Bernie is elected, he will consider asking John Kerry to stay on the job.

[CoffeeCat]

21. I agree about Kerry and his tenure as Secretary of State

I get the feeling that Kerry and Obama are on the same page. I also sense that they've thwarted many neocon efforts to push us and bully us into further war in the Middle East.

Love the idea of a Kerry SOS in a Sander's administration.

[HooptieWagon]

39. Yes, Kerry has been great.

Even better than I expected. I think Clinton left him quite a mess to clean up.

[beam me up scottie]

7. The photographer is pissed and rightly so, they're also implying he lied.

It doesn't get much lower than lying about someone's civil rights record.

[CoffeeCat]

12. and conveniently, they're attempting to tarnish Sander's civil-rights record and his integrity

...as we roll into South Carolina.

Boy, the internal polling from NV and SC must be a shitstorm for Clinton.

Early indications are that NV is going very, very well for Bernie. Data from Iowa and his overwhelming support from Hispanics must have hit the Clinton camp like a ton of bricks.

The poor dears.

[beam me up scottie]

36. Nothing surprises me anymore, especially when they have Brock doing their dirty work.

The man has no conscience and only cares about one thing, winning at any cost.

[Ichingcarpenter]

26. Great Satire makes you think

and this was brilliant.

[beam me up scottie]

28. It does, this should have hundreds of recs.

The swift boating will continue and satire is definitely a powerful tool to combat it. This is how we should have fought for Kerry.

Hit them with the truth and mock the liars mercilessly.

[avaistheone1]

5. Well done.

[Gregorian]

8. Next we'll be hearing how he palls around with a war criminal.

Surely that would destroy any chance he has at winning the nomination.

Yes, I am not in a comedic mood this morning. The Kissinger thing is really bothersome to those who care about human rights.

[CoffeeCat]

14. Yes, I can't wait to see what the Doofenschmirtz crowd

has up next for us all!

They're the perfect combo of evil and bungling. Highly entertaining.

"Oh my God, no one paid off the photographer who took the picture of Bernie! To the planning room! Fly monkeys fly!"

[jham123]

15. Being almost 52

and seeing my neighbors "NOT" come home in the late 60s and early 70s....I remember all too well.

The fact that Clinton would buddy up to Kissinger, it just reeks the fact that she hasn't a clue about the struggle of the 60s and the entire progressive movement, it also firms her up as "The Establishment" candidate....you can't get much more establishment than Kissinger and the war movement of the 60s Democrats

[CoffeeCat]

17. Well, the only demographic in NH that we didn't beat Clinton--was those over the age of 65.

After Clinton's Kissinger remarks, we may well make inroads with that last remaining demographic.

Democrats and Independents over the age of 65 remember Kissinger, for sure.

Kissinger is like the Jabba the Hut of foreign policy (so there goes the Star Wars fans too).

[jham123]

18. Those devoid of social Media

And that is why last night will sting for Clinton. There were a few things but the Kissinger thing will resonate for weeks after last night.

[Ichingcarpenter]

27. The comeback kids

[Zorra]

9. Bravo!

A 5 Star Onion satire.

[jham123]

16. Brilliant!

very very well done.

[JDPriestly]

19. But, you know,

they (and, whisper, whisper, whisper, whisper, you know who they are) ALL look alike.

So, this mistake on the part of what's their names is very understandable.

Just a mistake. Nothing to see here.

I hope everyone knows that I am being a bit facetious here.

But, white people used to say this about African-Americans.

And now, we see the same principle at work in certain individuals' perceptions of a certain other ethnic/racial (??????) group. I'm not sure what the group is, but there are several possibilities.

All white people, all Jewish people, all UChicago students of the 1960s, all students of the 1960s, all Hippies . . . .

Lots of possibilities.

But they all look a like. Or at least a lot of them do.

[nyabingi]

23. Hahaha! This is pretty good! (nt)

[PatrynXX]

24. yeah kinda obvious the moment I read 2 sentences into it

yet there are those who think Satire (Faux) is real)

[21st Century Poet]

25. Does Bernie Sanders even exist?

I call bullshit on the very existence of Bernie Sanders. He has always looked suspiciously like a hologram to me.

[Fawke Em]

32. His supporters are.

[Truprogressive85]

29. Photogate

Reminds me of a photo circulated of than Sen. Obama in traditional clothing which was past long by HRC in 08

[Maedhros]

30. I can say unequivocally that anyone pushing this "fake photo" meme

is an asshole.

[Duval]

34. x10000

[Joe Shlabotnik]

31. I'm still so confused...

Was he there, or wasn't he?!1?!

[IMG][/IMG]

[Duval]

33. Fantastic satire! eom