Poll: Given Choice Between Romney and Santorum, Most Voters Choose Suicide

[Zorro]

Survey Spells Trouble for GOP, Pollster Says

With just one day until the key Republican contests in Michigan and Arizona, a new survey of likely voters indicates that in a match-up between former Massachusetts Governor Mitt Romney and former Pennsylvania Senator Rick Santorum, a majority would choose suicide over either candidate.

The poll, conducted by the University of Minnesota’s Opinion Research Institute, shows Mr. Romney drawing 21%, Mr. Santorum 18%, and various forms of suicide 61%.

“Throwing yourself in front of a speeding city bus” was the most popular means of suicide at 22%, with “jumping off the roof of a really tall building or bridge” coming in second at 17%.

According to pollster Davis Logsdon, the surging popularity of suicide bodes ill for both Gov. Romney and Sen. Santorum as presidential candidates in 2012.

More at: http://www.borowitzreport.com/2012/02/27/poll-given-choice-between-romney-and-santorum-most-voters-choose-suicide/

[sakabatou]

1. The Borowitz Report is not a real newspaper, is it?

[mucifer]

2. It's satire

[sakabatou]

3. I was going to add if it's like The Onion

But I got brain fart.