Trump’s Prefrontal Cortex Admits It Can’t Possibly Filter All Impulsive Comments From Rest Of Brain
Trumps Prefrontal Cortex Admits It Cant Possibly Filter All Impulsive Comments Coming From Rest Of Brain
NEW YORKSaying it was completely exhausted and overwhelmed by its strenuous workload, Donald Trumps prefrontal cortex admitted Thursday it was simply unable to filter through the torrent of impulsive comments coming from the rest of the presidential candidates brain. Im just completely inundated with erratic thoughts and knee-jerk reactions from all sidestheres no way I can possibly screen everything thats being produced in here, said the higher-order structure of Trumps brain responsible for impulse control and long-term planning, adding that the number of hastily formed ideas it was expected to evaluate and cull before they reached the speech motor cortex had been increasing steadily over the past year. Sometimes, four or five different instinctive urges will try to get through all at once, and its just impossible to stop every one of them. I keep thinking theyll eventually peter out, but there doesnt seem to be an end in sight. Ive been doing this for 70 yearsIm just drained. Trumps prefrontal cortex admitted that it could use significant help from the neural circuits in the angular gyrus and posterior cingulate that are tasked with moral decision-making, but noted that the ineffectual structures had stopped functioning years ago.
Yes, it's
The Onion.