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MineralMan

(146,317 posts)
Thu Sep 8, 2016, 11:27 AM Sep 2016

My 92-year-old mother has some memory issues.

Age-related, but sometimes troublesome. My father, who is the same age, is OK, and deals with those issues pretty well, so they're able to continue living in the house on their citrus farm in California.

I call them every day, at the same time each afternoon. Yesterday, my mother was quite upset about what she was seeing on television when I called. She said that the people on the television were all talking at the same time and yelling at each other. I could hear the TV in the background. It was tuned to Fox News.

Both of my parents were on the phone. So, I suggested that they find some other channel to watch, since the programming was disturbing them. My mother said that she wanted to follow the news about the election. I suggested that they watch the evening news, both local and national, on one of the major broadcast networks. I reminded them that those stations limited the amount of discussing what was going on, due to time limitations, so they'd learn what was going on, but wouldn't have to listen to the acrimonious arguments that are the fare on cable news channels.

To my surprise, my father said that he thought that it was a good idea. He said that my mother was bothered by what she had been seeing and was finding it difficult to follow. He ended by saying they'd try that, and have some other channel on during the day...some channel with interesting programming that had nothing to do with politics.

My Dad is always concerned about my mother's state of mind, so I expect he's going to do just that.

Thank goodness!

18 replies = new reply since forum marked as read
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Wilms

(26,795 posts)
1. Sounds like you and your dad have it under control.
Thu Sep 8, 2016, 11:30 AM
Sep 2016

Best to you on your journey with aging parents.

izzybella

(236 posts)
2. Ugh
Thu Sep 8, 2016, 11:30 AM
Sep 2016

My parents watch Fox 24/7. We actually block all cable channels when they visit and tell them we don't get cable. So far it has worked!

You sound like a very caring child. It is so tough to deal with memory issues.

MineralMan

(146,317 posts)
3. At 92, both of them are tired a lot of the time,
Thu Sep 8, 2016, 11:36 AM
Sep 2016

and use the TV as a background thing. Lots of older people do that. Fox News is on in a lot of their homes. When I visit them a couple of times a year, the TV is off, and we have conversations instead. I hope they can find a better channel to have on. I suggested the Home and Garden channel, which actually has a pretty good variety of programming that might appeal to them. In fact, I looked up the local cable channel for that on my tablet while I was talking to them, and gave them the number.

Who knows? I can certainly understand why watching Fox News would be upsetting for my mother. It's a constant stream of people talking over each other and making little sense.

PJMcK

(22,037 posts)
4. Great to hear about the closeness of your relationship with your parents
Thu Sep 8, 2016, 11:36 AM
Sep 2016

Like you, MineralMan, I stay in touch with my father very often, usually every other day. Before my mother died almost 7 years ago, I spoke with her nearly as often. My relationships with most of my family are important touchstones in my life. I'm happy for yours.

I'm also glad that your dad's changing the channel!

Lastly, your mom isn't the only one with memory issues: Donald Trump seems to have forgotten an awful lot! (wink)

MineralMan

(146,317 posts)
5. From everything I can tell, those afternoon phone calls
Thu Sep 8, 2016, 11:41 AM
Sep 2016

are a high point in their day. Mostly, we talk about old times, what's for dinner that evening, and other family banter. We generally chat for about 45 minutes each day.

If I were living there, I'd drop by every day and see if there was something I could do for them. But, they're in California and I'm in Minnesota, where my wife's mother has even worse problems. Fortunately, my brother and sister live nearby, and do drop in daily on them. We all wish they'd move into assisted living, but we don't press them too much on that. They're doing OK, with some help from their offspring, but it's troubling sometimes.

My wife and I will see them at Christmas. We fly out there a couple of times a year. We can't afford to do it more often.

 

Duval

(4,280 posts)
15. Expressing love by keeping in touch is tops!
Thu Sep 8, 2016, 02:57 PM
Sep 2016

You're a good son. Really, I wish my children would call me more often. At least my 23 year old granddaughters have continued to email me almost every day for the last 8 years. And I'll tell you right now, your parents feel the love when you call.

PJMcK

(22,037 posts)
18. Sounds like your a family values kind of guy
Fri Sep 9, 2016, 11:40 AM
Sep 2016

You obviously care about your family and their well-being. I admire you for that and for many of the things you've written.

asiliveandbreathe

(8,203 posts)
6. My best to your parents - 92 - just the thought - you are so right
Thu Sep 8, 2016, 11:43 AM
Sep 2016

to suggest they tune into something else...I just go bonkers when I even get a whiff of Fox, or Andrea or the toad or the trumpster...

as retired folk's, hubby will surf through the channels - and land where he knows he is not supposed to - he says it is how he get's my attention - considering I am always reading on the computer....oh, he gets my attention alright..LOL

Best wishes to you and your Mom and Pop...

MadCrow

(155 posts)
7. My Mom will be 101
Thu Sep 8, 2016, 11:56 AM
Sep 2016

However, she is still pretty sharp. When someone inquired if she had ever asked God why he kept her alive so long, she responded, "No, he might change his mind." She was born and raised in New York City, and has been a life-long Republican. Since she is currently in a nursing home, she hasn't kept up with politics. When my son informed her that Donald Trump was running for the Republican nomination, she rolled her eyes and said.. "The real estate guy! He's a crook!" She also said that Trump proves that having money doesn't mean you have class. Most of my family are Democrats, and it wasn't until about two years ago that my mother admitted she voted for Obama. She was impressed by his demeanor and thought he was knowledgeable about the issues. She also thought he had a lovely family.

skylucy

(3,739 posts)
9. Thank you for posting this. My parents are
Thu Sep 8, 2016, 12:17 PM
Sep 2016

88 and 89 years old and live in the same town as me. I go to their house about every other day and call them at the same time (5 o'clock!) every day. Your parents sound a lot like mine. My father is physically/mentally in excellent health. My mother is very frail and has a few memory problems. During the Republican convention, my mom was very concerned because on TV there were "so many people there who love Trump". When the Dems had their convention, my dad and I said "See...Look at all those people...It will be ok!!" So cute. They got mad at Fox News and stopped watching it after they voted for Obama and saw how Fox always lied about him and bashed him!! Their 70th anniversary is in October and I requested a congrats card from President Obama for them. Sorry to run on but I feel a kinship with people who are looking after elderly parents. It is a bittersweet journey, isn't it?
Regarding Trump: My mother may not be quite as sharp as she used to be, but she knows an idiot when she sees one!

riversedge

(70,242 posts)
10. Good suggestion MM. I have worked with folks with memory problems in my
Thu Sep 8, 2016, 12:38 PM
Sep 2016

line of work.... Things they can't understand or can not follow--like TV shows that talk over or argue all the time--do tend to make them agitated.


You did well. I wish your family well.

HipChick

(25,485 posts)
11. My parents just signed up on DU
Thu Sep 8, 2016, 12:40 PM
Sep 2016

They are in their mid-80's...they just love it...they can't vote, and don't even live in the US...but all countries are following this election very very close..My father's memory is beginning to fail, but my mum even tells me things I've missed during the news cycle day...

niyad

(113,344 posts)
12. your parents are now on du?? welcome them for me, please. how utterly delightful.
Thu Sep 8, 2016, 01:03 PM
Sep 2016

I am sorry for the reason they did this, though. der drumpfenfuhrer is an international embarrassment.

niyad

(113,344 posts)
14. I keep hoping that I will find out that this has all been some extended, drug-induced nightmare.
Thu Sep 8, 2016, 01:16 PM
Sep 2016

but then, I don't take drugs, so that isn't the case. I think the rest of the world must be alternating between utter horror, and utter bemusement at this insanity.

csziggy

(34,136 posts)
16. If they can get BBC News or CNN International, those are better and more in depth
Thu Sep 8, 2016, 04:30 PM
Sep 2016

My husband likes keeping one of the CSPAN channels on most of the time - he switches among the three we get for varied programs.

MineralMan

(146,317 posts)
17. Not really their style.
Thu Sep 8, 2016, 07:43 PM
Sep 2016

They're 92 years old, after all. The three major networks will do just fine, I think.

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