Our deepest Al Gore fantasies

[DonViejo]

By Alexandra Petri August 14 at 2:20 PM

There has been talk (is that safe to say?) of a presidential run by Al Gore. Not much, but some. Whispers have been whispered. Old records with relevant subliminal messages in them have been duly played backwards. Smoke of an ambiguous color has been released from the chimney of the Gorequarters.

Mike Feldman, Gore’s former traveling chief of staff, observed: “I’m not saying there’s nobody out there fantasizing about it, but I haven’t heard anything.”

“Fantasizing,” eh?

Please, don’t pour any of that famous lukewarm water on this concept. I am excited by the possible existence of people, out there, who fantasize about a Gore candidacy. This fantasy is so oddly specific and so — manageable. What is the fantasy life of a Gore supporter like?

Here is my best guess at a few of these people’s other fantasies:

• You come home and your wife is there and you eat some asparagus together.
• You think you see a unicorn, but it’s a horse.
• You turn on the TV and there’s a great documentary showing about the Yellowstone Caldera and you’re only a few minutes in so you can pick it up right away.
• You come home and your wife isn’t there yet and so you can watch a whole episode of “Criminal Minds” by yourself before she arrives and you have to talk to her.
• You’re at a bus stop and you see Claire McCaskill is there and you remember her name and say hi, but she doesn’t expect you to keep making conversation.
• Being given a big folder of papers to read.
• Getting a bigger sandwich than you expected so you can take some of it home!
• Long elevator ride, but only one person has pushed the button for a floor below yours.
• Reasonable traffic jam that turns out to be just rubbernecking.
• Winning a participation trophy.
• Attractive woman rings your doorbell late at night to tell you a fun fact.
• Receiving a postcard, not handwritten.
• Someone from work e-mails you a picture of a penguin.

-snip-

more
https://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/compost/wp/2015/08/14/our-deepest-al-gore-fantasies/?

[dsc]

1. I am so glad our press is keeping track of the important issues

but since this bubble head asked, here are some of my deepest Al Gore fantasies.

I fantasize about an Al Gore who didn't invade Iraq. I fantasize about an Al Gore that didn't leave people to drown in New Orleans. I fantasize about an Al Gore who didn't irresponsibly cut taxes and run up trillions in debt. I fantasize about an Al Gore who didn't ignore a briefing literally entitled Bin Laden Determined to attack the US and which literally said he might use planes. I fantasize about an Al Gore who passed a civil rights bill protecting gays, expanded Medicare to age 50, and didn't let the economy run into the ground. Those are my Al Gore fantasies.