"Trampire:" Why the Public Slut Shaming of Kristen Stewart Matters for Young Women

[redqueen]

This was posted in GD, and it got recs but not much discussion. What discussion there was was unfocused... about celebrity culture and how bad fans can be.

Given the trend we're seeing with respect to women's rights I thought it deserved to be posted here, too. Slut shaming and the age-old double standard are alive and well.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/mobileweb/nico-lang/trampires-why-the-slut-sh_b_1850940.html

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Part of the reason that Robsten doesn't matter to me, however, is that I am not a young woman today, and I'm glad that I'm not. For any girl growing up who pays attention to the media, it's a terrifying time to understand what it means to be a girl in society. From Rush Limbaugh, they've learned that they are prostitutes and "sluts" for wanting birth control and healthy reproductive options for women. From Todd Akin, they've learned that their bodies can magically judo chop any unwanted side effects of rape and that women somehow can be "illegitimately" raped. From Paul Ryan, they've learned that rape is just "another method of conception," which should be news to the makers of the Kama Sutra. And then Rape Culture Super-Defender Mike Huckabee chimed in by saying that "rape can create extraordinary people," because young women everywhere desperately needed his opinion on this issue. Thanks, Huck.

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But for young women, the culture of slut shaming that the Kristen Stewart scandal represents won't go away. I might not be concerned for K-Stew, but I am concerned for all the young women today who are tuned into this scandal, ones who are learning that it's not okay to screw up, ever. Chris Brown can publicly beat the hell out of his girlfriend but still be played on the radio and win Grammys. However, if you ever cheat on your boyfriend, your life is over and no one will ever want to be associated with you. Almost no one will blame the much-older guy you cheated with, and it might actually make him more famous and help his career. Few will care that he was your boss and in a position of authority or that he may have have taken advantage of your youth and relative inexperience. Everything is your fault, and your life will be threatened over it. If you are a trampire, you will be publicly staked for it, even though cheater Ashton Kutcher recently emerged relatively unscathed by the media. No one asked for him to be fired from Two and a Half Men.

I might not be concerned for K-Stew, but I am concerned for my younger stepsister who has pictures of Kristen Stewart and Robert Pattinson on her walls, who idolizes and worships them, and who might grow up to hate Kristen Stewart for reasons she doesn't understand. I'm worried she will be taught that it's not okay to mess up, learn from it and apologize, because no one wants your apology, just your suffering on camera. I'm worried that she'll think its okay to harass and threaten women for their indiscretions, even if men get off scot-free. I'm worried she will think this culture of bullying, slut-shaming and rhetorical violence against women is the norm, because you get a t-shirt for it. I'm worried she will learn to internalize the shame brought on far too many women today, for having sexualities, for not being perfect, for not fitting into a box. I'm worried she'll believe men like Todd Akin, Paul Ryan and Mike Huckabee are right.

Because even if she doesn't know who Akin, Ryan and Huckabee are, even if she doesn't pay attention to politics or the radical right-wing GOP, she does pay attention to Twilight and Robsten. And if we want to empower her to be a strong, independently minded woman who knows that her body, sexuality and safety are legitimate and can stand up for her rights, we need to pay attention, too. This might seem ridiculous to us, and most people I know can't wait to stop talking about it. But for her, having this conversation makes a difference. Although no young woman should think it's okay to cheat, what we are teaching them right now is so much worse.

[Kali]

1. the first fail is letting kids idolize popular culture figures

kids need to have exposure to real people that do real important things, and not have all their attention focused on tee vee, popular movies/music. There is a whole big REAL world out there, do they even know about it?

if a teen is out say volunteering at a library or shelter, or building trails in a park or even being entertained by books and movies with substance would this even matter? does it really help to tell people who pay attention to that kind of garbage that it might be unhealthy?

[redqueen]

2. Girls at school are slut-shamed, too.

K-Stew and what she's going through provide an opportunity for a teachable moment.

[Kali]

5. I am at a disadvantage in the discussion because I have no clue who this person is.

which I guess is my whole point.

[Mosby]

3. I think there is somewhat of a double standard

Last edited Tue Sep 11, 2012, 11:44 PM - Edit history (1)

But the article ignores people like jesse james, tiger woods and arnold s, all of whom were ripped in the media for cheating.

[liberalmuse]

4. This fiasco made me so sad for young women.

I thought our society had gotten beyond the Scarlett Letter and shaming women for acting on their desires. On the other hand, men are encouraged to act on their desires and receive little consequence other than an elbow nudge and wink. Reading hateful statements about KStew, mostly from women - some of whom may have been cheated on themselves made me frustrated and disgusted. There was always little to no mention of the man twice her age who was essentially her boss at one point.

It's not okay to cheat, but we're all human and do stupid things. It's the glaring double standard where men can come through breaking up a marriage relatively unscathed. If a single woman and married man cheat, it is inevitably the single woman who is raked through the coals and called every slur in the book, and she was the one who wronged the wife and kids rather than the man who was supposed to be committed as a husband and father. It seems there is no middle ground for women - they vacillate between slut or saint in our current culture. And God forbid a woman enjoy sex and sleep around like some men do.

[kelly1mm]

6. I disagree. Cheaters should be shamed. She is no better than Newt in my view. What is so hard

about breaking up with someone before you have sex with someone else? Male, female makes no difference to me. If you are in a suposedly commited relationship DON'T CHEAT!

Period.

No exceptions.

Break up first, then bang whoever you want.

[Warren Stupidity]

7. why is it anyone else's business other than the people directly involved?

[ProgressiveProfessor]

8. This kind of herd behavior impacted my daughters for a while

When we came back to the US for them to finish high school, they were not ready for the social dramas of high school, having grown up mostly overseas.

To me (the shaming and other drama) is an optional behavior that you can teach against.