I Need a Better Class of Panicked Dude Leaving Comments

[ismnotwasm]

(Hilarious piece by Sci-Fi author John Scalzi)

Because I gotta tell ya, the ones that are posting here are letting me down. Consider this latest comment, expunged from its original place in a comment here but presented for your delight, from “ManCaveThrust”:
This place is horseshit. Anyone who tells the TRUTH about alpha game or feminism suddenly becomes a prime target for Scalzi’s black helicopter squad. Take your self-righteousness and stuff it. You and your rabbit poops can stay far away from me and my tight ass life.
Notes:
1. Tired rhetoric — “rabbit” references been done to death in terms of me, handwringing about feminism likewise, all this “alpha” stuff, game or otherwise, is just boring. Yes, yes, alpha this, rabbit that. Where’s the originality? Where’s the pop? Where’s the craft?

2. For that matter, this fellow is clearly not keeping up with current events, otherwise he’d know that at the moment I’m (fairly, to be sure) not exactly in the finest possible odor with many feminists. I want my ranting comments fresh and contextually aware, thank you.

3. A single all capped word? If you’re not going to commit to an all-cap lifestyle in your comment, don’t bring the all caps at all. And again, here we are with the craft issue.

4. Metaphor usage is not up to snuff. “Black helicopter squad?” If this dude was paying any attention at all, it would have been “pastel helicopter squad” — most people would have realized it was a play on “black helicopters” but the “pastel” bit would have more in line with the attempt to frame me as an emasculated tool of the matriarchy; real men won’t ever be seen in pastels, they’re clinically proven to shrink one’s testicles.

http://whatever.scalzi.com/2013/06/07/i-need-a-better-class-of-panicked-straight-male-leaving-comments/

[discntnt_irny_srcsm]

1. "pastel helicopter"

thanks