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Sexual Assault in Mormon Patriarchy
“The most sexually restrictive cultures have strong double standards for male and female behavior. Women and men are supposed to act in prescribed ways, with men allowed more leeway and freedom in many cases. For example, a woman is often blamed when she is raped.” (Darrel Ray, ED.D, Sex & God)
As a lawyer, I review and analyze sexual assault cases on a daily basis. I have interviewed and talked with victims; heard their stories first hand. I have briefed people in leadership positions on the problem, developed trial strategy, and helped people see how their cultural biases are affecting their objectivity when analyzing a case. Currently, most of my work-day is spent overseeing and coordinating the prevention, investigation and prosecution of sexual assaults within my organization. I’ve learned it’s very hard for people to analyze sexual assaults because of our cultural biases. We live in a patriarchy with a Judeo-Christian background. Those biases exist in greater quantity in conservative cultures like Mormonism. This conservative and patriarchal culture creates both the incentive to sexually assault women and the landscape where perpetrators can more freely operate without fear of punishment. Consider the following fictional fact pattern. It’s created as a composite from what I’ve seen in my professional work but adapted to Mormonism. I choose Mormonism because I am a Mormon and want to help improve my own culture, the culture my children, especially my daughter, will inherit.
...
In the United States, and especially Mormonism, there is a patriarchy. In our patriarchy, the men are in charge. Men are bishops, stake presidents, and general authorities. Even the “head” of the Church, Jesus, is a man. With that authority comes privilege. This privilege affects how the police investigate, how the bishop or other religious leaders counsel, and the narrative regarding sexual assaults that’s carried in the culture.
Mormonism, and other patriarchies, give men greater freedom of movement. In Mormonism, men have sexual desire and women are desirable. It is the woman’s responsibility to be a guardian of both men and women’s virtue (See Guardians of Virtue, Elaine S. Dalton, April 2011 General Conference; and Be Not Moved, Elaine S. Dalton, April 2013 Young Women’s Conference, “your influence on the young men will help them remain worthy of their priesthood power, of temple covenants, and of serving a mission.”). In our greater American culture, men get to brag about sexual exploits, while women risk becoming sluts. (In the specific context of Mormonism, men brag about kissing lots of girls but not intercourse.) Men gain by having sex with women, but women lose by having sex. Men feel a sense of ownership over the women they sleep with. That’s where phrases like “sloppy seconds” and “left-overs” come from. It is in this environment, this landscape that the perpetrator can operate with impunity.
The privilege means people ask, “Why did she go over that late?” and not “Why did he invite her over that late?” It asks “why didn’t she fight back?” and not “Why didn’t he stop?” It asks “Why did she drink so much?”, and not “Why did he give her doubles all night?”. It asks “What has she done with boys in the past?”, and not “Why did he pick her?”. It asks “Why didn’t she call the roommates for help?”, and not “Why would she want them to walk in to see her naked and being raped?”. It asks “Why did she do nothing?” and not “How scary that must have been, being raped by a friend?”.
...
Ending our patriarchy by treating women as equals would go a long way to solving this problem. It won’t stop all rapes, but it would greatly lessen them and make them easier to prosecute; we wouldn’t be fighting biases from the investigation through the jury trial.
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http://rationalfaiths.com/sexual-assault-in-mormon-patriarchy/
As a lawyer, I review and analyze sexual assault cases on a daily basis. I have interviewed and talked with victims; heard their stories first hand. I have briefed people in leadership positions on the problem, developed trial strategy, and helped people see how their cultural biases are affecting their objectivity when analyzing a case. Currently, most of my work-day is spent overseeing and coordinating the prevention, investigation and prosecution of sexual assaults within my organization. I’ve learned it’s very hard for people to analyze sexual assaults because of our cultural biases. We live in a patriarchy with a Judeo-Christian background. Those biases exist in greater quantity in conservative cultures like Mormonism. This conservative and patriarchal culture creates both the incentive to sexually assault women and the landscape where perpetrators can more freely operate without fear of punishment. Consider the following fictional fact pattern. It’s created as a composite from what I’ve seen in my professional work but adapted to Mormonism. I choose Mormonism because I am a Mormon and want to help improve my own culture, the culture my children, especially my daughter, will inherit.
...
In the United States, and especially Mormonism, there is a patriarchy. In our patriarchy, the men are in charge. Men are bishops, stake presidents, and general authorities. Even the “head” of the Church, Jesus, is a man. With that authority comes privilege. This privilege affects how the police investigate, how the bishop or other religious leaders counsel, and the narrative regarding sexual assaults that’s carried in the culture.
Mormonism, and other patriarchies, give men greater freedom of movement. In Mormonism, men have sexual desire and women are desirable. It is the woman’s responsibility to be a guardian of both men and women’s virtue (See Guardians of Virtue, Elaine S. Dalton, April 2011 General Conference; and Be Not Moved, Elaine S. Dalton, April 2013 Young Women’s Conference, “your influence on the young men will help them remain worthy of their priesthood power, of temple covenants, and of serving a mission.”). In our greater American culture, men get to brag about sexual exploits, while women risk becoming sluts. (In the specific context of Mormonism, men brag about kissing lots of girls but not intercourse.) Men gain by having sex with women, but women lose by having sex. Men feel a sense of ownership over the women they sleep with. That’s where phrases like “sloppy seconds” and “left-overs” come from. It is in this environment, this landscape that the perpetrator can operate with impunity.
The privilege means people ask, “Why did she go over that late?” and not “Why did he invite her over that late?” It asks “why didn’t she fight back?” and not “Why didn’t he stop?” It asks “Why did she drink so much?”, and not “Why did he give her doubles all night?”. It asks “What has she done with boys in the past?”, and not “Why did he pick her?”. It asks “Why didn’t she call the roommates for help?”, and not “Why would she want them to walk in to see her naked and being raped?”. It asks “Why did she do nothing?” and not “How scary that must have been, being raped by a friend?”.
...
Ending our patriarchy by treating women as equals would go a long way to solving this problem. It won’t stop all rapes, but it would greatly lessen them and make them easier to prosecute; we wouldn’t be fighting biases from the investigation through the jury trial.
...
http://rationalfaiths.com/sexual-assault-in-mormon-patriarchy/
Ugh, "becoming sluts"... a few sour notes in this piece, but IMO it is an important piece because it shows that religion and patriarchy are not synonymous. Too often people try to point the finger at religion and conservatives as if they are the source of all this nasty patriarchy business. The uncomfortable truth is that it is society itself which is patriarchal. The views that propagate patriarchy are often more openly pronounced in religion and other conservative subcultures, but it is society as a whole that must change. The mindset that maintains the unequal view and treatment of women is not limited solely to religious and conservative people.
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