what are women looking for from this forum

[seabeyond]

a lot has happened over the last month or so and at that time we had a poster, texas gal, start a thread expressing what she was looking for, what she would like to see and experience. i enjoyed that thread, but it was cut off short. i would like to hear, what women are looking for in this forum.

one of the big things i learned is that there is a difference between supporting womens rights and being a feminist. i have spent the last month doing a lot of reading. i think that the number of feminist is very small. and that we have always been in a position of not being well liked. i think about the women fighting for the right to vote. they had opposition from so many and not a lot of support. men and women and a system fighting against them. these women were judged harshly. critically. personally attacked and villified. yet, they won the right to vote.

one of my favorite quotes i read recently is this. it helped me to put things into perspective.

So it seems that women, just as other oppressed groups, often perpetuate the same prejudicial thoughts or behavior that they’ve experienced in a way to separate themselves from the oppressed group and be accepted as part of the positive majority. Competition is formed in order to be ingratiated to those in positions of power or those seen as possessing positive characteristics. And yet, Steinem explains, when an opportunity is created for the sharing of experiences, a sense of community emerges. A sense of sisterhood, if you will.

http://engenderingequality.wordpress.com/2011/11/14/sisterhood/

[monmouth]

1. I remember as a teenager in high school the subject came up about my going to

college. Mother stated money for college would be for my younger brother as it would be a waste for me, most likely to marry and have children and all. It would just be a waste. My brother would need the college education to support a family. I never felt the same way about that woman again. My brother never did go to college, he went to a business school... I should have stood up to her but it was very ingrained in a lot of women at the time that education was for men.

[seabeyond]

2. wow monmouth, that would be a hard one to swallow

even though my parents were traditional, and raised us in that manner, my mom didnt think of herself as subservient or assigned to a role even way back then. and my father was raised by an intellectual mother, a working mother, and she had three sisters that never married. she was much older when she married, too.

so though we were in the times, i never experienced that.

i figured the reason i have never cottoned to gender roles is because i had the same expectations on me as my two older brothers. more so really, cause i was the good kid, lol. we werent raised by gender, but as people. i started my sport at 4 and competed for a decade and half.

but, on the other hand, i was raised in a society where men were just better, somehow. i was a teenager before it dawned on me what bullshit society had given me on my role as a girl.

[monmouth]

3. I always felt she was somewhat jealous of me and my independence. She unfortunately, was a very

needy and manipulative person along with being very self-involved. I was her crutch.

[seabeyond]

4. ahhhh, well you see

sabotage.

i am sorry to hear that. all children deserve better. my mom was the one person always, i knew i could trust to want only the best for me. that is what all kids deserve. and so many do without.

[Tumbulu]

8. My mother was awarded a full scholarship

to attend an all women's college during the depression, but she had to turn it down so that she could work at a paying job, in order to help earn the money to put her brothers through college. She was from an immigrant family, and this is how those families operated.

We grew up KNOWING that we were going to go to college. But we also knew that we were going to have to pay for ourselves. Which we all did. Which was not an easy matter.

I was accepted to the doctoral program of my dreams- in soil microbiology. I was thrilled- I loved the subject matter and sincerely wanted to pursue my PhD in it. I loved the University as well. But I was obligated to pledge that if I ever had a baby I would not take more than 6 weeks "off" . I would not take the pledge, so the offer was revoked.

I am in my mid 50's. This was a standard requirement for any woman entering the sciences at the PhD level.

[seabeyond]

5. something else i would like to put out here. though focused on womens history, also a personal place

for women to be able to talk comfortably, in a "safe" place. one of the issues women face today is there are not a lot of places on the net that women are not having to wade in the negative that SOME men give to women regularly while posting. and so though we are talking womens history, there may be issues that women need a comfortable place to express person experiences.

[hlthe2b]

6. Thanks for getting this thread going, seabeyond.

We definitely want to hear from subscribers and users what they would like to gain from this forum and how they want to see it shaped.

Please, all... Weigh in with your thoughts!

[Texasgal]

7. I'm interested in sharing

and learning what it means to be a feminist and to try relay that in my personal life. I need more education and guidance.

I am glad we are here.

[Tumbulu]

9. me too!

This has made my day!

[MadrasT]

10. What Texasgal wrote says it pretty well for me, too.

I am very uneducated about feminism and would like some help figuring it out and a safe space for that to happen. And I want to be able to share my own ideas and ask questions and share experiences without getting attacked.

[PassingFair]

12. Especially regarding family issues.

...and the menopause.



I need HELP!!

[Hatchling]

11. I , too am looking for an education.

All too often I sense when things are wrong, but I have no background to explain why.

[BlueIris]

13. It's too early for me to contribute any expectations.

I am still totally exhausted from everything that has happened on this website these last couple of months, and I don't just mean WRT feminism. I have my doubts that DU will be around that much longer.

But I will be watching this thread with interest, to see what the other feminists here are looking for.

[seabeyond]

14. i hear you, blueiris....

i know what you are saying.

[BlueIris]

15. It is definitely not my intention to bring any of that crap

into this new space. I just wanted to acknowledge why I may not be around here all that much. Or at all. And I do wish those who want to remain the best of luck making this group a meaningful and educational one.

[seabeyond]

16. ya

i just read your post in the other thread. bottom line, i think everyone is damn tired and done with the drama of it all. truly, done. i can appreciate what you are saying in the other thread, without getting into it all.

there is enough space for all to create what they desire, need, want.

it will be interesting to see what develops here.

[BlueIris]

17. Well, there is a silver lining in it all...

DU.com now has three groups with the words feminists or feminism in them and one women's rights/issues group. Four women/feminist centric groups on one website isn't a bad thing. Especially one affiliated with the Democratic Party.

[JTFrog]

18. +1 n/t