In these times of "privilege wars"

[KitSileya]

I am reminded by a great quote from Melissa McEwan, who runs the Shakesville community:

'The world looks very different once you replace "I don't think you should feel that way" with "I want to understand why you feel that way."'

How many times in the last week have we heard 'I don't think you should feel that way?' How many times have we been asked why we feel the way we do about the SI SI cover and the objectification of women?

[CTyankee]

1. I am honestly disappointed that our issues were simply dismissed out of hand and with nothing to

back them up except some tired retread catch phrases. And we are tired of hearing them.

[Hoppy]

2. I wanted to post the same thought.

There is anger on the topic. Anger and hurt coming from all genders. What were the posters' hurtful experiences that led them to the positions they now hold?

[KitSileya]

3. There is a lot of anger on the topic.

And while I can understand that many people are hurting and lashing out because gender roles have become too complex for their understanding, I don't need to accept their lashing out. They are being abusive, and no one is required to accept abuse, regardless of how good a reason the abuser has for their actions. It doesn't matter their reasons, what matters is their behavior. If they cannot behave properly, and this website does not implement proper procedures that will curb this abuse, then I will no longer support or frequent this website. I have a question in ATA right now that will determine my way forward. We will see what Skinner says, if he decides to answer, if not, it will be an answer in itself, I guess.

[1StrongBlackMan]

4. For me it's pretty simple ...

As a Black man, I know how it feels to have my humanity dismissed. I would wish that on no one, so I stand with anyone that the status quo marginalizes.

[redqueen]

5. One does not need to be hurt to understand the dynamics of oppression.

Nor does one need to be hurt to detect unfairness.

If I seem angry in a post it is because someone is playing stupid games in discussions of serious issues, or because someone has spent years mocking, minimizing, or otherwise dismissing feminist issues that they personally don't care about.

Your post comes a little too close to "Who hurt you?" for my tastes.

[KitSileya]

7. Yes. It doesn't matter the reasons. Abusive behavior isn't ok, regardless.

And we have a right to ask it to stop - not matter the reasons behind the abusive behavior.

And asking who hurt them, is such a short step away from excusing their behavior. Women, as you said, are raised to believe that they should accept and placate abusive behavior rather than stand up for themselves. Well, to hell with that, I say.

[redqueen]

6. Telling people that their feelings are invalid is a time-honored tradition.

How many years are spent conditioning girls and women to believe that their feelings about porn, strippers, etc are wrong and invalid?

[JustAnotherGen]

8. * 1000 plus 100

[RBStevens]

9. Not only that but then when people

question the culture that promotes the sexual objectification women so far as to create entire multi-billion dollar industries out of it we are told that we are anti-women. That we are "slut-shamers".

When in fact is 100% opposite - we actually care about the women (primarily) themselves, we want them to have other opportunities.