Who can I talk to who can explain what my father did/went through during the last two

[phylny]

days of his life last weekend?

My brother and I tended to our father as he died and I wanted to find some answers regarding what we saw and heard, and his behaviors over those last two days. I'm going to reach out to the hospice social worker, but who else might be able to explain it to me?

Thanks.

[Rorey]

1. I'm sorry for your loss

I hope the hospice worker can help.

I'm sure some folks here may also have some input if you want to share what your questions are.

[634-5789]

2. Attending physician?

[Rorey]

3. I can tell you this

I had the privilege of being with loved ones four separate times at the end of their lives, and each one was different. I read and read and read and read, looking for answers. What I found is that many of the questions I had didn't have a one-size-fits-all answer.

But questioning is something we naturally do as a means to cope with something so big.

[AllyCat]

4. I am so sorry for your loss.

Definitely reach out to hospice.

[Girard442]

5. When my wife died after being in hospital for several weeks...

...I created a timeline document of events based on texts and emails and memories. It wasn't so much to try to understand what happened, but to record the experiences so I wouldn't have a moment in the future when I would feel bad that a memory had slipped away and struggle to reconstruct it. I really don't look at much, but knowing it's there is a comfort.

That was ten years ago.

[Karadeniz]

6. Can you tell us what you saw and heard?

[Tetrachloride]

7. I suggest call an outsider if your hospice worker doesn't know.

1. Call an outsider. Your local funeral home may be able to advise on who and also on what questions to ask, or answer some of your questions.
2. Then you are ready to ask the real questions to the real person.

My hospice worker explained a few things and it was as she said. Fortunately, in the case of my mother, there was no mystery of her condition or care.

[mopinko]

8. the hospice org i volunteered w had counselors.

see if yours did, too. if not, find a social worker who does bereavement counseling.

but i agree w the reply above about creating a timeline. write it all down now.

[alittlelark]

9. Are these questions of a somewhat spiritual nature?

Sorry about the loss of your father.

[marble falls]

10. Start with dad's personal physician, or even your own.

[Big Blue Marble]

11. Reach out to Hospice in your area.

They may have grief counselors on staff or will refer you to one in the community.

In my experience, I found it very helpful to have a professional who understands
so many aspects of losing someone you love including their dying process.

I am so sorry for your loss and commend you for caring for your father in last days.

[phylny]

12. Thank you all for the kind words and thoughts.

My questions are not spiritual, they are about what he physically seemed to go through.

I can describe it in detail, but don't want to upset anyone.

[a kennedy]

13. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[markie]

14. my father

died here at my house and in the last two days the behavior concerned me... if your father had similar behaviors, I can understand wanting to know... it can be upsetting

I have been with a number of family members as they were dying and most didn't experience the same behavior

[PATRICK]

15. Our experience

was several episodes of mind loss occurred after which she had had no memory of what she did said or experienced. We figured that would be a comfort to know there was little enough going on and literally no memory. Subconsciously less capable then dreaming, little experience of time, nothing remembered when returned to some normalcy. So a drifting, then poof. People like to think they can reach someone even who has full dementia and even get upset they are not on the mental radar. Emotionally is another matter. Being there is extremely important. Touching. Visitors who come one day or even regularly, caregivers who only show for clean up, long hours isolated even if in a coma. Why are we obsessed with what may be going on in their reduced consciousness except they may feel their aloneness. All we can do is be there and sometimes that is the hardest to accomplish.