Trump rocked by devastating news - Another Day - Brian Tyler Cohen

[TexasTowelie]

BTC: Donald Trump profits as Americans suffer because that is what true leadership looks like. This is just another day.

When it comes to being able to measure the success of a presidency, there is no better metric than that of the economy. So with that, let's see how things are going.

(cut to video from NBC News)
Host: We are back with some breaking economic data and it is big. The US economy unexpectedly lost 92,000 jobs in February. The unemployment rate inched higher to 4.4%.

(cut to video from Morning Joe)
Reporter: There's no getting around it. This was a bad report.

(cut to video from ABC News)
Host: This jobs report is much worse than expected.

Mark Hamrick: And this is an ugly jobs report across the board.

(cut to studio)
BTC: So ugly. I mean, there is nothing that even comes close to how hideous, repulsive, and revolting this jobs (photo of Elon Musk wearing a towel and drinking liquor displayed), well, shit…

In the last 10 months, thanks to his chaotic tariff policies, Donald Trump has not added a single job and has essentially wrecked our economy. Or to put that another way,

(cut to video from Fox Business News)
Guest: The US economy, despite what you may hear uh in mainstream media, the US economy is strong and the consumer and corporate uh corporate leaders are telling us that it is. As for the war backdrop right now, short-term problems.

(cut to studio)
BTC: That's right. If there's one thing that we know about America getting involved in wars in the Middle East, it's that they are short-term problems. The Iraq war was like getting stuck in traffic. The war in Afghanistan, stepping on gum. All you have to do is close your eyes, take a deep breath, wait a few decades, and it'll all be over.

Now, the plus side of getting terrible economic news like this is that we get to see everyone from the administration come out and give us a lesson in perspective.

(cut to video from Fox Business News)
Stuart Varney: How soon can we expect the jobs picture to pick up sharply more more jobs coming into the economy? When are we going to see that?

Guest: Well, I think we have seen that uh tick up a little bit. Again, this number um in its raw numbers is not something we wanted to see, but overall we're still better than uh what we inherited from the Biden administration.

(cut to studio)
BTC: And while that's completely false, and Joe Biden added an average of 400,000 jobs per month, meaning this last year of Trump's presidency was worse than a single month of Biden's, it sounds true. So, we've essentially arrived at the doctors recommending cigarettes portion of Trump's presidency. Anyone else want to spin this for a win?

(cut to video from CNBC)
Kevin Hassett: This economy is moving the fastest we've ever seen. And with say 4% growth this year, which is about what I expect that we're going to see, then there'll be so much uh activity that everybody's going to be able to find a job that wants one.

(cut to studio)
BTC: That's right. Pay no attention to all that non-hiring going on. In just a matter of time, we'll be at zero unemployment. If you want a job, you got one. Tech jobs, retail jobs, hospitality jobs, even hand jobs for those who are interested.

But it's not just the jobs numbers that are dismal. Gas prices have spiked almost 9% since Trump decided to take us to war with Iran. But I guess there's other ways to see this, too.

(cut to video from CNN)
Dana Bash: I asked about rising gas prices. And he said, "That's all right. It'll be short term. It'll go way down very quickly." And I said, "Well, they're pretty high now." And he said, "No, they're not."

(cut to studio)
BTC: You see, sure, Americans could look at this chart and see that oil prices have reached the highest cost per barrel in years, or they could see how small that spike is in comparison to the height of the Empire State Building. Because when you look at it that way, things are going pretty great because it's all about perspective. In fact, thanks to Donald Trump's lust for war, things are going so splendidly for Americans, the White House decided to take a little victory lap by posting this completely propagandalist video entitled Justice the American Way.

(cut to video of various movie characters spanning several decades)
Wake up, Daddy.
Welcome home, son.
Strength and honor.
Strength and honor.
What will you do without freedom?
Maverick's in battle.
You can't conceive of what I'm capable of.
Finishing this fight.
Yeah, I'm thinking I'm back.
I'm here to fight the truth and justice and the American way.
I am the danger.
Time to find out.
Maximum effort.
Here it comes.
Now end this.
Flawless victory.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Hell yes. Nothing says justice the American way quite like using a movie scene to really highlight America's heritage from Braveheart. In what world does this administration deserve to take victory laps when these were the promises Trump made?

(cut to video from 2024 campaign rally)
Trump: Under my leadership, we are quickly going to turn this economic nightmare into an economic miracle. Wait, do you see how fast we're going to get it going?

(cut to studio)
BTC: Right. Except instead of turning that nightmare into a miracle, Trump just made it a worse nightmare. America was having a bad dream that we were being chased and Trump was like, "What if I add your grandmother getting nailed by a demon?"

They promised to create jobs but did the opposite. They promised to lower costs but did the opposite. They promised to keep us out of unnecessary wars but did the opposite. From where I'm sitting, this is the video they should be putting out there.

(cut to video from classic movies)
We fucked up.
I'm sorry.
Oh, I'm sorry.
It was my fault.
I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Oh my god. Oh my god. I'm so sorry.

(cut to studio)
BTC: The reality is none of this is surprising because it has always been Trump first, America last, despite his flowery rhetoric to the nation years ago.

(cut to video from CNN)
Trump: From this day forward, it's going to be only America First. America First. Every decision on trade, on taxes, on immigration, on foreign affairs will be made to benefit American workers and American families.

(cut to studio)
BTC: My god. The only way you could find more hypocrisy in that speech is if Trump promised to release every single one of the Epstein files and vowed that his handlers would never require the jaws of life to pry his shoes off of his feet.

But while Americans and their families pay more for gas, for groceries, for rent, for healthcare, Donald Trump and his family have been doing just fine, as in $4 billion fine.

Just over the past year, there's been foreign real estate deals, clandestine crypto dinners, the licensing of his name to products nobody gives a shit about. Oh, and uh who could forget this?

(cut to video from CNN)
Abby Phillip: The new Melania documentary has already been a financial success if your last name is Trump. Jeff Bezos and Amazon paid $40 million to license it.

(cut to studio)
BTC: $40 million, which is the highest amount ever paid for a documentary. Now, full disclosure, I haven't yet seen the film, but I imagine that sky-high price point was contingent on viewers finally getting the First Lady's perspective on her husband's questionable business practices, his infidelity, and her reaction to him being convicted of sexual abuse.

(cut to video from Fox Business)
Melania Trump: People will see it will see fashion. They will uh listen incredible music uh that I picked for every scene. I wanted to set up a mood.

(cut to studio)
BTC: And that mood? Heartless indifference.

Look, it is bad enough that Donald Trump, who specifically ran on rooting out corruption, is using his presidency to make billions, but the fact that while doing that, he's asking everybody else to make sacrifices is truly deplorable. He has duped millions of Americans into believing that he cared about anybody but himself. And now those same people are finding their lives to be demonstrably worse, all while Trump's is an embarrassment of riches. Or to look at it another way,

(cut to video from Fox Business News)
Guest: Short-term problem.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Sure.

[QueerDuck]

1. Thank you!