Trump loses it with staggering announcement - Another Day - Brian Tyler Cohen

[TexasTowelie]

BTC: Donald Trump says surging oil prices are actually a good thing, which if you really think about it is still a total lie. This is just another day.

As the war in Iran continues, so does the stream of bad news for anyone looking to fill up their car with gas, or heat their home, or buy almost anything that isn't produced in the US.

(cut to video from CNN)
Host: Oil prices shot back up to over $100 a barrel over the overnight as Iran focuses more of its attacks on fuel, tankers, fuel depots, infrastructure across the region. Just take a look at this video from Bahrain this morning. The International Energy Agency is sounding new alarms, saying that the war in the Middle East is causing the “largest supply disruption in the history of the global oil market.”

(cut to studio)
BTC: Okay, now I know that sounds bad, but that's only because it is. Unless, of course, you're the current President of the United States who tweeted this morning, "The United States is the largest oil producer in the world by far. So when oil prices go up, we make a lot of money."

And if that's true, it makes you wonder why Donald Trump isn't doing more to raise the price of oil. I mean, if these sky-high prices are such a boon for America, why hasn't Donald Trump dropped one of his big, beautiful border walls into the Strait of Hormuz to really throw a wrench into things? If I had to guess, I think the reason is because Donald Trump is full of shit. This president has launched a war with Iran with absolutely no plan and now, like every other disaster he gets our country into, he is trying to frame it as a win while everyday Americans suffer.

(cut to video from CNN)
Analyst: The longer this goes on, the more pain for you and me. It's not just that we're filling our tanks at $3.60 today. That could go to $4. But truckers are filling their trucks with diesel, which is closing in on $5. And all the stuff that's on those trucks is going to be more expensive for you and me. The businesses that are loading stuff onto trucks, that costs more money for them, and they're paying all these tariff costs. You think that they're going to eat the cost of the fuel search charges?

(cut to studio)
BTC: Oh. Ah, this is tough. But I'm going to go with my gut here and say yes.

(cut to video from CNN)
Analyst: I don't think so. Those are costs that you and I are going to pay, too.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Fuck. I am terrible at these games about oil. First, it was Wheel of Fortune and now this.

No matter what is going on in reality, Donald Trump is more than happy to try and deceive the American people into thinking everything is just tiptop despite the fact that as a result of his war, cargo deliveries have been stranded, shipping charges have been increased, and insurance premiums have skyrocketed. Yes, the price of gas at the pump is affected, but so has the price of food, medicine, airplane tickets, electricity, cooking oil, semiconductors, and more. This was Donald Trump last night.

(cut to video from C-SPAN)
Trump: Inflation is plummeting, incomes are rising, the economy is roaring back, and America is respected again, perhaps respected like never before.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Yes, respected like never before. Some people are even referring to this as being disrespected.

The war in Iran has been a fiasco since its inception. Congress wasn't notified at all. There was no plan for how to evacuate Americans who found themselves in harm's way. And by now, everyone has seen the horrific news that the United States is at fault for striking that school full of Iranian children. But I don't want to make it sound like Donald Trump isn't a born leader.

(cut to video from TODAY Show)
Host: President Trump telling Axios earlier, "Anytime I want it to end, it will end."

(cut to studio)
BTC: Yes, how great that our president can talk about a war he started like he's an angry dad on a family vacation. You think I won't turn this war around? Keep it up back there and see what happens.

The good news is that this White House realizes that this is serious stuff. Trump views the war in Iran and the hardship that Americans are feeling with the gravitas that it deserves and definitely totally not like it's just one big game. Right? If there's one thing this administration is not doing, it is making a mockery of the death and destruction taking place on a daily basis.

(cut to Operation Epic Fury video of various video games)

(cut to studio)
BTC: Okay, perhaps they slightly view it as a game. This is a real thing that our real administration really posted. All while US soldiers are dying. Our nation inadvertently killed hundreds of civilian children and Americans are suffering from an economic disaster. So, I'd say that's just a wee bit fucked up.

And while Donald Trump may be the leader of team propaganda, he's got plenty of followers happy to fall in line behind him.

(cut to video from CNBC and CNN)
Energy Sec. Chris Wright: President Trump is bold. He's full of common sense. We're going through short-term energy disruption for just huge long-term gain.

(cut to video from Fox News)
Unidentified: President Trump's a peace president.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Of course he is. You think they just give the FIFA Peace Prize to anyone who demands it? Here's how far up Trump's ass the Republican party is. For weeks now, Donald Trump has been referring to this war in Iran by one word.

(cut to video)
Trump: This was an excursion that a lot of people wouldn't have done. I knew oil prices would go up if I did this.

(cut to video from C-CPAN)
Trump: We did a little excursion. We had to take this little couple of weeks, few weeks of excursion, but it's been incredible. Our military is unbelievable the job they're doing.

(cut to video)
Trump: We took a little excursion because we felt we had to do that to get rid of some evil.

(cut to studio)
BTC: An excursion? Now, I don't mean to brag here, but I spent $200,000 on an English degree that is useful perhaps one time per year. And today is your lucky day because I can say with full authority that incursion and excursion are not the same. In fact, you don't need to have set a quarter of a million dollars on fire to know that. You can just go online and have an AI chatbot who is created to teach you English tell you so.

(cut to Chatbot video)
Chatbot: The term excursion is a noun that originates from the Latin word excursio meaning a running forth or sally. It refers to a short journey or trip usually taken for leisure, education or physical purposes.

Military incursion refers to a sudden temporary invasion or attack by military forces into a territory not under their control. Unlike a full-scale invasion, an incursion is typically limited in time and scope.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Donald Trump, a grown man with the supposed highest cognitive test results our nation has ever seen and is the commander-in-chief of the most powerful military in the world, has been sallying forth with the wrong word over and over and not only has a single one of his Republican sycophants not had the balls to throw a copy of basic English in front of his face, they've gone a step further.

(cut to video from C-SPAN2)
Mike Johnson: This was a limited operation and excursion.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Are you fucking kidding me? I think Mike Johnson needs to go alert his son that he's masturbating to porn just to get over this embarrassment.

Donald Trump does not care about gas prices going up any more than he cares about making housing more affordable and that's not just conjecture. According to a report from Punch Bowl News today, when the king of compliance, Mike Johnson, tried to get the President to focus on the recent housing bill, Donald Trump replied, "No one gives a bleep about housing." And just so you know, that's not me editing out Donald Trump's swear word. That is how Mike Johnson relayed Trump's message at a closed-door GOP meeting. Because while the speaker is more than willing to take the president's shit on a daily basis, he wouldn't dare say the actual word.

Donald Trump doesn't care about the cost of groceries going up, making healthcare more affordable, or even releasing all the Epstein files and that is because this president is a fake populist who does not give a shit sorry, a bleep about regular people. And because he doesn't care about anyone but himself and his rich friends, he is more than happy to frame every loss as a win.

When the cost of oil goes up, that's not bad for America. We make a lot of money. When the Supreme Court says the president's chaotic tariff policy is unconstitutional, that's not a setback.

(cut to video)
Trump: We won on tariffs, actually. Somebody said, "You actually won the case."

(cut to studio)
BTC: And when the president gets his ass handed to him after trying to take over Greenland…

(cut to video)
Trump: We will have all everything we want at no cost.

(cut to studio)
BTC: …it is all bullshit. And how about the most definitive loss of Donald Trump's political career, the 2020 election? No matter how many times his assertions have been debunked and his lawsuits have been thrown out, Trump still claims that he won that race in a landslide. And now he's taking it a step further by having his FBI seize election records in Georgia and most recently Arizona to somehow prove his falsehood. And if you dare ask why…

(cut to video from White House lawn)
Reporter: Sir, in Arizona, sir, in Arizona, why did the FBI seize election records in that state?

Trump: They thought the election was rigged, right?

Reporter: It wasn't rigged, though.

Trump: Oh, really? Who? How do you know?

Reporter: Your your own your own attorney general in 2020 said that there was not measurable voter fraud to change the outcome of the election.

Trump: I think it was rigged.

Reporter: No sir. Where's the evidence for that? It wasn't.

(cut to studio)
BTC: And that is the man that we're supposed to trust on everything else. Donald Trump lies about everything because he doesn't care about anyone but himself. He'll lie about the war he got us into, our economy he's thrown into turmoil, and the democracy that he continues to upend. Because when it comes to the truth, Trump never minds taking…

(cut to video)
Trump: A little excursion.

(cut to studio)
BTC: Exactly.